


Arcadia

by Mcwarr



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Dark Harry, Everyone Has Issues, Greek Life, Hurt Harry, Hurt Niall, Hurt/Comfort, Innocent Niall, Issues, Jealous Harry, Lashton - Freeform, Lilac Niall, Lonely Niall, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Niall-centric, Possessive Harry, Protective Ashton, Protective Greg, Protective Harry, Punk Harry, Shy Niall, learning to love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 12:02:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 47,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2467589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mcwarr/pseuds/Mcwarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was absolutely gorgeous. He was even taller than I had originally thought, looking ridiculously attractive with a smirk on his face and a crazy mess of brown hair on his head. He had on a red flannel paired with destroyed black skinny jeans and biker boots and I know right away that this is the type of boy i should stay away from. His eyes are relaxed, staring hungrily at something with obvious lust in his eyes. </p><p>His dark and dangerous aura is striking and I immediately want to look away, but his gaze holds mine. He slowly mouths the words, “Come here.” And I look around and behind me to see who he’s talking to, but there’s no one else paying attention. When I look back at him, he’s smirking, a glint of humor dashing through his eyes. “Yeah, you.” He mouths, and I’m pretty sure he means me. </p><p>I can honestly say that I didn't know what I was getting into when I decided to hang out with my brother's old Fraternity friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Come on Princess

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> Finally got this second Narry story up and running. Please go check out my other on-going Narry story “Things Money Can’t Buy”. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes, I’ll try to fix them in editing tomorrow, but we’ll see. 
> 
> This first chapter was very loosely inspired by a straight H.S. story, “Dark” by musicforsound on Wattpad (as in, i took a few sentences from her story and turned it into my own Narry story)

Niall POV

I run a hand through my hair, trying to pull the light lilac strands back into their soft quiff. 

I’m sure they’re just running behind. I click the home button on my iPhone and read the time. Okay… they’re only 45 minutes late… 

That’s fine. 

Twenty minutes later it’s not so fine and my roommate, Ashton, tells me that he’s coming to pick me up in ten minutes. I bite my lip, and sniffle a little, wondering if I should text Greg.

My brother, Greg Horan, had set up some kind of meeting between me and some guys from the fraternity he had been in. I didn’t really want to be in a fraternity, (especially not one where I’d just be labeled “Greg Horan’s brother”) but Greg had told me I needed to be more social. If I told him that his friends didn’t show up, he’d probably blame me and then set up another meeting were I’d get ditched again. 

I decide not to tell him. 

I adjust my oversized off-white sweater as I stand and grab my coffee cup. I inhale slowly and turn around, only to get the breath knocked out of me as a huge guy plows into me. 

“Hey! Watch i-” A low, gruff voice begins but then almost immediately cuts off. 

My face is contorted in a wince, ready to be yelled at and maybe then beaten into a speck of dust. But, when there’s nothing but silence, my eyes open in surprise. 

“Well… isn’t he adorable?” Another, higher voice chimes in. A slightly shorter, light brown haired boy with blue eyes glides up next to the larger one, smiling brightly at me. “Hi there, sweetheart, is Liam here giving you any trouble?”

I stand up straighter and back away a little, shaking my head and making a point to not make eye contact with either of them. “Um, N-no. No, we’re totally good here.” I stutter and grip the ends of my sweater sleeves in my hands, slightly terrified. 

The shorter one gasps. “Irish? Are you Greg’s brother?” He exclaims, gripping ‘Liam’s’ arm tightly and jumping up and down a little. I let out a shaky breath and try to nod at him, but I just continue to warily eye the larger one. The excited boy glares at ‘Liam’ and slaps his back lightly, “You scared the hell out of him, Li! Apologize.” He demands 

My eyes widen and I’m quick to sputter, “No, that’s really not nece-“ 

“No, I’m sorry.” ‘Liam’ says genuinely, cutting me off and giving me an apologetic smile. “I usually try to not knock down cute boys. Especially not cute boys with the last name Horan.” 

I look down, trying to hide my smile and the blush that’s creeping up my neck. 

“Jesus.” I hear the light haired boy mutter, and a hand is thrust in front of me. “Well, my name is Louis, and this oaf is Liam. We’re the recruiters from Delta Lambda Phi, we knew your brother!” He grins at me in a way that makes me blush even harder. 

“Um, Hi.” I say, waving my hand shortly, “M’name is Niall.” I say, feeling my accent thicken with my shyness. 

“That’s a cute name.” Liam compliments, “And that accent. Jeez.” 

Louis makes a noise that sounds like squeal and he pushes me to sit down at the table that I was just sat at, then moves to sit next to me as Liam sits across from me. 

Louis leans in, a little too close to my face, as he asks, “So, Niall, you’re a first year, right?”

“Um,” I laugh nervously, checking my watch, “Well- yeah. I’m a freshman.” 

“So that makes you, what, seventeen?” Liam asks. When I nod he chuckles. “Well Louis here is a senior, and I’m a junior. How’re you liking it here?” 

I shrug, “It’s alright.” My shyness is almost painful at the moment. Plus, being surrounded on both sides by two hot guys who were complementing me wasn’t helping. 

Liam nods, agreeing with me. “I understand. The weather can be a bit dreary, but once you get past this the city’s really quite beautiful.” 

The weather was actually one of the only reasons I liked this place, but I don’t tell him that. 

Louis interjects, “So, you want to join DLP?? Of course, any brother of Horan is a brother of ours…” 

“Um, actually, I don’t really think the “Greek life” is for me. Greg just wanted me to make friends.” I dismiss, cutting him off before he can get to excited, shaking my head at them. 

Liam and Louis share a look before Louis exclaims, “But Nialler!” 

Nialler?

“-The Greek life is for everyone!” He continues, his voice getting louder. When I don’t respond, Louis continues. “Well you should at least come hang out with us at the house. I know the other guys will love meeting Greg’s little bro!” 

I mentally sigh, knowing that this “friendship” would never work out (seeing as I was just “Greg’s little bro”), but I give him a shy smile anyway. “I’d love to, lads, but my roommate’s actually picking me up soon.” 

“You can’t ditch him?” Liam asks. I bite my lip and shake my head, hoping I seem convincing. Just as I say that, Ashton’s car pulls up outside the shop. 

“Yeah, I’ve actually got to go.” I say, gesturing to Ash’s car. 

Louis raises an eyebrow then, looking suspicious, says, “Okay, then come over later. We’re having a huge party tonight! If you’re anything like Greg, you’ll love it, Nialler, DLP parties are the best!” 

I’m nothing like Greg, but I don’t tell him that. 

“I, um, I don’t have a car.” I try. 

They share a look and stand up. “Okay then, it’s settled, we’ll pick you up later.” I open my mouth, trying to find another way out of it, but fail to think of anything. They smirk at me simultaneously, knowing that they’ve won. 

“Let us walk you out.” Liam says, not giving me a choice as he throws an arm over my shoulder. 

When we walk out, I stop them in front of Ash’s car and get out from under Liam’s arm. I get into the car quickly, trying to gesture silently to Ashton, telling him to drive away quickly. 

“Wait, Ashton?” Liam calls, loud enough for Ashton to hear through the window.

Ashton’s head jerks up and he grins widely at them, rolling down his window and calling out, “Tommo! Li! How are you, mates?” 

Louis returns Ashton’s large smile and leans in the window, right over me. “We’re good! Just finished talking to Nialler here about joining DLP.” 

I nearly scoff out loud at that. 

Ashton laughs loudly, “Well, lads, you’ll have to fight me for him. A right cutie we’ve got here.” 

“Ash.” I groan, rubbing my face to hide my blush. 

The boys all laugh. “Well Ash we’re having a party over at DLP tonight and we’re coming to pick him up. You should come with.” Liam suggests. 

“Sounds sick, mate. How ‘bout I just bring Ni over in my car, save you the trouble.” Ashton offers, elbowing me a little bit. 

Louis and Liam look at each other and shrug, “Sure.” Liam says, “But be sure to find us, Niall, as soon as you get there.” 

Louis, Liam, and Ashton finish catching up soon after that.

As Ashton starts the car I call, “Um thanks,” not really sure what I was thanking them for. 

Louis and Liam smile at me cockily and nod, “No problem, babe.” Liam says. 

Louis calls over his shoulder as he and Liam walk away, “See you tonight!” 

* * * *  
“So, tell me once more how you got two of the roughest guys from one of the most popular frats in London to invite you to a party after minutes of knowing you?” Luke asks, lying on Ashton’s bed. 

Luke was Ashton’s best friend. They came all the way from Australia to London for uni together and were basically inseparable since primary school. Luke lived across the hall from us, which meant he was never far away. 

“Well, if anyone could do it, it would be Niall.” Ashton points out. 

Luke nods his head in agreement.

“No. It’s because my brother probably asked them to hang out with his loser little brother who can’t make his own friends.” I say, groaning. 

Luke gives me a sympathetic look, but scowls over at Ashton, “I just don’t want you guys hanging out with them.” 

Ashton laughs, “Sorry, dad, but we’re still going.” 

“Those guys are no good, Ashton.” Luke says, glaring at him. When Ashton laughs at that Luke sits up, glaring harder. “They’re dangerous, Ashton, you know that.” 

My head whips towards Luke. “Wait, what? Dangerous?” 

Ashton glowers at Luke before he looks at me and his gaze softens. “They won’t hurt you, Niall. Luke just means that certain people from DLP have done certain bad things before.” 

“Like what?” I ask nervously. “Was my brother involved?” Ashton and Luke share uneasy looks. “I’m not a child, guys, you can tell me.” 

Luke sighs, “It doesn’t matter, Ni, I just don’t think you should go to the party.” 

“Please, you’re just butt-hurt cause’ you weren’t invited.” Ashton scoffs, and I understand that they think they’re tricking me into changing the subject. 

I notice, but I decide not to tell them that. 

“Niall doesn’t even want to go, Ash!” Luke complains. 

“Well, Niall’s unsocial, we have to make him do some things.”

“Well, Niall is right here!” I say, standing up from my bed, a little angry. 

Luke sits back on the bed finally noticing me, “You’re right, I’m sorry, Ni.” He apologizes, a guilty look on his face. 

Ashton walks over so that he’s in front of the closet, “So, what should Niall wear tonight?”  
* * * *

When Louis and Liam had said that the party was going to be huge, it was an understatement. 

I could hear the electronic music pounding clearly from the outside lawn, where there were already tons of people strewn about. 

I began to back up and make my way back to the car, but then Ashton was gripping my arm and dragging me forward into the house, completely against my will. I stumbled into the door Ashton pushed me through, and was immediately stunned by the amount of people that were stuffed in the medium-sized fraternity house. Through an archway in the back I could see a darker room, where neon lights were flashing through. Next to that there was a throng of people stumbling their way up the stairs, each of them with obvious intentions to make it to a bedroom with their partner. There were people on the couch, all either smoking something, drinking alcohol, or making out with the nearest person. I gave a nervous look back towards Ashton, only to find that he wasn’t there. 

Great. 

There was no way that I would be able to find Ashton now, let alone Liam or Louis, who were my only real ties to anybody in this house. Suddenly, I was pushed forward again by a random person, which started me off on my way of shoving past others, trying to make it to an emptier space. 

I finally made my way to the back, through the archway where the music was coming from. There was a bar-like set up along one side while the other half was being used as some type of dance floor. From what I could see the dancing was nothing more than various renditions of grinding and jumping. I finally make it to the quieter and emptier area of the bar, and grip the table in my hands tightly, trying to calm myself down. 

It’s alright.

It’s alright. 

I feel someone’s hand on my back and I swing around, hand ready to karate chop any perverts in the vicinity. 

“Woah, woah, Niall. Calm down.” Liam laughs heartily. 

I let out a sigh of relief, “Sorry, I just… I thought you were…” 

Liam interrupts me with a low chuckle, “Some drunk creep, I understand.” He leans a little closer to me. He hasn’t yet removed his hand from my back and I can feel him pulling me closer to him. 

“Um.” I muter, trying to back up a little, but Liam continues to smile at me innocently. 

“So, Ni-“ Liam cuts off abruptly, looking at something over my shoulder. I crane my neck to see what he’s looking at and I’m instantly drawn to the tall, brooding man who’s glaring at Liam from the other side of the room. The second I make eye contact with the man, Liam releases me. “Shite.” He whispers, almost violently, and he shoves away from the bar, basically running from the room. 

I stand at the bar, a little shell-shocked for a moment. When Liam’s completely cleared the room, I turn back around to meet the tall man’s gaze again. Now he was stood a little more in the light and I tried to hide my gasp. He was absolutely gorgeous. He was even taller than I had originally thought, looking ridiculously attractive with a smirk on his face and a crazy mess of brown hair on his head. He had on a red flannel paired with destroyed black skinny jeans and biker boots and I know right away that this is the type of boy I should stay away from. His eyes are relaxed, staring hungrily at something with obvious lust in his eyes.

His dark and dangerous aura is striking and I immediately want to look away, but his gaze holds mine. He slowly mouths the words, “Come here.” And I look around and behind me to see who he’s talking to, but there’s no one else paying attention. When I look back at him, he’s smirking, a glint of humor dashing through his eyes. “Yeah, you.” He mouths, and I’m pretty sure he means me. I uncomfortably smile at him and with a shake of my head, turn away from him, hoping that he would move onto his next target. 

My panic was still at a medium as I conveyed the absolutely packed frat house, not seeing anyone I knew in the near vicinity. I was about to move from my place at the bar, but an arm around the front of my waist and breath against my neck stops me. “I thought I told you to come over.” A slow, husky voice whispers in my ear. I physically shudder and try to turn around (even though I already know who it is), but the arm against my waist keeps me in place. “What’s your name, beautiful?” He asks, lips against my ear. 

His hands begin to creep below my belt and I whimper, “N-Niall.” 

I’m suddenly turned around in the tall strangers arms and am met face to face with the gorgeous, intimidating man. Danger practically radiated from him, everything about him warning me away. “Hi Niall.” He said, a vicious smile on his perfect face, he leaned in closely, pushing his nose into my cheek and inhaling slowly, “You’re mine now.” 

I gasp lowly as I look into his green eyes, my head tilted at an uncomfortable angle because of his height. “W-what?” I stutter once more. 

Harry chuckles lowly. “You’re mine.” He repeats, his voice lowering into a growl as he pushed me against the bar so that I was trapped between him and the hard wood. 

“I d-don’t understand?” I say fearfully as he pushes the hair that’s falling onto my forehead back into its soft quiff. 

He pushes his forehead against mine, warm breath fanning over my face, “Let me see if I can explain.” His low voice rasps. 

He nips playfully at my ear first, before trailing down my neck and finding my soft spot within seconds. I whine as he begins sucking and biting my neck, making a bruise that wouldn’t be easy to hide with a sweater. He continued to explore my struggling body with his hands as he marked me, going from tugging on my soft hair to gripping my ass in record speeds. 

Moments later, I had given up trying to get away, letting him dominate me as I helplessly moaned at his attack on my neck. He pulls away then, a satisfied look on his face. “There. Now everyone will know that you belong to me.” He smirks down at me, my mouth dropping open in surprise. He laughs lightly at my face and nuzzles my new hickey, “Do you understand now, love?” When I don’t answer immediately, the man (who’s name I still didn’t know) pulls me closer to him, “Come on, princess, I won’t bite… at least not until this one heals up a little bit.” He says, brushing his hand over the painful patch on my neck. 

“I- I don’t.” I sputter, wondering why I can’t speak clearly tonight. 

The stranger rolls his eyes, “I want you.” He says simply. “It’s honestly not that hard to comprehend.”

My eyes are bugged out, my breaths heaving in fear and anticipation, “Why m-me?”

“It’s obvious isn’t it?” He asks incredulously. “Look at you. You’re innocent and… well, you were untouched.” He smirks touching my newly acquired hickey once more, “Until now.” 

“Innocent?” I ask, scrunching my nose. I wasn’t innocent. 

He narrows his eyes, “You’re doing it right now.” He says, poking the crease between my eyebrows. “It’s that ridiculously cute hair and the big jumper and you’re just so pure.” He growls fervently, “And I want to _ruin_ you.” 

I shiver in his arms, my entire body telling me to let him. 

He drops his head down to my neck again, brushing his lips from my collarbone to my ear, whispering, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

“N-no.” I say, hating how unsure and nervous I sounded. 

He laughed melodically, “You sure about that, love? Cause to me, it certainly feels like-“

“Niall!” I gasp in relief as the man’s head jerks from my neck to glare at whoever was interrupting us. It’s Ashton, Liam, and Louis.

“Ash.” I say, my voice raspy and surprised. I attempt to shove my way out of the stranger’s arms, but he just raises an eyebrow at me. He turns so that we’re both facing Ashton, his arm still tight around my waist. I see all of their eyes go straight to the large bruise on my neck and Louis stifles a gasp. 

“Styles, we didn’t know you were back.” Louis says tightly, looking angry and worried all at once. 

‘Styles’ scoffs. “I know, I guess that’s why Liam thought he could infringe on my territory.” The man holding me gives a fake smile to the boys. “But I’m sure it won’t happen again, right Liam?” 

Liam’s head drops at that, “Right.” He mutters. 

“Well, I think I’ve staked my claim well enough, don’t you agree, my little Nialler?” He asks, a bit mockingly. I nod my head silently, praying that he’ll just leave me alone now. 

He smirks at me and suddenly grabs my phone from my jeans pocket. I gasp a little, “hey-“ He hands me my phone back before I can even finish protesting. 

He grabs my face in both of his calloused hands and pulls it up. “I’m Harry, by the way.” He says lowly as he begins to bite at my jaw. He only does this for a minute before continuing and running his nose down my throat and biting at my sore bruise. I whimper a little, torn between pushing him away and pushing his head back into my neck. He then detaches himself from me efficiently and quickly, briskly walking away throwing back a, “See you tomorrow, love.” to me. He then stops unexpectedly at the doorway saying, “Oh and Ashton, I trust that you’ll be careful with my things, yeah? Get him home safe and sound for me.”


	2. Think of this as punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if these updates are slow, but please keep in mind that I’m in school and I write decently long chapters (at least, these chapters are longer than the school essays I write (haha)). Plus I have 2 other stories to tend to and I have kind of been neglecting them in favor of this one. Before I work on the third chapter of this one, I have to write a chapter for my other Narry story, “Things Money Can’t Buy.” Soooo you should all check it out! :) Thank you guys so much for all of the positive support!

Once Harry had left us in the bar area, Liam and Louis had did nothing more than give me sympathetic looks before they walk off, looking a bit dejected. As I watch them walk off, I feel myself begin to shake. I think Ashton is trying to talk to me, but all I can hear is the pounding of my heart and the rush of blood in my ears. I’m standing in front of Ashton, heaving breaths with tears gathering in my eyes when I realize that I didn’t take my pills. 

_‘That must be it’_ I think as I feel myself follow Ashton’s outside of the fraternity house. _‘I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.’_ I repeat in my head, creating a mantra to keep myself from going into a full on panic attack. 

The ride home was terrible and awkward and I hated every second of it. Ashton was looking at me like he killed my cat, apologizing and cursing the whole way back to our dorms. My breaths were coming easier now but the crushing, suffocating feeling in my chest didn’t diminish. The logical side of my brain kept reminding me that I just need to get home, sleep and remember to take my pills tomorrow, but the rest of my body was suffering from a complete break down. 

I feel the tears start to fall from my eyes and I angrily wipe them with my oversized jumper’s sleeve. 

I hate parties and I hate my so-called friends who forced me into going to that fraternity. I hate my anxiety and I hate myself for being such a wimp. I hate uni and I hate Greg for making me come here. 

How did he think I would be able to do this alone? I had barely made it when he left for college. Now I’m completely alone in a town full of people who don’t know anything about me. People who don’t know that on some days, if someone touches me, I might have a full-scale panic attack. People who don’t know that sometimes, I won’t talk for days because the voice inside my head is telling me that if I do, I’ll say something stupid and everyone will hate me for it. People who don’t get it; who don’t get me. 

I don’t notice when we get home, and I jump when Ashton shakes me, “Niall. Calm down. I promise, everything’s going to be fine.” 

He tries to help me out of the car, but I gasp out, “Don’t!” And I get out on my own, making sure not to make eye contact with him. 

Just- not right now. 

Ashton gives me a confused look and I know. I know he doesn’t understand me. I know he doesn’t see me take my pills every morning and I know he thinks I’m just shy. 

That’s how I want it to be. 

He shrugs it off and we make our way into our room. I sit on my bed and swing my legs over the side, my feet almost brushing the floor. I hear Ashton sigh and leave the room, followed by a loud banging and a “Luke!” from across the hall. 

Luke then trudges into our room, an annoyed look on his face. “Why the hell am I here?” 

Ashton walks in behind him with a guilty look on his face. “Ni, can you- um… show him?” 

I’m confused for a second until I remember and suddenly the pulsing pain on my neck is more prominent. My hands quiver as I pull my shirt over my head and lean my head back. 

Luke gasps, “What the fuck happened?“

“Harry Styles.” Ashton answers. 

Luke’s eyes widen in complete shock. “Of course.” He says, his voice dangerously low. “Of fucking course, Ash,” He begins as he turns and glares at Ashton, who looks like his guilt is eating him alive, “I fucking told you so.”

****  
The morning is rough. 

I take my pills this time, as soon as I wake up, not wanting a repeat of yesterdays near panic attack. 

Ashton had woken me up this morning, telling me that he thought it would be best if he drove me to class, and that I should wait for him to pick me up later that day. A few hours later, just before my class, Luke surprisingly joins us at our door, glaring hard at Ashton, ready to come with us. I feel terrible knowing that I was the reason that Luke was angry with Ashton. I tried to convince them that they didn’t need to walk me to class out of pity, but the wouldn’t listen to me. 

Just like everyone else in my life. 

Ashton, Luke, and I had just walked out the door when we heard the distant rumbling of a motorcycle. I rolled my eyes at Ashton’s excited gasp and quick head turn, knowing that he’d always wanted a motorcycle of his own. But, he swiftly turns his head back, making eye contact with Luke and whispering, “Shit.”

I turn back just as the rumbling, which had gotten very close to us very quickly, cuts off. My gaze is met with a smirking Harry Styles, wearing the same ripped black skinny jeans and biker boots, but this time paired with a large white tee and several necklaces. Luke nudges me and I realize that I’m blatantly staring at Harry. I blush and center my gaze to my shoes, scuffing them against the pavement a little. I feel Ashton and Luke both shoulder past me so that they’re in front of me a little, “What do you want, Styles?” Luke spits. 

Harry scoffs, “I want Niall, which has nothing to do with you, Aussie 2.0.” He raises an eyebrow towards Luke. 

Luke gapes at him, “Excus-“

“Sod off, Harry, Niall’s with us, alright?” Ashton says, gesturing towards me. “You’ve had your fun with him, now back off.”

Harry’s eyes narrow at Ashton. “You don’t know a thing about what I’ve with him, and it’s you who needs to back off.” He says, getting off of his bike. “Also, stop talking about him like he isn’t here.” 

Ashton huffed and rolled his eyes and continued to argue with Harry.

Luke, at least, has the decency to look apologetic about it, sending me a reassuring smile.

I, on the other hand, was astonished. He just stood up for me. A guy that, according to everyone’s reaction to his name, was 110% bad news had just said the one thing that I had been trying to get through everyone’s head since day one. I was staring at Harry, an awed look on my face when I was suddenly startled out of my thoughts by a sudden yell.

It was Ashton. “Niall doesn’t even want you around him, Styles!” 

“Did he tell you that?” Harry asks, calm as ever. 

Ashton is thrown off for a second and gives him a confused look, “Tell me what?”

“That he didn’t want me.” Harry asks, tilting his head along with his trademark smirk. Ashton’s silent, seemingly going through our recent conversations in his head. Ashton’s eyes widen and he turns to look at me, question clear in his gaze. Ashton’s confused look and silence seem to answer Harry’s question for him. “That’s what I thought. Come on then, princess.” He says, smiling at me and patting the motorcycle lightly.

“He is not riding on that motorcycle.” Luke grabs my arm and continues to drag me down the sidewalk, Ashton joining us as we started on our way to the dorm’s parking lot.

“Hey!” Harry yells out, but Luke doesn’t stop or let go of me. Suddenly, we’re both jerked from behind, Harry’s hand gripped around Luke’s shoulder, the intimidating British boy towering over Luke with a glare on his face. “What if Niall wants to ride with me, huh?” 

“He doesn’t.” Luke and Ashton say simultaneously, not even bothering to spare me a glance.

I had always wanted to ride on a motorcycle, but like always, I keep my mouth shut.

Harry’s eyes narrow, “Well, I don’t think I saw you ask him so how in the hell would you two wankers know?” 

Luke turns to me slightly, tilting his eyebrows as if to say, _‘well, tell him!’_

Harry takes a step back and reaches out one of his hands, open for me to grab. I give Luke and Ashton a lasting look, honestly considering their warnings. But Harry was the one who was taking my opinion into consideration and acting like he genuinely cared about what I wanted, while my “friends” were just telling me what to do all the time. Even back in Ireland, though there weren’t many people I’d consider my friends (or even distant acquaintances), no one ever asked me how I felt about situations. In fact, when was the last time anyone asked me my opinion other than this crazy, dangerous boy that everyone (including my own brain) was telling me to stay away from? 

I lightly place my small hand in Harry’s large one, and I feel him grip it tightly as he simpers and walks me over to his motorcycle. 

“W-what?” Luke sputters as Ashton just gapes at me. I find myself nearly as surprised as them. Well, sometimes my pills made me make stupid decisions. 

Harry gets on the bike and revs his engine, instructing me, “Sit behind me and take this.” He says, handing me a helmet. 

“Um- wh-where’s yours?” I ask, once again cursing my inability to talk around him. 

He gives me a side-glance and smirks at me. “I’m not quite as breakable as you, darling.” He takes the helmet from my hands and puts it over my head, grinning at me, “Hell, you’re still absolutely perfect.” He says lowly as he buckles it, and I don’t know if I was supposed to hear him so I don’t respond. He then grabs my arms and wraps them around his hard, muscled stomach, “Hold tight, love.” 

Harry revs the engine once more, and I hold on for dear life. I barely hear him over the engine as he clearly calls to Ashton and Luke, who are still looking on with absolute shock, “See lads, at least Niall knows who he belongs to. I suggest you begin to accept it before I get annoyed with your ignorance.” Harry says politely, but anyone can tell that it’s a threat. I bury my head in his back and wonder what the hell I’m getting myself into. 

The drive to the annex building is so quick that I don’t even realize when we get there. Harry chuckles and says, “Not that I’m not enjoying the hug, love, but we’re here.” I blush and pull away from him, and attempt to take the helmet off myself, only to get my hands slapped away. “Let me.” He mutters, undoing the straps and pulling it off. It’s bright outside the helmet and I squint my eyes. He smiles gently at me, pulling me up and off the motorcycle. He then pushes me against the parked bike and pushes his cheek against mine. I can hear his breathing in my ear and I clutch his shoulders as he nuzzles his nose up against mine in a surprisingly sweet eskimo kiss. He then moves up and nips at the tip of my nose lightly, making me squeal slightly and blush. He grins at me and takes my hands, pulling me along and into the building where I suddenly realize. “Hey, um, wait.” 

He stops. 

“How did you know my classes where in here?” I ask, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

Harry smiled. “I know people.” 

A-and why are you coming with me?” I ask, trying to keep my composure. 

He raises an eyebrow. “You know, got to keep an eye on my belongings and all that.”

I stare at him with wide eyes but he does nothing but chuckle and continues to drag me down the hall. “But don’t you have class?” I inquire.

“You ask a lot of questions, huh?” He says, giving me a grim sort of look. 

I blanch. “O-oh. Sorry.” My pills made me ask dumb questions sometimes too.

“No, no, love, don’t apologize. You just ask a lot of questions for a shy person like yourself.”

“I’m not shy.” I mutter, technically telling the truth. 

Harry laughs, “Princess, you’re blushing more than half of the time I’m around you and you barely speak according to the people around here.” 

I stick my lower lip out in a pout and whisper, “Maybe I’ve just decided that the “people around here” aren’t worth my words.”

“Well, then I’d agree with you.” Harry snickers, “The people around here are absolute shite. Minus myself, of course.” 

I don’t know how to respond to that, so I don’t. Harry looks down at me with a grin, bumping me lightly. I look back up at him, only for a second before my eyes shoot back down to our feet. 

He bumps me again, but this time he leaves his arm around my waist.

We walk into the corridor my classroom is in a few minutes early, and I peek at Harry once more, wanting to ask what he’s going to do when my class starts. 

_‘Haven’t you bothered him enough with your questions?’ that_ voice hisses and I decide not to say anything. 

Harry opens the door and motions for me to go in, and I thank him, expecting him to leave. My favorite teacher, Professor Beckham is already there, giving me a kind smile as I walk in. 

“Hello then Niall, A bit early today?”

I give him a small smile and a nod, “Hi. And- yeah… I- I guess so.” I walk to a desk near the front and nearly jump out of my skin when I feel a hand on my lower back.

“Christ, love, calm down,” Harry’s deep voice chuckles. 

“S-sorry, I just- I- um thought you left.” I let out a nervous laugh, eyes flickering to Mr. Beckham, who’s watching us closely. 

Harry follows my gaze to the professor and he scowls. “Hey, David, how’s it going?” He calls, his greeting sounding none too friendly. I nearly gasp at his rude behavior towards the professor, wondering why Harry’s attitude changed so quickly.

Professor Beckham looks at Harry with an unimpressed look. “It’s Professor Beckham, to you, Mr. Styles. I didn’t know you and Niall were friends?”

I open my mouth to answer, but I’m not sure exactly how to respond. Are we friends?

“Isn’t it Mr. Horan to you?” Harry snarks, raising his eyebrows. “Not that I mind, but we wouldn’t want anyone getting any wrong ideas about a student-teacher relationship now would we, Beckham?” He says, his voice carrying a dangerous kind of warning. 

“Harry!” I whisper-yell at him. 

“What? It’s not my fault that he’s been eyeing you like you were _his_.” Harry scoffs, as if it were the most offending thing in the world. 

Mr. Beckham looks like a deer caught in headlights and he begins organizing papers, as if we weren’t even there anymore.

I’m blushing profusely now and I rub my hands against my face. “You- you should go.” I say, my stomach falling as I see other students begin to file in and stare at us. Harry frowns at me. 

“You don’t tell me what to do, Niall.” Harry says, his eyes flashing dangerously. 

“No, he doesn’t, but I do.” Mr. Beckham cuts in, getting in between Harry and myself. “And you’re beginning to be a disruption to my class. I suggest you take heed to Mr. Horan’s advice before I get security to kick you out.” With every word Mr. Beckham says I see Harry begin to seethe more and more. 

I see Harry clench his fists as he makes eye contact with me. I look away immediately and listen to his angry footsteps as he storms away. 

I sigh, trying to avoid eye contact with Mr. Beckham as well. The class begins soon after, but my mind is completely off subject. His music history class is usually one I like, but today I couldn’t make myself pay attention. Every time he made eye contact with me or smiled at me I felt a strange sense of uncomfortableness or guilt. I felt like everyone in the whole class was looking at me all the time and Mr. Beckham was staring at me the whole time and I swear everyone _knew_ and I couldn’t _breathe_.

My hands were shaking again and I felt freezing, even in my jumper. I dug one of my hands in my hair and let the other one tap on my leg. 

As the class ends, Professor Beckham asks me to stay after. Once again, everyone is staring at me and I want to scream and then run away, but of course, I don’t. I feel tears fathering in my eyes as I shuffle up to Mr. Beckham’s desk.

“I didn’t know you were romantically involved with anyone, Niall.” He says, sounding somewhat disappointed. 

I don’t make eye contact as I say simply, “Um- Neither did I, really.” 

He gives me a small laugh and then his faces turns serious again, “Just- erm, be careful with that Styles. He’s a mess, that one.” My professor admits, his tone far from affectionate. 

I give him a nod, “Kay.” I drag my foot against the floor and grip my bag strap tightly. “Is there a-anything else?” 

Mr. Beckham stands from his chair, making me step away from him a bit. “I just wish you had told me, Ni.” He said, sighing.

The uncomfortable feeling is back and I stutter, “W-what?” 

“Oh, come on!” Professor Beckham said, “Niall, you’ve been flirting with me since the start of the year!” 

I gape at him, shaking my head and taking a few steps back. “I’ve- what? I-um- er…” I stumble over any coherent words that are trying to come out. “I have a – uh, I have a- um, Harry. S-sorry.” I stutter, bolting out of the room. 

I run through the door and slam it closed, grabbing the attention of everyone in the hall. I blush hard, trying to ignore the attention, and continue speed walking down the hall. I burst through the main entrance doors of the annex building, almost running at this point. But, as soon as I breach the doors, I’m grabbed and pushed up against the wall. I open my mouth, ready to scream when a hand comes up to cover it. 

“Calm down, Niall!” Liam, the big guy from my brother’s fraternity, hisses at me. 

I gape at him and try to shove him away, “What are you doing? Oh my god!” I whisper angrily against his hand. 

“Shhh!” He says, “Just listen, alright?” He asks, keeping his hand over my mouth. “Ashton’s told me that you went off with Harry and I just have to tell you, Nial-“ 

Suddenly, Liam was thrown off of me. 

Literally _thrown_. 

My knees buckle and I gasp as I fall against the wall. 

Harry.

Of course it’s Harry. 

An animalistic growl left Harry’s mouth. Harry, who had shoved Liam to the ground and is now pinning him there, was simmering with rage. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Harry thunders. “Touching what belongs to _me_?!” Harry throws another punch to Liam’s face. “Niall is _mine_.” He punches Liam again.

“H-harry!” I cry out, not sure what was happening. My mind was reeling and my chest was heaving, trying to get a proper breath out, but my concern for Liam was more important. “He wasn’t h-hurtin’ me!” I say, feeling my accent thicken once more in my panic. “St-stop, please!” 

Harry doesn’t turn to look at me, but his fists loosen. I hear him sigh heavily before letting out a low snarl, “This is strike fucking two, Payne. You do _not_ want to know what happens at strike three.” 

With those words, he leaves Liam moaning on the concrete ground. I go to help him, falling forward onto my knees, but Harry grabs me from under my arms and pulls me up. He proceeds to roughly half carry-half drag me to the car park, where he finds his own wall to push me up against. 

I let out another gasp and wince at the brick that’s scraping into my back. I watch his eyes, which have become dark with anger in contrast to this morning when they were alight with humor. “H-har-“ I try. 

He grunts and pushes himself against me, and I’m stuck in between the bricks and his hard body. He drags his nose lightly along my neck and begins whispering in my ear, “Do you always have this many guys all over you?” He pushes one of his legs between mine and grabs at my wrists. “Of course you do. You’re perfect, Princess.” He growls, biting my ear and holding my wrists down against the brick. “But you’re _mine_ now. Why don’t they see that?” 

I shake my head, not sure if he wanted me to respond. 

He pulls back to look me in the eyes. “That teacher. He wants you, Niall.” Harry says lowly. I try to break eye contact, the embarrassment reddening my cheeks. “Do you want him back, love?” Harry asks, but his words were full of venom. 

I heave a shaky breath and then respond, “N-no, Harry, c-course not.” I say, my voice almost a whisper. 

Harry nods. "Good. See you around then, Niall.” He says, walking away from me. “Oh, and love, remember to stay away from other boys. You know who you belong to.” He smirks. 

He gets on his motorcycle and revs the engine, and I let out a small yelp as i remember he's my ride, “Wait!” But he just shakes his head. 

“Think of this as punishment, darling. Flirting with other boys and then trying to tell me what to do?” Harry chastises. “Naughty boy.” He teases, a devilish look on his face. He then speeds away, effectively abandoning me. I slide down the wall he had just pinned me against, my chest filling with anxiety. It was about 6:30, meaning that the sun was just beginning to set. I feel tears prick at my eyes and I try to control my breathing. I contemplate calling Ashton but then I remember everything I did to him earlier and I bang my head against the wall. Ashton and Luke probably hated me now. I didn’t have any other friends at uni and I there was no way I would ever get on the tube. I could barely be in the car without feeling claustrophobic. I feel a sob creeping up when I pull out my phone, dialing Greg’s number. 

The line goes straight to voicemail and the second I hear his voice on the recorder, I can’t control my tears anymore. The line beeps and I inhale shakily, “Hey Greg.” I say and curse the way my voice shakes. “We haven’t talked since the day I came here and- I just- I” I sniffle and let another sob loose, “I hate it, Greg.” I whimper. “I miss you and I hate it.” I shake my head as if he can see me. “Sorry for calling.” I say. “Just- sorry.” I say and quickly hang up. I already bother him enough.

 _’you shouldn’t have called’_ the terrible voice in my head mutters and I agree with it. 

I bring my legs up to my chest and am about to start hyperventilating when I hear it. 

“Oi! Mate, you alright?” A voice asks, sounding closer than I had expected. 

My head shoots up and even though it’s getting dark, I can see the outline of strong arms and a short quiff. For a terrifying moment, I think it’s Liam, but then I remember the voice and the accent is completely different. “I’m okay.” I croak, and I try to stand to prove it. Only, I didn’t quite make it and suddenly the strong arms are helping me up.

“Ya don’t really seen to me okay.” The boy says, and now that he’s close I think I can recognize his rugged features. “Do you need a ride, mate” He asks and I take a step away from him. 

“I- um… I don’t ride with strangers.” I say, feeling every bit as childish and stupid as I sound. 

The boy laughs. “Oh- um. We aren’t strangers. I mean- well, we live in the same dorm.” He smiles a little awkwardly. “I’m not surprised you don’t recognize me. My name’s Josh Devine. You’re Niall, right?” 

When I hear his name I finally recognize him. He’s Luke’s roommate. “O-oh, I do know who you are. I’m- uh… I’m sorry.” I say, feeling bad that I didn’t notice him much before. 

“No problem, bro. C’mon, let me give you a ride back.” Josh says, and I go with him gladly, sticking close to his side. 

The car ride back isn’t nearly as awkward or terrible as car rides usually go for me, especially with a person I didn’t know. Josh turned out to be really funny and we liked the same music and he didn’t try to touch me or anything. 

When we get to the dorm, Josh parks and I’m quick to thank him, “Honestly, Josh, thank you so much.” 

“That’s alright, Ni.” He says with a confident smile. “We should hang out more.” He suggests and I beam at him. 

“Yeah.” I agree, nodding shyly. 

I’m walking into the dorm when Josh calls from the car, “Just putting it out there, Niall, my sister used to have panic attacks all the time, man. You know there’s medicine for it right?”

I stop in my tracks and try to give him another smile, but I think it comes out as a grimace. “Thanks. Yeah, I know.” 

Josh smiles once more and I rush into the building, wishing I had never gone to university.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys approve! Remember that comments and kudos’ make me work faster ;) thanks for reading everyone!


	3. Harry, Harry, Harry

I wipe tears from my eyes as I sullenly walk into the silent and dark dorm room. _’How did Josh know? Am I that obvious? Does everyone know?’_ Thankfully, my room is empty, which means I don’t have to deal with Ashton or Luke just yet. I drop onto the bed and sigh heavily, rubbing my sore eyes. I shake my head to clear the murky thoughts away, and stand up to get my pajamas on, knowing that there’s no way I could go out in public and be around people after a near episode like that. I ignore the rumbling of my stomach. _You can’t go out after that, you’ve gotten over the hunger before_ I agree with the voice once more. Being hungry is a better option than going out and letting people judge the worried looking Irish kid that’s wandering around and eating too much. I’m pulling on one of Greg’s old large sweatshirts when all of a sudden, there’s a frantic, loud knocking on my door. My eyes shift to the door as my chest fills with the impending anxiety that’s always looking for an opportunity to escape. My brain reels as I walk towards the door, which is still getting assaulted by someone’s fist, wondering who it could be. 

I unlock the door and open it, not completely surprised when I’m met with dark green eyes and ripped skinny jeans. I don’t say anything as he pushes me lightly through the door, walking inside and pushing me along with him. I end up with my back against the wardrobe, shivering as his nose presses into my hair. “Niall.” Harry states lowly, a touch of annoyance in his voice and that tiny, ounce of a brave side that I have wants to slap him. _the stupid side_ the malicious voice reminds me. 

I bring my hands up to make him keep his distance, and though I’m too weak to stop his hands from moving my own away, I triumph myself in the surprised look he gives me. “Niall.” He repeats. “Where were you?”

That tiny brave side of myself resurfaces, wanted to scoff and laugh in his face. But, the anxiety is always in control, so I end up just shaking my head, stuttering, “You… you left me behind a-and it was getting dark… and I-I’m scared of the dark.” 

Harry’s eyes soften and he shakes his own head. “Niall.” He says for the third time. “I was trying to mess around with you. I just drove around the block.” He raises his eyebrow, but doesn’t yet distance himself from me. “Imagine my surprise when I turn the corner, and you’re gone.” Harry gives me a grim and somewhat wounded look. “I was _worried_.” He laughs bitterly and pushes away from me, hand running through his hair roughly. “Me! The Harry Styles! I was _worried_ about some random Irish twink with self esteem issues! What even is that?” He asks, sitting on my bed, his head in his hands. 

I try to push down the hurt that his words. “I-I don’t know…”

Harry lets out a small surprised chuckle. “It was a rhetorical question, princess.” I stay against the wardrobe, not wanting to make any sudden movements. Harry looks up at my frozen stance and rolls his eyes. “Listen, love, you’ll be spending a lot of time with me whether you like it or not, so you might as well start getting comfortable with having me around.” 

I relax against the dresser, feeling a little embarrassed. “Sorry.” I whisper. 

Harry grins at that and walks towards me. I stiffen up, but then remember his words and try to slacken my muscles. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. “You’re so sweet, love.” He says, his hand cupping the back of my neck. He presses his forehead against my own for a split second before pulling away. “Come on then, let’s go.” 

He takes my hand in his, his large hand once again encasing my tiny one. “Where?” I ask, trying to keep my sentences short so I could contain the stutter that seemed to arise with Harry’s presence. 

Harry looks at me as he begins to pull me out of the door, “To get food.” Harry says simply, but I pull against him, shaking my head. He tilts his own head at my rejection, “What is it, Niall?” He asks sincerely, and I think that he’s trying to make me more comfortable with him. 

I struggle to keep the shake out of my voice as I explain, “I- I don’t want to.” I try to sound confident and clear as I say it, but it comes out like a question and I cringe. 

Harry, on the other hand, gives me a wide smile, praising me. “Alright then. Good, princess, you’re learning.” He closes the door to my dorm and drags me over to the bed. He flops down on the bed, and then continues to pull me so that we’re chest to chest. My eyes are as wide as saucers and I blush hard at the contact. Harry cackles at my expression, “ _So_ innocent.”

Right as Harry was opening his mouth to make another comment, my phone buzzes in my sweatshirt pouch. I go to pick it up, but Harry’s free hand grips my wrist. “Don’t.” He says softly, the word sounding like a command. I look down to see that it’s Greg who’s calling, and once again the brave side of me flares up, telling me to answer the phone. I hold my breath as I decline one of Greg’s calls for the first time ever. Harry smiles. “Good.” He says once more.

I don’t have the nerve to respond, so he ends up continuing, “If you don’t want to go out, then what do you want to do?”

I shift nervously in my position on top of him, so he places his arm over me, moving my body into a comfortable position. “We can- um, just hang out in here and watch Netflix?” I suggest the one thing that I’ve done almost every night of my college experience. 

Harry smiles, “Best plan ever, babe.” 

I hide my blush in the crook of his neck, and he cranes it, placing his head against my hair.  
* * * *  
A few hours later, Harry and I are still on the bed. A discarded, empty pizza box and dirty plates are on the floor, but for the first time in a long time, my OCD isn’t driving me crazy. I’m almost unsettled at the amount of calm that Harry’s brought me in the past hours. My anxiety had never been this dormant before I met him and this thought itself brought a new onslaught of fear into my head. It must be the way that he cares about my opinion, seeing as no one else had done anything like that for me before. Along with this new sense of security, I also began opening up to Harry throughout the night. I had even laughed a few times at his stupid jokes. I ignored Greg’s calls 3 more times, and by the last time of Harry telling me not to pick up, I felt no guilt for pressing the red decline button. 

While I’m caught up in my thoughts, the movie we were watching, Ratatouille, ends and Harry turns to me in the small bed. “I can’t believe I let you convince me to watch that.” 

I give him an offended look. “It’s a good movie.” 

Harry rolls his eyes and closes my laptop, setting it on the bedside table. He gets off the bed and I grab his hand subconsciously, afraid that he’s going to leave. He looks down at his arm and raises an eyebrow at me, and I sheepishly let go of my grasp. “S-sorry... I just- where- are you leaving?” I ask, stuttering for what feels like the first time tonight. 

Harry chuckles a little bit, “No, love. I just don’t sleep in my jeans.” He shamelessly pulls his jeans off right in front of me. I clap my hands over my eyes in an attempt to give him privacy. I hear him laugh again, but I ignore it. 

I feel hands on my own and Harry slowly uncovers my eyes, pulling my hands to my lap. I try to conceal my gasp at his body. 

He’s about as tanned as a Londoner can be, tattoos scattered along his abs and chest and his legs are strong and muscled. He’s still wearing his boxers and I almost let out a breath of relief. I’m not ready for that yet. 

My face heats and I look away, getting off the bed. “You’re allowed to look, princess.” He says, the humor still light in his voice. I turn and look at him. “Alright.” I say, despite my heart beat banging against my chest, “But, you’re not.” I clarify, my hands playing with the hem of my sweater. 

He looks confused and then disappointed. “Love, come on, we aren’t pre-teens.” 

I glare at my feet, feeling ridiculously insecure. I don’t look at him as I walk over to the light switch and click it off, making the room completely dark. I then rush to take off my clothes, trying to find my pajamas in my drawer when the light clicks back on. I let out a squeal and try to cover myself. I was only in my briefs, trying to cover myself with a random, small towel I had grabbed in my rush. I look over to see Harry unabashedly checking me out. He lets out a breathy, “Fuck…” and walks over to me slowly. 

“Harry.” I warn, not wanting him near my pale, weak body. 

“Princess, you have no reason to be ashamed.” He says, rubbing his hands up and down my cold, not-muscled arms. I want to shove him away from me, but his hot breath against my ear is too convincing. The height difference (and just overall difference) between us is now completely on display, my small, pale body contrasting his tall muscled body. “You’re beautiful.” Harry whispers, breaking me out of my self-assessment. I scoff at this, trying to turn away, but he grabs my chin and forces my eyes to his. “I mean it, love.” 

I just nod this time, not wanting to argue. He takes a step away from my shivering form and grabs his own discarded t-shirt. “Wear this.” He says, and I do, because Harry thinks I’m beautiful and I’m cold. His shirt doesn’t smell bad like I thought it might. It smelled like deodorant and nature and a little bit like me. It goes down to my mid-thigh and once again I’m reminded of our differences. 

I stand by my bed, keeping my eyes away from his nearly naked body. “So- um… you’re sleeping here?” 

Harry lets out a snicker. “Yep.” He nods, heading over to turn off the light switch. 

“Alright- uh, I can sleep on the floor.” I say, nodding to myself. 

Harry full out laughs at that, and basically tackles me to the bed. The bed is against the wall, so I end up with my back against the wall and the rest of my body curled around Harry’s. I let out a breath, and laugh a little bit. “This works too.” I whisper. 

Harry hums in agreement, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me even closer, inhaling my scent. He bites my neck lightly and smiles against it, “You smell like me.” 

I laugh at the absurdity of this all. 

His chest rumbles, biting down on the forgotten hickey that he had made just the night before. I whimper at that and he stops, pulling away from my neck. He takes his hands and brings one up to my cheek, the other weaving into my hair. He chuckles, his warm breath hitting my face, “So innocent.” He says with a shake of his head. “Have you even been kissed, Princess?” he asks, his forehead leaning against mine. I whine, not completely sure if it’s a good or bad noise, and shake my head no. Harry’s eyes bug out of his head and he jerks back. “Wait- you’re _seventeen_ and you’ve never been kissed?”

I blush hard and feel my bottom lip quivering. Tears form in my eyes as I stutter to try and justify myself. “I- I mean, no one’s ever t-tried a-a-”

“No, no, love, I didn’t mean it like that." Harry cuts me off, kissing my temple, “It’s a good thing.” 

I try to stop from crying, “Yeah?” I mutter, not really believing him. 

Harry pulls up so he can look me in the eyes, “Yeah, love. It means I’m going to be your first kiss.” He says. 

My eyes widen and I go to sit up, “Really?” 

He laughs. “Not now, love. I’ve got to make it good. First kisses are important, princess.”

I laugh this time. “Cheesy.” I say and Harry nods in agreement. 

“With you, sure.” 

* * * *  
The next morning is bad. 

I wake up curled against a man I don’t remember and my head is pounding. My chest is painfully thumping, and the voice is telling me ‘ _get out get out get out_ ’ and suddenly I _need_ my pills and im scrambling out of bed, almost trambling the guy in my bed _Harry_ my head provides _It’s Harry, stop freaking out. Harry will help. Harry will help._ I think I hear him call my name but I’m too busy destroying the bathroom in search of my pills. They’re gone. They’re not here. They are _not_ here. My breaths aren’t coming I’m opening my mouth but nothing’s happening. I think I’m dying. This is it. But suddenly, Harry. Harry. Harry. Harry. He’s on his knees in front of me, obviously freaking out he’s asking me whats wrong and what happened but he knows. Somehow he _knows_ and he’s grabbing my shoulders and pressing his head against mine and rocking us back and forth and whispering sweet nothings that I’ll never remember into my ear. I can breathe again and somehow even with his closeness I don’t feel claustrophobic like usual and I’m not dying anymore and it’s because of Harry. 

Harry. Harry. Harry. 

I open my eyes and I’m met with green. Green eyes and messy brown hair and a deep voice asking, “What do you need, love? I’m right here, are you alright?” 

I shake my head and beg, “Pills.” 

Harry’s eyes widen a little and he nods, trying to get up but I _scream_ and he’s right back in front of me. “Okay.” He says and he just understands and I _want_ him. 

Everything is a haze and I’m stumbling but Harry has me and it’s okay. He leans me against the dresser and helps me into some joggers and his sweatshirt. He pulls on some clothes of his own and snatches something off the dresser and finally, we’re out the door. I don’t stop to ask where Ashton is or why he wasn’t in his bed but I’m glad he wasn’t here to witness what just happened. Harry’s half carrying me and we’re almost running down the hall (well Harry’s walking but my legs are too short). He’s pulled my hood up and I’m glad because everyone’s staring at us and my chest is pounding again. My breaths are labored again as I realize that we’ll have to take the motorcycle but Harry’s one step ahead. He leads me past his motorcycle and straight to Ashton’s car, and I realize that Ashton’s key is what he picked up on the way out. Harry places me in the car and has to detach my hands from his shirt before assuring me. “I’m going to the other side don’t worry. Okay, baby?” I don’t nod but he goes anyway, sprinting around the car and sliding into the driver’s seat. He lets out a shaky breath as he starts the engine, calming himself. 

“Okay, we’re going to the pharmacy, we’re getting your pills. It’ll be okay.” I nod and latch onto Harry’s shirtsleeve once more. 

* * * *  
The drive to the pharmacy was longer than expected, most of the stores were closed because it was early, but they found one on the opposite side of town. By this time, I am on the edge of my seat, both hands latched around Harry’s arm, but 100% calm. When we got the pills from the store Harry had led me out of the store and handed me the bottle. He sighs and puts his hand around my own, looking away and saying. “You can absolutely take the pills if you want, Ni… but if you will let me try, I want to see if I can help you better than the pills.”

My eyes are wide and I want to say no. I want to shove him away and tell him that he’s stupid, nothing can help me _but_ these pills. 

But this is Harry. 

Harry. Harry. Harry. 

So instead of calling him stupid, I put them into his hand and give him my trust. 

* * * *  
Harry and I had been driving for a while now. The city was far behind us, and we were far down a long, windy road that was surrounded by trees. The unfamiliar surroundings should’ve been an immediate panic inducer, but as long as I could see Harry and smell Harry and _touch_ Harry everything was alright.

This new state of mind was unnatural and unhealthy and if it didn’t make everything so much brighter and better then maybe I would’ve been worried about it. I gripped Harry’s hand tighter and he squeezed back and I thought he was supposed to be the bad boy? 

The sun was just beginning to rise when Harry pulled into a circular, gravel lot that was completely empty. Harry got out of the car, jogging over to my side quickly and opening my door. I grasp his hand in my own as he tugs me out of the car and he closes the door by pushing me against it. “Up for a little walk, princess?”

I nod and tuck myself under his arm. He gives me a surprised look and I can tell by his newly suppressed personality that he doesn’t know what to do with my new attitude towards him. He leads us through a small gap in the trees along an even smaller dirt pathway and I can tell that this trail is barely used. The walk is short and leads us through another gap in the tree line out to a small opening. I try to contain my gasp at the sight. Instead of the opening being another lot surrounded by trees like we had been in before, we were the edge of a small cliff. The cliff was boarded off by a sturdy wooden fence, but beyond that was where the real view was. There was no more London, no more cities or people, just a vast expanse of farms and green that painfully reminded me of Ireland. Harry moved forward so I moved along with him. He laughed lightly at my expression and nodded, “Pretty amazing, right?”

I agree before even processing his question. 

“Yeah, I come here when everything gets to be a little much.” Harry lets out a long breath. He turns to face me, pressing me against the fence, “I like you.” He breathes, pressing his nose into my hair, then my cheek, and finally my neck. “Niall.” He says, pressing against me harder and shaking his head, “I _like_ you.”

He pushes away from me, shaking his head and I want to ask him why he says that like it’s a problem. I don’t do that, though, instead I stay where he pressed me against the fence and whisper. “I like you too, Harry.” 

Harry whips around to face me. He doesn’t look surprised, of course he isn’t, and he shakes his head. “But you shouldn’t” He argues. I want to protest, but he’s back in front of me, pinning me to the fence, “I should stay away from you.” He says, his eyes closed, looking frustrated and overtired. “I’m so _bad_ for you, love.” He sighs, opening his eyes to reveal the hard-pressed, stern look in them. He presses his forehead against mine and gives me a small eskimo kiss. I let out a small noise at the sweet gesture and his eyes bolt open, the look on his face turning into one of resolve. “But I don’t give a shit.” He says, and I find myself biting my lip as he growls in my ear, “You’re going to be mine, anyway.”

He pulls away from my ear, making eye contact with me. His breath is mingling with my own now, his head bent down so he could look at me. “I did promise I’d make it special.” He says, his voice low and gravely. He grips my hips, and pulls me up with ease. I let out a squeak as he places me on the fence’s strong flat surface. He slides in between my legs, and I blush seeing that he’s still taller than me. My eyes are flicking from his eyes to his lips and suddenly his arms are secure around my back, keeping me safe and secure against him, my legs are tight around his waist, and his lips are on mine, fireworks shooting off in every direction. My eyes are wide at first, not sure what to do and its awkward because I’m not doing anything, but then Harry’s laughing into my mouth and he grips my neck with one hand. He pulls away and tilts his head slightly, whispering, “Like this.” He then moves forward slowly and connects our lips, and slowly but surely I get the hand of it. I think I like kissing. I like the long ones that Harry controls, slow and calm. But I also like the ones in between, the little pecks where Harry might bite my lower lip softly. I start getting comfortable, kissing Harry on the side of a mountain on a fence when I feel his tongue drag against my lower lip that he was just biting on. I squeal lightly, jerking away quickly. Luckily, Harry’s one step ahead of me and pulls me down into his arms and behind the fence so that I don’t completely fall of the mountain. I gasp a little and laugh along with him. 

“Let’s save French kissing for another day, then, yeah love?” Harry says, a little breathlessly. I nod in agreement, not loving the sound of someone else’s tongue down my throat. Though I guess it wouldn’t be that bad if that someone were Harry. 

Harry’s face is bright and we’re holding hands as he leads us back to his car and my heart is beating comfortably against my chest for the first time in a long time.Maybe I should be worried about the dependency I felt towards Harry. Maybe I should be worried about classes or calling back Greg. 

My brain couldn’t understand the concept of being worried. Not with Harry, who’s holding my hand tightly and telling me that he likes me. Maybe we’ll be fine. Maybe everything will work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooofffffff. 
> 
> Sorry this was un-beta’d and some of it was written in the wee hours of the night. Sooorrry if it sucks ☹
> 
> So, um, yeah there’s that chapter. I really want to know how you guys feel about this story like other than you like it/dislike it. I want to know how y’all feel about the plot and about Harry’s problem with being obsessed with Niall and Niall’s new problem of thinking Harry’s everything. For the record, the bit with the panic attack was supposed to be a choppy and quick-paced writing style because it was inside Niall’s head. Because this is Niall’s POV, I had to get in the head of someone with a panic attack. I’ve had panic attacks before so I sort of just used my own experiences here. 
> 
> Also are there even mountain things in London? Idk I just made it up sorry everyone .-.
> 
> Anyway, what do you think of Niall’s new view of Harry? Do you think that Harry is going to be okay with his new responsibility with Niall? What about Greg? 
> 
> Don’t worry all of you angst loving masochists, bad boy possessive Harry will be back shortly, just had to show his infatuation for little Niall ☺ 
> 
> Like always, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!! xx


	4. I've got so much to teach you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record—when I started this story, I imagined the characters just getting off of fall break, which is just a couple of days in October for the schools around me—so yeah… it’s October :p 
> 
> Also slight smut warning
> 
> Warning b/c it’s awkward (sorry)

On the way back, Harry gets a text, telling him that a few of his friends are getting breakfast at some pancake place, and Harry tells me that we’re going to drop in. 

We get to the shop and Harry easily drags me over to a group of two boys, both looking tired. Harry sits down across from a boy with multi-colored hair and a big smile. He motioned for me to sit down next to him, meaning that I’m sat across from the dark haired, Asian looking one. “Cal, Mike, where’s Zayn?” Harry asks, leaning back slightly and placing his hand on my thigh. I give him a quick, flustered glance as the boy with the multi-colored hair responds. 

“Hello to you too, Harry.” The one across from me grumbles as the other one answers.

“He’s late, as usual. Probably slept in or so- Well, speak of the devil.” He says, cutting himself off as a new boy walks in the store. This boy is all tan skin, black hair in a perfect quiff, and long, dark eyelashes. I almost gape as he walks to our table and sits himself down next to me. He’s almost as gorgeous as Harry. Harry leans over me to give the boy a fist bump, greeting him.

“Zayn, bro, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah, mate, I didn’t even know you were back in town till Liam came over with a black eye.” Zayn says, accent thick in his voice. Harry, Mike, and Cal all laugh, but I just look down, uncomfortably, remembering just how Liam got that black eye. Harry clear his throat and nudges my shoulder with his nose.

“Zayn, this is _Niall_.” Harry says, emphasizing my voice and nodding like he was waiting for Zayn to understand something. Zayn raises his eyebrows and smirks at me as Harry turns me towards the other to. “And Niall, this is Zayn, Calum and Michael.” Harry says.

Michael and Calum smirk at me in a whole different way than Zayn, eyeing me and holding back snickers. I give them a timid smile before looking at Harry, confused. Zayn is giving Harry the same confused look, but Harry just laughs along with the other two. 

“So, Harry, is he any good?” Mike asks, halfway through breakfast, giving Calum a little nudge. 

I tilt my head, not sure what they’re talking about. I watch uncomfortably as Zayn sends Mike a dirty look and then looks to Harry expectantly. Harry shifts his hand up my thigh and I squeak quietly as he answers, “Of course.” Harry leans in with a smirk, “Why else would I keep him around?” 

There’s a painful knot in my stomach, and the voice that I hadn’t heard since way earlier this morning returns, taunting me. ‘ _They’re talking about you_ ’

I catch Zayn quirking an eyebrow at Harry as Harry, Mike, and Cal all laugh boisterously. I try pushing Harry’s hand down my leg a little, feeling uncomfortable and upset that they were probably talking about me. He sends me a glance that says _stop_ and clamps his hand down even tighter.

The rest of breakfast goes slowly and awkwardly and I hate every second of it. As everyone finishes up, Harry and I get up along with Zayn and walk to the door. Harry’s hand brushes by my own as he tells us that he’ll be right back after visiting the loo. 

“Why do you let him talk about you like that?” Zayn questions, his voice sudden and low. I jump, not used to hearing his voice quite yet. 

“Um, what? Who? What?” I repeat, still slightly nervous in his presence. 

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Harry. I mean, he’s told me everything about you and him… and I mean, come on, mate, _obviously_ you haven’t had sex yet.” I blush furiously at his blatant words, “So why are you letting him flaunt you around like some sex toy?”

My heart hurts at that. “I- um… I didn’t know he was.” I whisper, hoping I don’t cry in front of this stranger. 

Zayn steps forward, like he’s going to apologize or hug me, but Harry steps directly in front of him. “Baby, are you alright?” He asks, sounding so endearing that I almost forget the conversation I just had with Zayn. 

“Yeah.” I say automatically. Harry gives me a skeptical look, but turns to Zayn anyway.

“See you tonight, mate.” He says, and Zayn nods and smiles like we weren’t just talking behind Harry’s back. 

I catch his eyes as Harry leads me back to the car, and I know that our conversation is far from over.

* * * *

The ride home was filled with Harry prompting me to tell him all about my life and my anxiety. I told him everything, because it was Harry and I wanted to give him what he wanted. I told him about the bullies and about living with Greg. I blatantly ignored his question about my parents, and thankfully, he didn’t ask anymore about them. Then there was a silence in the car and I was about to begin asking about Harry’s life when he interrupted me. 

“See, Niall, I don’t think you need your pill.” Harry says, an unnaturally light tone in his voice.

I stutter as I understand exactly what he just said, “Harry…” I say, not wanting to disagree with him. 

“No, love, just listen to me. All day you’ve been absolutely fine. No problems, no anxiety, no chest tightening- that’s what you called it right?” I nod my affirmation. “See? All you need is something that makes you forget about it—something that makes you happy.”

“You make me happy.” I say softly as I grip his arm.

Harry sighs, letting the arm that I was cuddling drift back over to the gear shift. His hand tightens around the wheel as he murmurs, “I won’t always.” 

I frown, but I don’t argue with him because I don’t understand. 

The rest of the car ride is somewhat silent and I’m worried that maybe I made Harry mad. We pull in the car park and Harry gets out. I wait for a second, wondering if he’ll open my door again. When he doesn’t I quickly scramble out of the car, only to see him mounting his bike. My heart beats faster as he pulls on the helmet and begins to rev his engine. He flicks the visor open and gives me a half hearted smirk, “See you around, princess.” He says, throwing me the keys to Ashton’s car.

“Wait!” I call, and he stops his revving. I panic seeing as I didn’t have any real reason to stop him other than _don’t leave me!_

“Um, what do I tell Ashton?” I ask, already feeling stupid with my question. 

Harry’s eyes drift to my shaking hands and I swear I see his eyes break for a split second. He then shakes his head slightly, as if clearing his thoughts, and laughs blankly, “it’s easy, love, just lie.”

With that he peels off and speeds away without a second glance. I sigh heavily and trudge sadly towards the door, wondering if this was the way it was always going to be with Harry; if it would always with him speeding off and leaving me alone in the opposite direction. I walk up the stairs, not having the nerve to take the enclosed deathtrap- also known as the elevator- alone. When I walk into my dorm room I squeak, terrified, as I am immediately engulfed in a hug. When I recognize Ashton, I’m deeply confused, but still, I settle into the hug. He’s apologizing profusely and though I’m not exactly sure why he’s apologizing, I’m nodding and telling him its okay. 

I drop his keys onto the dresser, and thankfully, he doesn’t seem to notice. 

Ashton hugs me tighter and rambles. “Niall I’m so so sorry, are you alright? I’m so sorry.”

“Ashton, of course I am, why are you apologizing?” I ask, genuinely confused. 

Ashton pulls back and looks at me with watery eyes, “the bathroom is absolutely wrecked and I found an empty bottle…” He trailed off and I let my eyes wander to the bathroom. It _is_ wrecked. “I mean you never told me specifically, but I figured you were taking some kind of… something for your worriedness.” 

“Gosh, Ashton, I’m so sorry I tore apart the bedroom, I was just—“ I begin to apologize. 

“No, Niall, I’m sorry I wasn’t here! What happened? Are you okay?” Ashton asks, and I’m touched at his concern. 

I’m not sure if telling him the truth is the smartest idea, so I try to be vague. “I figured it out. I’m good now.” 

Somehow, Ashton believes me. 

“Where were you anyway?” I ask as we both sit on his bed. 

Ashton’s face heats and he looks at the ground. “Luke and I went out to some bar with some people.” He says, but the blush on his face says that he’s not telling me something. I shrug, accepting his answer because I know what it’s like to be forced into telling a personal story. But of course, Ashton is an open book, and he spills everything without a second glance from me, “Basically he got pissed, I mean like totally shit-faced, and we took a cab back and we sort of just ended up in his room-“ 

I gasp, “You didn’t”

Ashton’s eyes are watery once again, “No, but he _did_ ” I look at him with wide eyes. 

“What does that mean?”

“It’s just we got to his room and he was saying all these things and then he just kissed me and I didn’t stop him because… well, because I didn’t _want_ to stop him.” He sniffs. “But we woke up this morning and I was thinking about leaving but I was _sore_ and he wasn’t complaining. But then he asked me why I was walking funny and—“ He lets out a sob “—he didn’t even remember, Niall.” He says, almost incoherently as he lets his cries overtake him.

I sigh and move to hug him.  
* * * *  
The day is spent with Ashton crying over Netflix romantic comedies and eating ice cream while I let him cuddle me. We both jump as my phone begins to buzz and I groan as I get it. My eyes widen as I see the contact light up, _Greg_. 

“Shit.” I whisper, and walk out into the hallway after telling Ashton to give me a minute. I pick up the phone and hesitantly whisper, “Um, Hello.” 

I hear Greg’s short intake of breath before going off, “Niall James Horan.” His voice is dangerously low as he growls my name. “Do you want to tell me why the fuck you haven’t been answering the phone for the past day and a half after leaving me _that_ message?” Greg’s voice goes from silent to screeching in just one sentence. He inhales deeply and lets out another shaky breath. “Niall, I thought that you had—“ Greg cuts himself off, but we both know what he was going to say. He sighs, his voice sounding worn and tired, “Niall, you can’t do that, alright, I know college is hard. I’ve been there too. You just—you can’t do that.”

Niall shakes his head, even though Greg can’t see him, “No, Greg. You _don’t_ know how hard this is.” I say, my voice low. “You don’t stutter and you don’t cry all the time and you don’t have panic attacks over stupid c-crap! You had tons of friends and everyone _loves_ you here. Even now.” My voice had risen as I continued my rant. “And I hate it here Greg! Everyone knows you and talks about you and talks to me about you and I hate it. I hate talking to them and my cheat hurts _all the time_ ” I feel the tears gathering in my eyes. I consider telling him about Harry and I, but I immediately decide that it’s a bad idea because what is there to tell? “No one understands me. I mean it! I have no friends here, Greg, no one who _really_ cares, and I hate it.” My breaths heave as I finished. My chest was filled with the familiar tightening feeling and the fact that I hadn’t taken my pill this morning didn’t comfort me. 

Greg is shushing me through the phone, his soothing voice trying to calm me. “Niall, it’s alright. Listen here, it’s all okay.” 

It takes a moment for me to settle down.

“Do you want to come home, Nialler?” Greg asks, sounding tired.

I nod and whimper. “Yes.” I sniffle, “But I’m staying.”

Greg was silent for a moment before sighing heavily. “Alright, Niall. Well, I’m sorry for earlier, it’s just—I’ve spent my entire life protecting you and you’ve always come to me with your problems and you wouldn’t answer to anyone but _me_ and I guess having you ignore my calls threw me off a little.” 

I winced in guilt and try to will away the tears, responding, “It’s alright. I’m sorry.” Because I am sorry—always sorry. 

Greg and I say our goodbyes, but I have to sit in the hallway a little longer before I’m ready to face Ashton. He notices the tears, but doesn’t ask. 

* * * *  
Later that night, my phone buzzes with a text and my heart jumps as Harry’s contact appears. 

**From: Harry**  
Havin a party at the house u should come

 **To: Harry**  
Oh okay, when should I get there? At your frat house?

 **From: Harry**  
lol Idk  & idc. U should come hang tho. At the frat

My eyebrows furrow at his text language. The brave side of me wants to just tell him to shove it and call me when he realizes that he can’t keep leaving me hanging like earlier—but of course I ignore the thought. I look over to Ashton, who is holding back tears as we near the end of _The Holiday_. I nudge him and ask lowly, “Hey. So, there’s a party at DLP...” I say, trying to use my most convincing voice.

Ashton gives me a look, and I know he wants to tell me to stop being stupid and stop going after Harry. I’m surprised when he closes his eyes, composing himself slightly, and then just smiles at me. “I’m not really up for a party tonight Nialler, but I think you should go.” He says, patting me on the shoulder. 

I bite my lip, feeling extremely guilty. “Are you sure? I won’t be there long.” I say.

Ashton smiles again. “Want me to help you pick out an outfit?”

I grin back. Maybe I do have friends here after all.  
* * * *  
Ashton dressed me in casual black skinny jeans that reminded me of Harry, and a large grey jumper that would keep me warm for the October breeze. Ashton offers to drop me off, and I’m about to take him up on the offer when someone knocks on our door. 

Ashton shoves me towards the door, and I push down the anxiety I’ve always had over opening doors for strangers because I genuinely think it might be Luke—and I have to be here for Ashton.

Both Ashton and I are surprised when we’re met with Josh Devine, rubbing his neck and looking nervous. “Niall.” He smiles at me in a way that makes me blush, “Hey.”

I try and hide my blush, waving slightly, “Hey, Josh.”

We stare at each other for a second, before Josh seems to snap out of some sort of daze. “Um, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out… like um soon—or now?” He says, sounding timid and I’m flattered that someone actually got this nervous from just talking to me. Josh suddenly meets Ashton’s eyes and turns red “And you too Ashton! Of course!” He says, trying to recover. 

Ashton laughs and pats me on the back telling him, “No thanks, buddy.” while walking back to his bed and re-starting his movie. 

I suddenly feel just as nervous as Josh as I respond, “Uh, actually, I’m just going to a party right now…. A-at Delta Lambda Phi.” I watch as Josh’s smile fades and am instantly guilty, how do normal people deal with a social life? I’m quick to add, “But I don’t have a ride—so if you want to come with me…?” 

Josh noticeably lights up. “Yeah dude, sounds sick. When do you want to go?” 

“Now is good.” I nod, following him out to his car with a call of “See you, Ash!”

* * * *  
The drive to Harry’s fraternity is much like the first ride I had with Josh, filled with common music tastes and slightly awkward jokes. I wonder if this is how normal people flirt. I let myself check out Josh, and I definitely recognize his attractiveness. I understand why I hear girls in the hall below us whisper about him and I agree with the mass majorities’ opinion that he’s super hot.

I blush at my own train of thought and swallow nervously as I think about what Harry would do if he knew I just thought that about another boy.

I’m biting my lip again now, wondering what Harry’s reaction will be to me walking into his party with another guy. 

I sigh. Thinking about Harry made my chest hurt. He made my chest hurt in a way completely opposite to the anxiety and it scared me. It was painful and scary but also lovely and addicting and I wasn’t sure how to react when it began fluttering in my chest.

Before I can continue questioning my confusing relationship (if it can even be called that) with Harry, We arrive at Harry’s house. 

This party is considerably smaller than the first one I went to, and I’m relieved. Josh and I get out of the car, and make our way to the door. 

Josh’s shoulder brushes against my own and I suddenly feel the need to distance myself from him, or at least warn him that Harry had some sort of problem with other boys being too touchy with me. 

I don’t get the chance to.

Before Josh can even knock on the door, Louis is opening the door and dragging me into a hug. “Niall!” He says, a little too loudly and _’what’s that all about?’_ Louis releases me and lets his eyes drag over Josh’s body. He smirks. “And Niall’s _friend_.” He says this much more lowly and despite Josh’s worried glances towards me, I can’t help but ignore him in favor of searching for Harry. The party seems to be in the room that the bar was in last time, but instead of looking like an intense rave laser show, the living room is filled with comfy leather couches, large flat screen TVs and fluffy carpets. 

The kegs are still where they were before, right where Harry and I first met. I silently gasp as I remember the hickey that’s probably still on my neck. I glance back nervously at Louis and Josh, not wanting to walk into the party by myself. Josh seems to notice and I remember that he _knows_ about everything. He knows about my anxiety. The malicious voice in my head sneers, _’probably only hangs out with you out of pity, then.’_

I ignore it for the time being.

Louis, Josh, and I walk into the party and are greeted by a group of about 30 people. Some were in one corner smoking what could only be weed. Another group was sitting in a circle, passing a red solo cup around and the others were randomly strewn about the place.

It isn’t hard to find Harry.

* * * *

My heart is heavy as I continue to sit uncomfortably next to Harry and the girl in his lap. Zayn is on my other side, trying to keep my attention away from the exhibit on my other side, and I feel rude for not paying attention, but I’m distracted. Harry’s elbow is brushing against my side and our legs are touching, but his hands are all over her and my chest hurts in places that I didn’t even know existed. This is a completely different pain of the anxiety and also completely different from the “fuzzy-Harry-feelings”. This one hurts in my _heart_ and it makes my eyes sting and _I do not like it_. I begin to realize that maybe this is the part of Harry that everyone was warning me from. My heart is pounding as I watch Harry touch foreheads with the girl and I look away quickly. Zayn is sitting closer to me than he was before, a confused and slightly pitiful look on his face. Louis is sitting in the corner with Liam and a very stoned Josh, but instead of looking laid back and casual like before, he looks livid. His glare is directed at Harry. Liam is chancing short, sorrowful looks at me, but its obvious that Harry’s last threat scared him.

I jump when a hand is placed on my knee. I hear a low chuckle and I look up to see Zayn sitting next to me. I give him a weak smile, but keep my mouth shut, not knowing what to say. Zayn gets close to my ear and asks lowly “Do you want me to drive you home?” 

I shrug at him, “Um- well, Josh drove me here, and I don’t know if Harry would want-“ 

“Look, mate, I’m sorry to be frank, but Harry looks a little busy right now. And you haven’t done enough wrong to deserve to see him…er… _‘getting busy’_ ” Zayn says, still keeping his voice low. 

I’m not sure what he means about Harry being busy. I look back at Harry once more to see if he cares that I’m in such close quarters with Zayn, but I’m shocked to see him sloppily making out with the girl on his lap. 

The breath is punched out of my lungs and I fall back a little into Zayn. He catches my shoulder and pulls me up from the couch. 

My mouth is wide open and I’m still staring at Harry as Zayn drags me out of the room. Is that what kissing is supposed to look like? I flush suddenly, feeling embarrassed. My kiss with Harry was _nothing_ like that. Harry probably thought I was an idiot. No wonder he’s with that girl now. My brain hurts and my chest hurts worse. The anxiety is already back and I wish I had just forgotten Harry and taken my pill this morning. That little confident side is now screaming, telling me to go back in there and put Harry in his place. I realize that I don’t have much choice when I feel Louis helping Zayn get me into a large black range rover. “Wait-“ 

I’m halfway in the car when we hear a raspy deep voice calling “Now where do you think you’re taking my Nialler?” 

My breath stutters as I hear his voice. We all turn to see Harry standing at the edge of the lawn, swaying drunkenly and holding the neck of a beer bottle. 

Louis scowls at the drunk boy, “Stop it!” he screams, “He is _not_ yours! You don’t get to treat a guy like shit and then claim him as your own! You can’t keep him _and_ treat him like this while keeping him away from people who will actually care about him!” 

Harry frowns at Louis, looking genuinely upset. “I care about him! I’m the only damn one who makes him comfortable and happy!” He yells back. 

“Oh yeah? Then why do you force him to watch you make out with some slut when he obviously has feelings for you?” Louis yells back. 

“Just because he belongs to me doesn’t mean that I belong to him.” Harry says in a dangerous tone. 

A strange whimpering sound leaves my throat at that. Though the thought of belonging had always comforted me, even in the beginning, the fact that it wasn’t a two way street killed me. What would happen if I never stopped craving Harry the way I was now? I _needed_ him… didn’t I? 

Louis laughs coldly. “You really are a complete asshole, huh, Styles?” 

“Aparently.” Harry grits out. “Zayn, Niall, come on, lets leave this _freak_ out here to himself.”

My eyes widen at Harry addressing me. My inner self glows with the fact that he wants me with him, but at this point, it feels like Louis is the one who actually cares about what I want. Didn’t I ditch my roommate just yesterday for Harry because I thought _he_ was the only one looking out for what I wanted? I’m jolted with surprise when Zayn moves towards Harry, his hand around my arm. I look to Zayn only to see him looking at Louis with apologetic eyes. I look back at Louis as well and the second I meet his heart broken eyes I dig my feet into the ground. 

Harry’s eyes narrow at my show of defiance. “Niall.” He warns. 

I want to run to him and apologize for not immediately running to be with him. But the look in Louis’ eyes is one I know all too well. I sniffle slightly and look up at Harry, not feeling nearly as happy or content with looking into his eyes as I was this morning. “No.” I say, my voice sad and shaky. “I told you that I’ve been bullied—that I was always bullied back home.” I whisper sadly. “I just told you that today and you told me you weren’t a bully Harry.”

Harry’s eyes soften and I know that even through his drunken stupor, he has to care at least a little bit. “I’m not, Baby.”

I sniffle again, desperately wanting a hug. “But you are.” He’s about to argue again but I beat him to it. “People used to call me a freak too. It’s not nice, Harry, it’s just not okay.” 

“Love,” He addresses, walking forwards until he’s right in front of me. “We’ve already come to the conclusion that I’m not a good person. I won’t apologize. You’re mine, Niall.” He grabs my hand and presses my hand in his against his chest, so that I feel his heart. He doesn’t let go until I meet his eyes, and when I do, he takes my arm in his hand and drags me into the house. I take one lasting look at Louis, but instead of being hurt like before he was grinning at me. I grin back at him just before the door closes and I think I just made another friend. 

Harry takes me into the house and up the stairs until we reach a large bedroom at the end of the hall. The walls are a nice light grey and the bed is huge with a fluffy white duvet and black pillows. “Um.” I say, my voice cracks a little. I flush and wipe at my eyes and nose for a second, remembering that I was just on the verge of crying. I don’t want to look at Harry anymore. His words rung throughout my head. _“Just because he belongs to me doesn’t mean that I belong to him.”_ I nearly let out another whimper. Harry seems to read my mind and he pulls me into his arms. His face in buried in the crook of my neck as he shakes his head. 

“People just—they can’t know yet, alright.” He says, sounding just as broken as I felt. 

“B-bout what?” I stutter and then cringe. It felt like I hadn’t stuttered around him in a while. He seems to notice too and cringes along with me. 

“The way I feel about… just about this.” He says, sighing. I try to push him, wanting to know what he was going to say. He doesn’t budge, instead opting to unbutton my jeans and pull down the zipper. He chuckles as I struggle against him. 

“Harry!” I complain, not wanting to be half naked in front of him again. But of course, I have no power over him. He peels my jeans down with one hand, using the other to keep my own from stopping him. 

Then, I’m left in my white boxer briefs and my jumper. Harry holds me at arms length and eyes me appreciatively. 

I sigh, “Harry…” Not liking the way he was looking at me.

He pulls back to meet my eyes. He doesn’t smile or laugh like usual, instead he just pulls my jumper off and I immediately shiver. “No!” I protest. “It’s c-cold.” I say, and I’m not sure if the stutter is from my teeth chattering or not. 

Harry simply peels off his own black jumper and pulls it over my head. He continues to pull me close, and I rise up to my tip-toes so I can nuzzle his neck like he is with mine. 

Harry’s arms begin to slide up and down my sides. I make the mistake of giggling when his nails accidently graze my stomach. Harry pulls back with a glint in his eye while my eyes widen in terror. “Oh, love. You didn’t tell me you were ticklish.” He said, not letting me go as I attempt to break from his arms. 

“I’m not!” I plead, “No- Ha-Harry! I’m not!” I squeal as he begins to run his fingers viciously down my stomach and sides. I take the advantage of both of his hands being busy and push him away, rushing for the bed. I wrap my arms around my stomach and lay face down so he couldn’t reach my stomach. Harry pounces on me, his fingers digging into my sides mercilessly. I’m too busy squealing and struggling to notice the new position we’ve gotten into. 

It isn’t until a few minutes later that I notice that our laughter has begun to fade, instead replaced with heavy pants. I let out a sigh of relief as Harry’s hands simply rub over the skin he was just abusing. I don’t notice anything out of the usual until I feel something hard pressing against my bum. My eyes widen almost comically as Harry begins to softly grind against me, shoving his nose into the crook of my neck and inhaling deeply. I feel an unfamiliar tightening feeling in my briefs, and I whimper, not sure how to respond to it. Harry coos at me, shushing me quietly, “It’s alright, Ni.” 

I whine as he commits a particularly hard thrust that moves my hips against the bed in just the right way. I move my head and push it against his, seeking some sort of comfort from the questionable feelings that were arising due to Harry’s grinding. One of his hands crawls up from my lower back to rub my arms. I let out a light moan as he gathers my wrists above my head and pushes them against one of the large pillows. I mewl desperately as his thrusts become harder, and Harry’s just grinding against my brief-covered arse as he groans in my ear. I snivel and blush as I feel myself subconsciously rutting against the huge bed. “A-ah” I whine, not getting the friction my body was telling me I needed. 

“F-fuck.” Harry growled, sounding every bit of sexually frustrated as I felt. Before I can do or say anything, Harry flips me so that I’m looking him in the eyes. I’m not sure when he took off his jeans, but I’m suddenly face to face with his beautifully designed body. He keeps my wrists in their tight hold, but uses his other hand to spread my legs and push them over his own shoulders. I watch his eyes darken considerably as he begins again, the new position giving a whole different perspective. This time, Harry returns to my neck, but this time he uses his teeth find his favorite spot on my neck—directly on top of and around the hickey he gave me the first night we met. He sucks and bites even harder than the first time- but paired with the pressure his body is giving my neglected erection--it feels amazing. I moan, feeling as helpless as I did that first night we met. Harry’s mouth detaches from my neck and I whine for a second until he shuts me up, kissing me soundly. Even with the intense and _hot_ dry humping that’s currently happening, there’s something sweet and calm about it. Harry pulls back for a second and stares at me for a moment. 

I meet his eyes, wondering offhandedly if my eyes are as dark as his. Harry shakes his head vigorously, whispering a harsh, “Shite.” Before kissing me once more. This time he’s rough, biting my lower lip until I open my mouth for him. His tongue is suddenly in my mouth and the first thought that comes to my head is _ew_. But then his tongue is against my own, and I feel it. There’s a curling in my stomach and it almost _hurts_ for a second. I mewl, not understanding any of the raging feelings inside of me. Harry’s body descends for only a moment, but the slight brush against my hardness sets me off. My lower body jerks intensely and I feel a wetness fill my briefs. I whimper loudly into Harry’s mouth, so much that he pulls back, thrusting hard against me and sputtering “Holy fucking Christ—“ and I feel a dampness against my arse.

We’re both breathing heavily, Harry’s face buried in my neck. His body is almost crushing mine, and I’m just _confused_.

Harry rolls off of me, pulling me onto his chest, and the chaving in my underwear is obvious. I nearly make an audible noise at my discomfort, but I manage to hide it. 

Somehow, Harry seems to notice, like always. “You good, baby?” He asks, sounding half asleep already.

I shake my head. “What was that?” I ask, meeting Harry’s eyes nervously.

Harry stares at me for a second, green eyes hazy with emotion. He then grips my chin and tilts it harshly so our foreheads can touch. “Oh, princess,” he chuckles, an evil glint in his eye, “I’ve got so much to teach you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in mind that I am not proud of this chapter other than the fact that its almost 6,000 words. I hope it flowed alright and made sense. I’m trying really hard to keep Niall and Harry in character. I don’t want to give too much away so I’ll just say this—remember that Niall’s pills do have a large impact on him- we just aren’t too sure what exactly that impact entails. Also Harry is a confusing little bastard isn’t he? And maybe Niall is a bit too shy for a full confrontation over Harry’s mean mean words. But I guess we’ll have to see. 
> 
> I’m completely open to ideas and suggestions!
> 
> Legitimately sorry if anyone was cringing throughout that slight smut scene. I tried :/ Sorry that the update was super late, but I did write like over 5,500 words so ☺
> 
> Also, comments make me ridiculously happy (as do kudos!) they also make me work faster ;)


	5. He won't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was late. Actually-- this really isn't late. When i have constant schooling this is probably going to be my regular updating schedule. I'm sorry :( I try to make chapters as long as i can whilst keeping them compliant with the story. FUNFACT i added 1080 words to this just for y'all. 
> 
> Also i didn't even read over this chapter. I really hope that it all makes sense. I tried really hard to keep everyone in character, it's just so hard. ;_; 
> 
> Basically, i'm trying to show you guys a trend in Niall's life when he's on pills v. when he's off of them. And then also again in Niall's life when he's with harry v. when he's without him. I hope it's starting to make sense. 
> 
> //IMPORTANT//: TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER. NEAR SEXUAL NON-CON IF THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING FOR YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ.

When I woke up, the room around me was dim and the bed beside me was cold. I rubbed my eyes tiredly, trying to clear the bleariness from my eyes. My heart dropped as I realized that the cold feeling in the bed meant that Harry wasn’t there, even after what we had just done. 

Not that I really understood what we had just done—he hadn’t really explained before I passed out. Words like _virginity_ and _dirty_ were floating through my head, but I did my best to ignore them before I freaked out over it. 

My eyes are drawn to the fluorescent green clock beside me, and I dully note that it was almost midnight, meaning I had slept for about two hours. I move to get up, only to cringe at the uncomfortable feeling in my underwear. I blush furiously as I remember exactly what had gone on last night. Was that-- _what was that?_

I get up from the bed, scouring the ground for the rest of my clothes, trying to ignore the sore, chafing feeling in my briefs. I successfully find my jeans and pull them on over my dirty and uncomfortable underwear, but fail to find my shirt. I sigh, and in a complete act of laziness and overall want to just go home and figure out what in the hell I was doing with Harry-- I decide to just keep the shirt I was already wearing of his. 

I continue to rustle around for my t-shirt and now my phone, realizing that it wasn’t in the back pocket of my jeans like it was when Harry pushed them off. 

I shiver at that thought and shake my head, hoping that it would turn up somewhere soon— or before Greg called again. 

I waddle my way down the stairs and pray that I can find Josh easily. I reach the bottom of the stairs and scoot my way past a few couples in the hallway. I make my way over to the couch, where I see Zayn and Louis, each looking properly buzzed. Louis catches my gaze the second I walk in and is quick to call me over. “Ni!” He says, patting the couch next to him. I walk over to him, but decide not to sit, trying to avoid anymore chafing. Louis slurs a little as he grips my arm, “‘eard you and ‘arry had a good time together.” He says, and Zayn gives him a nasty glare, looking like he wants to shut him up. “He was just in ‘ere. Braggin’ and shit.” He continues, but this time Zayn _does_ shut him up with an elbow to the gut. Louis groans and releases me. I stumble away a little, my eyes wide and feelings demolished. I looked around at the remaining people at the party to see them all eyeing me with the some look in their eyes. There were a few people looking at me with jealousy and anger, and maybe there were a few who looked a little bit eager, watching me in a way I know Harry would hate. But mostly, they looked at me like I was an idiot: a funny one, apparently, because most of them were laughing as they stared at me, giggling and whispering behind their hands. 

My hands are shaking now, I’m sure of it. And my chest hurts all over again, the painful, awful, terrible one that kills and Zayn _must_ notice because he takes my wrist and glares at everyone in the room before taking me out into the hallway. “Niall—it’s fine. No one will even remember this in the morning.” He assures me, and I’m know that’s probably true but this is _right now_ and everyone’s looking at me and whispering and—

And now Harry is back again, coming out of the bathroom just down the hallway. I want to go to him and hug him, put my hand against his heart again and let him tell me that he _does_ care and that this _does_ mean something. I want him to reassure me again, like he did in the bedroom earlier. But instead or doing that, I just watch as the girl from earlier in the night—which feels like eternities ago-- follows him out of the bathroom. I watch as he pushes her against the wall—just like he’s done to me before—and I watch as he puts an arm around her waist as she whispers in his ear. 

I don’t get to see anymore because Zayn’s hand clamps over my eyes and he’s dragging—carrying me out. I’m shaking again by the time I feel the fresh air around me, and Zayn takes his hands from my eyes. It’s only then that I realize there are tears on my cheeks and Zayn looks at me like he doesn’t know what to do until someone else is behind me and I almost scream until I feel the familiar strong arms around me and I realize it’s _Josh_. And maybe it’s just the fact that he’s the only person who’s been nice to me since Ashton—or maybe I’m just desperate for something that Harry can’t give me-- but I turn in his arms and finally-- _finally_ let go and sob heavily into his shoulder. I can hear their conversation above me explaining what happened and I hear Josh telling Zayn that he’d take me home. After reassuring Zayn twice that he was sober-- that he had come out here so he could sober up enough to take me home. I want to cry even more because why. Why couldn’t I have met Josh just the day before I met Harry. Josh knows about my problems, Josh cares about me, Josh is here now. 

But no, I had to go to that stupid party with Ashton and meet _Harry_. Harry, who gave me my first kiss and held me through a panic attack and dry humped me into oblivion. Harry, who kisses other people and beats up guys who look at me twice but still says he doesn’t want me like that because he doesn’t belong to me. Harry, who stabilizes me, who makes everything okay and makes me forget about my anxiety. With that, the realization that I didn’t take my pills comes back to me and my breathing becomes uneven again. Zayn and Josh must notice because they’re soon ushering me into Josh’s car. I vaguely remember Zayn hugging me and whispering that he was sorry, but we’re speeding off so quickly that everything runs together. 

The car ride is a blur. Josh is rubbing soothing circles in my leg and I think I stopped crying a while ago. We’re walking up to our dorms when Josh says his first words directly to me. “I’m sorry tonight didn’t work out the way you wanted.” He says and he sounds so genuine and my heart breaks for the fourth time tonight. I look at him in a way and I hope he understands that I wish so badly that I had met him first. We get to our dorm rooms quickly after that and we’re both about to walk in when a heavy moan is heard from Luke and Josh’s room. My eyes widen almost comically and we both rush to peek through the crack that is always left in their door. My heart drops when I recognize a girl’s body. Not Ashton’s. Josh seems to read my mind and gives me a sympathetic look. I shake my head and shrug, and am about to go into my own dorm when I realize Josh has nowhere to go—not really anyways. 

“You can-” I’m immediately put off at the gravely, unattractive voice that escapes my mouth. “Um- you could come in here tonight. You know—to avoid… _that_ ” I say. 

Josh looks relieved and follows me into the dorm, whispering, “You’re a life safer.” 

I put a finger to my lips, not wanting _anything_ to alert Ashton of what was going on next door. I open the door and almost start crying again when I see the pillows piled around Ashton, his hands limply holding them around his ears. Josh notices as well and puts a large hand on my shoulder. 

I give Josh one of Ashton’s larger shirts and go into the bathroom to change my briefs because— _ouch_. When I get back, Josh is standing awkwardly at my dresser and I cringe at what I know I’m about to suggest. “We can—er we can share my bed. T-They’re big enough for two.” I say, not making eye contact with him. 

Josh smiles, and I know that’s exactly what he wants, but he suppresses himself for a moment while asking, “Are you comfortable with that, Niall?” 

I sigh inwardly, feeling shaky and unstable already. I nod, “Yeah. F’course Josh.” I say, because really, he’s been nothing but amazing towards me even though I obviously have so many issues. I keep Harry’s shirt on because it still smells like him and I don’t want Josh seeing my body—only Harry’s seen me like that, aside from Greg. 

I get into my place next to the wall and try to leave as much room as possible. Josh gets in behind me and though we’re less crowded than when Harry slept here, we’re also avoiding touching one another, so the air is uncomfortable. Josh, probably kept his distance because he’s sweet and considerate and he just wants me to be comfortable. I close my eyes as I feel Josh relax a little, his arm brushing mine and I drift off to the sounds of Josh’s soft snores, wondering why I couldn’t like Josh the way I did Harry.

* * * * 

The next morning when I wake up, my head is pounding and my eyes are foggy. Luckily, this time I don’t wake up with a panic attack, but I can feel a head cold coming on and I know I have class today. It takes me a moment to realize that I’m completely crowded against Josh’s chest. I almost immediately scramble away, but I remember that it’s okay. Harry isn’t here and Josh doesn’t seem to mind. Though his eyes are closed, he isn’t snoring, so I’m pretty sure he isn’t asleep, but I decide not to call him out on it. I gently slip out of the bed, carefully around him, just in case he actually is asleep. I turn around, expecting to see Ashton sleeping the morning away, but am surprised to see his messy, unruly head of hair sitting up in bed grinning widely at his phone screen. I nearly jump 3 feet in the air, letting out a little scream. Both Josh and Ashton jolt up, and I laugh nervously. “Sorry—uh Ash scared me.” I say, receiving glares from both of them. 

“Geez, Ni, I almost deleted this _adorable_ snapchat.” Ashton says, an annoyed glint in his voice. 

I shrug, “Sorry.” I turn to Josh to see him grinning at me with his huge, kind smile and once again I feel the need to cry. Last night’s events return to me in a rush and I sit on the edge of Ashton’s bed, letting out a heavy sigh. My eyes fleetingly glance over at Ashton, only to gasp at the picture he was currently drawing on. “What is that?!” I yell, trying to snatch his phone from his hand. 

Ashton lets out an indignant noise. “Stop it, Ni, I’m almost done.” 

Ashton’s holding the phone high above my head and I’m left jumping trying to delete it. “I’m _serious_ Ashton! That can’t go anywhere!” I say. 

The picture was horrific. My head was laying on Josh’s chest, his arm around my shoulders. The tips of my hair, now a fading lilac color were pushing just against the underside of his jaw and I have to admit that it’s a good picture—minus myself. But if Harry saw that… 

I shiver. 

“Ash!” I say, terrified for Josh’s safety. He hasn’t done anything but good towards me since I’ve known him and I won’t be the reason that Harry ruins his life at this college. 

“Calm down, Ni. I’ve only sent it to you, Josh, Lou, and Zayn. Your overprotective _dog_ won’t catch a whiff of it.” He says, his tone ugly as he talked about Harry. 

I sigh in relief, trying to ignore the feeling to snap at Ashton for being rude about Harry. _’why are you defending him?’_ the vicious voice in my head asks, _’he does nothing but hurt you and you still feel obligated to defend him? Now where have I heard this before?’_ It asks and I nearly slap myself in the face. 

_Stop it._ I demand. I try to remember the exercises the nice lady in Dublin had taught. Breathe, control, forget, breathe, control, forget. 

When I open my eyes, I watch as Ashton sends the picture out after adding a few little hearts to the black and white filter. I roll my eyes, watching as Josh screenshots it and sends me a wink. I get up to get my phone when I remember. “Oh no.” I whisper, a shudder moving through my body. I race to my jeans from the night before, tearing through the pockets. “Oh god. Oh god.” I say, and I feel Ashton hovering over my shoulder.

“Ni, are you alright? Do you need your pills?” He asks, seeming very worried and I see Josh getting up from the bed quickly, telling me,

“I can do breathing exercises, if you want.” 

I vaguely remember him telling me that his sister used to have panic attacks. 

I shake my head, “No, no I’m fine—it’s just my phone. I don’t have it.” I say, sighing defeatedly. “Which means it’s at Harry’s.” I say. _which means Harry might have it. Which means Josh might be dead by tonight._. 

Ashton seems to catch my drift because he pales and his eyes shift to Josh. Josh seems completely fine—either meaning he doesn’t understand or that he’s—stupidly—unafraid of Harry. Josh lets out a laugh. “Look, the guys tall, I’ll give him that. But I’m not at all scared of him.” 

Ashton and I give him a look that describes exactly how crazy we think he is. “Josh, you don’t understand, I saw him nearly beat Liam to death. He’s got rage issues or something. He can just loose it and it’s… it’s terrifying” I say, quaking slightly. 

“He’s a lot stronger than he looks, mate, and he looks pretty strong anyway.” Ashton adds. 

“Ni, if you’re so afraid of him, then why are you with him? It’s obvious that he’s no good.” Josh says, and Ashton looks at me too. They both look expecting and I know there’s no getting out of this one. 

“I’m not “with” him.” I say, _’I just wish I was.’_ “I know he’s no-good. But…” I sigh, feeling utterly stupid as I say, “I belong to him.” Josh and Ashton look at me with sad expressions, but I’m quick to continue. “But I’m not scared of him, Josh. I’m not scared for me.” I relent. “I’m scared for _you_.”

* * * *  
It’s two hours later when Ashton gets up, screaming. “HE OPENED IT, SOMEONE OPENED IT!” 

I shoot up from where I’m sitting on my bed, tearing my headphones from my ears and tossing my laptop to my bed. “What?!” I ask, running over to see his phone. I almost whimper when I see it, the openly outlined arrow next to my name on Ashton's snapchat. “No, no, no…” I whisper, mostly to myself. “Do you know where Josh is right now?” I ask, feeling the immediate urge to run and warn him. 

Ashton shrugged helplessly. “I have no idea, Ni.” He sighs, “It’s not like finding him is going to help anyway.” 

I send him a small glare, “W-what do you mean?” 

“If Harry wants to find him, Niall, he will. There’s no doubt about that.” He says, and I know he’s right but that’s such a scary thought. Harry was ruthless. 

Ashton sends Josh a text, telling him what had happened, but Josh just responded with a **lol mate, thanks for the warning ;p**. 

* * * *  
A few hours later I had my second musical history class of the week. I cringed, not wanting to see professor Beckham ever again after what he had said to me the last time I was in his class. 

Ashton dropped me off this time, like he usually did, promising to come back when it ended. 

Even though I was early, I didn’t go inside the room until other people started to arrive, walking in with a boisterous crowd of people. The class started soon after I sat in my seat and though I kept my eyes on my desk the entire class, I could _feel_ his eyes on me. The class dragged on slowly, each of Professor Beckham’s words seeming to lull by. 

When the class finally ended, everyone shuffled out like usual, everyone taking their time. I tried to slip out quietly, but of course, nothing is ever that easy. 

I feel his hand, gripping around my arm before I hear him, “Mr. Horan, a word, please?” 

I nearly cry. 

“Yeah.” I say, “Okay.” 

He walks me to his desk and we stand awkwardly as we wait for the last few stragglers to hurry out of the room. 

I watch them leave hopelessly, wishing I had left with them as the professor closes the door. 

I make eye contact with him for the first time in the day and instantly there’s a queasy feeling in my stomach. I open my mouth to say something, _anything_ that might get him to let me leave without having this kind of confrontation, but he raises a hand to stop me. “Niall,” He starts, his accent curling around my name. “I’ve asked you to stay back today because- well, your grades are lacking, Mr. Horan.”

And I know for a fact that that isn’t true. I have had a solid 92% in this class all semester long. There’s no way that I could have a less than average grade unless—my heart stops. There’s no way that _that_ is what this is about. “W-what?” I whisper.

“Your last test grade failed, Niall. I’m sorry to say it, but I’m not sure if you’ll pass this semester.” 

I feel like throwing up as I realize that _that’s_ exactly what this is about. “There’s no way that’s true.” I say, a brave fiber of my being showing up for once. “We graded the last test in class. I got an 87.” I say. 

Professor Beckham narrows his eyes at me. “Are you talking back to me, Mr. Horan?”

I shake my head, going back to whispering. “No, sir.” 

He seems happy with my answer, and he returns to his soft voice. “Of course, I don’t want to fail you, Niall, but there’s not much _I_ can do about it.” He says, his eyes glinting. “Can you think of anything?” He asks. 

My breath catches in my throat. No.

I shake my head quickly, backing up several steps. Professor Beckham just continues walking closer. “Really?” He asks condescendingly. “Because I can think of quite a few.”

And then I’m stumbling as I run into his desk, and he takes the opportunity to push me as I’m off balance. Once I steady myself, I find myself in front of him, on my knees. I press my hands against the floor, trying desperately to get back up so I can run and get the heck out of there, but he keeps a heavy hand against my shoulder. The other hand grips the bottom of my chin, forcing me to look up at him with wide eyes. “Such a cute face.” He sighs. “I’m going to love fucking that pretty little mouth.” He says, running his thumb over my bottom lip. I whimper loudly, trying my hardest to get his hand off my chin so I can scream for _anyone_. Professor Beckham hushes me harshly, using the hand that was on my shoulder to unzip his fly when the door is slammed open. 

Both of our eyes shoot to the door and I let out a muted cry of relief when I see the black clad, greed-eyed boy I had been so scared of just a few hours ago. I watch as his wide eyes dart from Beckham’s hand around my jaw, to the tears in my eyes and I can see the anger and absolute hate seep into his green eyes. The professor immediately retracts his hand and brushes his hand through my hair, wincing as a flinch away. “Harry-“ He begins to say, only to be cut off by an animalistic, primal growl. 

Harry takes a step forward slowly; his entire body shaking just like mine did sometimes, only this was out of pure, unadulterated abhorrence. “How- Dare- You.” He grits out, each word coming out in a snarl. He barely gets those words out before tackling the professor to the ground. I watch in terrified silence, tears now streaming freely down my face, as Harry’s fists connect with the teacher’s face over and over again. I have a slight flashback to when he confronted Liam for the first time—but this is different. I feel disgusting as i realize that I want to cheer Harry on. _'you’re turning into a monster'_ the voice tells me but that's nothing I didn't already know. Suddenly, I’m alerted by a choking sound. To my horror, Harry’s hands are clasped around professor Beckham’s throat as Beckham is gripping onto his back for (literal) dear life. I watch on with wide eyes. This only happens in movies—this isn’t real. 

It isn’t until the professor’s hands go limp and his face is blue that I scream. 

My scream is incoherent, not even I know what I’m saying, but it grabs Harry’s attention. Immediately, his hands are off Beckham’s throat and wrapping tightly around me. To my relief, I can hear the teacher coughing and wheezing over where Harry left him. I hear Harry whispering into my ear, _’it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m sorry I left, I’ll never leave you again, it’s okay, he won’t touch you, I’ll kill anyone who touches you, he won’t, he won’t, he won’t.’_

We don’t sit there long. 

I bury my face in his neck whimpering about how I was scared, _so scared_ that he would be mad and scared that I would loose what Harry had clearly stated belonged to him and scared that he wouldn’t want me to belong to him anymore and Harry’s anger starts to build back up. “It’s mine” He growls again. “It’s mine and he tried to steal it.” He says, moving to continue beating up the man who was still writhing on the floor. 

“Harry.” I whimper and he stops dead in his tracks. “I just—I want—“ 

Harry turns and is back in front of me in seconds. “Tell me. Tell me what you want, love.” He says, because that's what Harry's cared about since the beginning. 

“I want to go home.” I say, tears falling one by one as I rest my head against his broad chest. “I want to go home and I never want to see him again.”

“You won’t baby, he’s going to jail, right after we talk to campus security—“ 

“No!” I yell. I can’t handle that. Everyone would know and everyone would always be staring at me. Me, _Niall Horan_ , the reason that David Beckham got arrested. _Niall Horan_ , the stupid fag who lured the teacher into trying to rape him. _Niall Horan_ , the freak who shagged with older men and cried rape when he couldn’t take the heat. I’ve heard it all before. “I just don’t want this class. Harry he won’t come near me again not while you’re here. He won't, he won't he won't." I stutter, the pain in my chest increasing even though Harry is right there next to me. "Please don’t tell anyone. No one can know. No one.” I cry, gripping his t-shirt tight. 

Harry’s sigh comes out gravely and frustrated. I know he wants nothing more than to turn around and personally kill the man behind us. “It’s not your fault, baby, he’s the _disgusting_ pervert who can’t take no for an answer.” Harry growls. 

“Please” I beg, tears in my eyes and lip pouting out as I sniffle. I know this is an unfair move, at least that's what Greg calls it, but I left Ireland for a reason, and I wasn't about to be that kid again. 

Harry relents quietly, kissing my forehead swiftly as he turns to the moaning man behind him. He grabs him up by the collar and forces him up against the desk nearest to them. “Listen here, Beckham, come on, listen.” He says, slapping the teacher’s face a little to grab his attention. “You’re going to pass Niall, early admittance, you hear?” Harry grips the mans throat harder until he nods in response. "You're going to put him into another, good and easy class with a teacher that isn't an absolute wanker.“ Harry says, pushing the man against the table with more pressure. "And then you are never in your life _ever_ going to touch him, talk to him, see him, or even _think_ about him again. Got it?” Harry asks, his voice still low and menacing. Beckham nods quickly. “And then and only then, will I decide not to tell anyone about this and ruin your entire life. Alright?” Once again, Beckham nods and Harry shoves him away, watching with a filthy smirk as the professor flops to the ground. 

Harry turns on his heel and picks me up effortlessly from the ground. I’m grateful, tucking myself into his arms and surrounding myself with his scent. I know people are staring, at my proximity with Harry as well as my disgruntled appearance and Harry’s bloody, broken knuckles. We get to the parking lot and Harry sets me down as we reach his motorcycle. I gasp out, stumbling on wobbly legs as I search for Ashton’s car, remembering his promise to be here on time. 

“I sent him home.” Harry says sheepishly, rubbing one hand behind his neck, but keeping the other around me so that I stayed steady. “Needed some alone time with you, princess.” 

I wonder if he’s referring to the picture. I don’t want him to bring it up yet, so I decide not to ask for my phone yet. I pick up his hand, wincing at the bloody mess it’s become. I press my own hand to my mouth and kiss it lightly, bringing it softly against his hand. 

Harry looks at me with a broken expression in his eyes. He grabs the hand I placed on his own and presses it against his heart once again, just like the night before, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. 

My chest didn't hurt anymore. Tear stains are still present on my cheeks and memories of today won’t ever fade but here, it's all okay. Here, with my hand against Harry’s heart and his eyes telling me that maybe he belonged to me just as much as I belonged to him. 'Here' was safe and happy, even if it was only just temporary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //:EDIT:// Follow me on tumblr! I will be updating there primarily, and i will also be updating little snippets of each chapter there before i even come out with the complete chapter as well as oneshots and prompted writings. I will be uploading them all to AO3 but it may be a while later. So go follow me and send me prompts!!
> 
> So, I tried. :/ Thoughts? I would love to hear you guys' theories on what happened with Niall and such. I really really _really_ enjoy you guys' comments. I would love any suggestions you guys have for this story. I do have a story line going here, but its all very loose right now and fillers are always really nice and easy to write quickly. I write quicker when i have more motivation. Comments = motivation ;) 
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who has commented and kudos'd so far. I know i don't reply to them all but they really all mean the world to me. Also, i have a break the week after this upcoming one so maybe if there are enough comments, i'll update super quick within next week? Also expect an update for Things Money Can't Buy soon. Love you all xxx


	6. I know

“It’s not going to happen again.” Harry tells me for the eighth time today. We were lying in the large bed of his dorm, my body pressed tightly against his as he murmured reassuring words in my ear. 

“I know,” I whimper lowly, digging my face into his neck, comforting myself with his smell. 

Harry’s grip around my waist tightened. “No, Niall.” He says, confusing me a bit before he continues. “None of that is happening again—not with that _freak_ of a teacher, and definitely not with that kid you brought to the party last night.” He growls, tucking my head against his neck and keeping me pressed there.

He hadn’t brought the whole Josh thing up yet, and I was hoping that he wouldn’t, but I knew it was going to happen at some point. 

I shiver lightly at his tone, praying that the fact he didn’t know Josh’s name meant he wouldn’t go looking for him. 

“Might have to pay him a visit for thinking he could touch you.” He says lowly, beginning to bite at my ear. 

I whine, high in my throat, “No.” I say, “He’s just my friend.” I try, pressing my hands against his chest.

Harry rolls his eyes as he lets me push him away slightly, detaching his teeth from my ear. “Does he know that?” He asks, sounding annoyed but not moving away from me completely. 

Anger surges through my body- something feral and raw that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Between all of the memories of what I faced in Ireland revolving around my head all day and now Harry’s possessiveness over a relationship that didn’t even exist—something snapped. “What does it matter?” I ask, my voice louder than usual, making Harry jump.

After the initial shock of hearing me raise my voice, he narrows his eyes at me. “Why does it matter?” He asks, his voice skeptical and trying, giving me a chance to take it back. 

I sit up, away from his arms, ignoring the way he flounders and tries to pull my back into his arms. “ _Yeah, Harry_. Why the heck does it even matter to you?” I ask because it really doesn’t make sense. 

My head is pounding at the loudness of my own voice and my heart is already clenching in my chest, telling me to just apologize to Harry and let him cuddle me. 

For once, I ignore the feeling and cross my arms over my chest, trying to suppress the apprehension that is building. 

“Because you’re _mine._ ” Harry retaliates, his eyes burning with anger as his fists clenched. 

“No I’m not!” I shout, louder than him, and both of us are properly flabbergasted for a moment. 

Harry surges forward, pressing my wrists down against the bed and putting his entire weight on my lower body, effectively holding me down. My heart rate spikes and I have to remind myself for a moment that this is Harry, not anyone else, it’s Harry, and he won’t hurt me (at least not physically). “You’re mine, Niall. You know you are.” He growls, green eyes staring into my own intently. 

My lower lip juts out and I know for a fact that I’m about to start crying. Harry seems to sense it too, because his angry eyes are softening. I push against the hands that are restraining me, wanting to cover my face as tears begin to slip from my eyes. “I don’t want to be yours if you’re not mine.” I admit quietly, my body shaking underneath him with quiet sobs. 

Harry’s hands move away from mine as soon as the words are out of my mouth, and I barely catch a glimpse of a terrified expression on his face. Before I can think about it, he’s halfway across the room, pressing his face into his hands. The room is suddenly quiet, save for the quiet sounds of my cries and the subtle shouts from some boys watching a football match downstairs. 

Harry is shaking his head, pacing around the room. He’s pulling at his hair and I begin to understand that it’s somewhat of a nervous habit for him, something he does when he’s frustrated or angry. He wipes his hands on his face and as he removes them, I see the resolve written on his face. Unfortunately, there’s also more rage there as well. “I- I’m not yours.” He barks, shaking his head vehemently. 

I begin to curl in on myself as he continues because _‘I know, I know, I know.’_

“I’m not yours and I’m never going to be. I’m going to fuck around with whoever I want to and you can just deal with it. You’re mine, which means if anyone touches you—I don’t care if you want them to or not—I’ll beat the shit out of them.” Harry snarls, his eyes crazy and distant. 

Tears are now freely falling down my cheeks as I shake my head. “I-I am _not_ going to let you control me like that! And I know what you did at the party, telling everyone what we did? Who do you think you are?” I accuse, still surprised at my ongoing courage. Though my mouth is spewing words, my brain isn’t moving along with them. I can feel my hands starting to shake and I know that I need to just start taking my freaking pills. 

“Who do I—Who do you think _you_ are?” Harry shouts, “You should be thanking me! I don’t have to be hanging out with you or go around saving your twink ass! You know what? I don’t need you. There are tons of kids out there who will be more than willing to dye their hair blonde and present their ass to me like a bitch in heat!” He yells, face reddening in exasperation. 

I stare at him, letting his words sink in for a minute before closing my eyes and breathing out in defeat. 

Of course, I knew what I had with Harry was based off of pure physical attraction, but I had thought so surely that somewhere along the way he had found something in my personality that he liked too. 

I get up from the bed, wiping my face as well as I can. “Can I have my phone back?” I ask softly, watching on as his face crumbles. He drags himself over to his jacket that had been discarded earlier. He took my phone out of the pocket and dropped it lightly into my palm, not looking or touching me directly. 

“Get out.” He muttered, as if I wasn’t already on my way. We make eye contact one last time, my watery blue eyes matching up to his dark, frustrated green eyes. 

I look away and rush from his room, pretending like I don’t hear the scream of frustration and the following bang of something against a wall. 

Tears rushing down my face, I run from the house, ignoring the cat calls and hollers coming from a few of Harry’s drunk Fraternity brothers. My entire body is wracked with a combination of shivers and sobs and my chest is heaving. Walking home doesn’t even seem possible, but its not like I could be seen looking like this and there wasn’t a chance of Harry driving me home.

The walk home is long and difficult. I’m getting looks from people on campus. I feel myself freaking out, hating the attention that was being brought forth just because I was crying and walking down the road in the middle of fall. Some people even pointed me out to the group they were with.

I find myself wishing I had never met Harry. 

* * * *

Two weeks pass and I don’t hear from Harry. Greg starts calling every other day, restarting the old routine we had when the year first started. Ashton doesn’t ask about the lack of Harry in my life and in turn, I stop asking about Luke. The day after I ran from Harry’s room, Josh starts to ignore me. I don’t specifically ask him, nor do I hear from anyone else, but I suspect it has something to do with the nasty looking bruise curled around his jaw that is just now beginning to fade. 

He doesn’t look me in the eye anymore and though he definitely hasn’t said a word about it to anyone, I know it was Harry. 

So, once again I fall into my routine of calling Greg, doing homework and falling asleep to Netflix. Ashton starts going out with some older guys and though he does sometimes come home, drunkenly laughing or sobbing, most nights Ashton doesn’t come back at all. So, I spend my nights alone, studying and dreading each coming day like I did the month before I met Harry. 

I don’t tell Greg anything on our calls, but he notices that something’s up because he tells me that he’s buying tickets for me to come home the day after Halloween. It’s an hour and a half flight to Dublin, and I hate flying, but all I want to do anymore is go home. 

I spend the day before Halloween laying around and pitying myself, wondering if I did the right thing with Harry. 

I miss him; of course I miss him, so much. It’s a weird feeling because I only knew him for a week and he had frustrated and hurt me so much in that short time. But he had also cared for me. He saved me from a situation I might’ve never gotten over and he saved from an anxiety attack. He gave me my first kiss and he gave me some confidence in myself and _I missed him_. 

Ashton walks into the room, slamming the door loudly, startling me out of my stupor. 

“Ah, Nialler, my lovely.” He sighs in content, dragging me off my bed and onto his, cuddling me close to his chest. 

I squirmed uncomfortably, trying to resist while giggling lightly. “Ash. No.” I whine. 

He laughs loudly, about to let me pull away when my phone buzzes. I roll my eyes, pulling away from the Australian boy as I grab the phone to see who’s texting me. 

I nearly drop my phone when I read who it’s from. 

**_From: Harry_ **   
_Havin a Halloween party 2morro at the frat. U should come._

I blink at the words owlishly, suddenly reminded of the first and last time he invited me to one of his parties. 

“What is it?” Ashton asks, making me gasp a little.

“Um—nothing.” I try to say nonchalant but Ashton sees right through it, grabbing my phone quickly, before I can even think to turn it off. “Hey! No!”

Ashton smiles at me as he reads the text. “Yes, Nialler!” He squeals. “This is perfect!” 

He begins typing something back, holding me off with one hand as he types with the other, ignoring my desperate calls for him to stop. “We’re going, Nialler. No questions about it.” 

“No! Ash, you don’t kno-“

“Okay, so I don’t know what happened between you two, but you’re hurting and that’s not okay with me. You’re not doing anything on Halloween and I’m not letting you stay home alone. Plus, the Halloween parties at DLP are crazy.” He says, smirking at me as he hands me my phone. 

I scroll through my texts and quickly open the one with Harry, sighing in defeat as I see Ashton’s response. 

**_To: Harry_ **   
_Maybe._

“Plus times two, Niall, you’re going to look smoking hot and make him regret hurting you.”

I give him a menacing look. “I’m not going, Ashton.” I huff angrily. 

“Yes, you are, you’re going to come with me and whoever my date is and we’re going to show Luke and Harry that we don’t need their stupid asses.” 

I begin to understand why Ashton wants to go to this party. I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I say sadly. “I don’t want to—I just…” I sigh, knowing that Ashton will end up convincing me anyway. “What am I going to be?” I ask in defeat. 

* * * *  
To say I felt ridiculous would be an understatement. Make up around my eyes and flicking out whiskers along my cheeks, along with the black, furry kitten ears placed artfully in my overgrown hair, I felt like an idiot. Ashton came over to me, make up on his face as well and giggles as he moves the headband in my hair around so the band isn’t visible. Taylor squeals along with a few of the other girls in the room, clapping her hands together. “You look adorable, Nialler. You too, Ash! This might just be my best work yet.” 

I blush darkly, not yet comfortable with any of the people in our room at the moment. Ashton just smiles at her gratefully. “Now what outfit should little Nialler wear?”

“Just briefs!” One of the girls, Melanie I think, shouts. 

Ashton shakes his head, tutting at her like a parent. “Control your thirst, girl, he’s tryna bag some hot douchebag tonight.” 

“I say just put him in those old athletic shorts you almost wore to yoga a few weeks ago—before I told you they were too short—and then a plain black tee.” Taylor advises. 

Ashton nods in agreement, rotting through his drawers and throwing me tiny looking shorts and a larger black tee shirt. He then goes into the bathroom with me and helps me into the little shorts and the black tee shirt that nearly covered the shorts entirely. Ashton’s face slants a bit, sighing as he brings the front of the shirt up, tucking it slightly over one side. He grins at that as the shorts, and my legs, are more revealed. “There.”

We walk out to see that Josh and a couple of other guys I’ve never met before have joined the girls. Ashton goes over to greet the guys, obviously recognizing them, as Taylor brings one other element to my costume up to me. “And the final touch.” She says, grinning at me widely as she clips the loose, fake, black collar around my neck. I laugh a little as I move my bed, a bell ringing every time I took a step. 

“T-that might get annoying.” I sigh, trying my best to show Taylor that I appreciate her help. She smiles at me, nodding her head in agreement. 

“At least you look perfect.” She winks, walking over to tell the others that we were all ready to go. 

Ashton claps his hands together excitedly. “Alright,” He grins, grabbing my arm. “Let’s go!”

* * * *  
The party was huge. 

People were everywhere, grinding on each other, drinking off of each other, and it was so loud. I couldn’t hear my own thoughts, let alone hear half of whatever Ashton was yelling to me as he dragged me towards the kitchen of the house. I tried to ignore the eyes that were dragging over us as we made our way through the house. I made a note in my head that Ashton and I were two of the few guys who actually put work into our costumes. Most guys had a football jersey on, some had bed sheets tied over their shoulders, and the most common would definitely be the “werewolves” (aka all of the ripped douchebags wearing jean shorts and no shirts).

If it wasn’t for Ashton’s hand in my own I probably would’ve been on the ground, having a full fledged panic attack. I had taken my meds this morning, but they didn’t seem to be helping anymore since I had been stuttering and tripping all day. 

We finally make it to the smaller and quieter section of the kitchen, where there are only a few people, flirting around and mixing their rum and cokes with vodka and any other liquors they can find in the fridge. 

“Okay, so what’s the plan?” Ashton asks me. 

I look at him incredulously. “I-I-I hate this kind o-of thing, Ash. Wh-why would I have a- a plan?” I sputter. 

Ashton looks at me a bit guility. “Um- right. Well, at least there are a ton of hot guys, right? And they’re all looking at us, so score?” He says questionably. I glare at him. He knows I hate attention. 

“Right, okay, it’s not my fault we’re the hottest people at this party.” He pouts, crossing his arms. I can’t help but smile a bit. 

“Niall!” I hear a familiar deep voice call. I turn just as Zayn walks in, looking absolutely perfect in what seems to be a generic, “sexy policeman” costume. “You look—damn. “ He says, actually taking in my appearance. “Well shit, Ni.” He laughs. “You look really hot.” He says, looking over my shoulder for a minute. “So does your friend.” He said loudly as he winked. 

I blush brightly at his compliment. “T-thanks.” I say, cursing my own stutter. “You look really n-nice too, Z.” I smile genuinely. 

Zayn smiles back, looking down at himself. “I know, right. I’ve already been, like, jumped on by so many chicks. Someone stole my handcuffs, too.” He pouted. 

Ashton laughed loudly, finally joining the conversation. “Looking forward to using those, eh?” He asks cheekily. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Zayn smirked back and Niall rolled his eyes in his head. 

“Um.” Niall coughed, sensing the tension that was suddenly surrounding the room. 

Zayn’s eyes refocused on Niall before cutting away quickly. “Well-“

“Zayn!! Come dance with us!” Two blonde girls call, sticking their heads into the kitchen from t he living room. 

Zayn smiles, putting his hat back up right on his head, “Well, duty calls.” He laughs, going out to join the girls. 

“Wow.” Is all Ashton says. 

I nod in agreement because, really, Zayn is perfect. 

“Ni.” Ashton says in a pleading voice and I watch as his eyes drag over where I can see Zayn grinding on one of the girls that had called him. 

I gape at him, he dragged me to this party, forced me to go along with him, and now he wanted to ditch me. 

I shake my head, actually feeling angry at the Australian. “Fine, Ash. I’ll be in here. You better be back here in an hour or I’m going home.” I say, taking the car keys out of his back pocket. He smiles widely, kissing my forehead calling as he runs out, “You’re the best, kitty!” I glower at his retreating figure.

I hop up onto the counter, pulling out my phone, ready to start checking my flight and making sure everything would be in order. I’m clicking around on my phone for a little bit, trying my best to entertain myself. I’m about to get up and try to shove my way to the door so I could just go to the car until Ashton was ready, but a voice stops me. “Well, well, if it isn’t the little kitten that everyone’s raving about.” A posh accent asks, and I jerk my head to the side to see an attractive guy walking into the room. I recognize the boy’s blazers as one from Alpha Delta Phi. I vaguely remember Greg hating that particular fraternity, and all I can hope is that maybe Greg’s hate was unwarranted. 

“Um. W-what?” I ask timidly, suddenly finding my hands very interesting. 

There’s a laugh echoing in the room and I look up just enough to see I’m the only one left in the kitchen besides the stranger. 

“You and your friend caused quite a ruckus out there with some of the boys. I see your friend has embraced the attention,” He says, gesturing to where Ashton is being wooed by multiple guys. “But you’re in here, alone. Why?” The boy asks, leaning against the counter across from Niall. 

I shrug, blush on my cheeks, “Parties aren’t my thing.” I say, laughing humorlessly. 

The boy gives me a weird look, sticking his hand out to me, “I’m Justin.” He says.

I clench my jaw at his hand, not wanting to touch him without really knowing him. I place my hand in his for a second, only for him to drag me off the counter and give me a proper once-over. 

“I-I’m Niall.” I whisper, not liking the aura this guy is giving off. 

“Well Niall,” He whispers huskily, “I hope I’ll be seeing you around.” Justin says, brushing past me closely as he walks out. 

I watch him leave, eyes scared and confused. As he exits through the door to the back room, he knocks into another boy. My eyes widen as I recognize the face and stature and I instantly turn around and begin to fiddle with an empty cup. 

I hear a slight pause behind me, Justin muttering something like “My bad” and the other just grunting out “Yep.” 

_‘Oh god, oh god, oh god’_ I repeat in my head. There’s no way I can face him with dignity, not after what he said to me. 

I was replaceable to him and he could find anyone like me. He doesn’t want me for me and I need to accept that. 

I nearly whimper out loud when I feel his presence behind me. I don’t dare turn around but I breathe out heavily, trying to gain at least some self-control. “Niall,” He breathes, his chin hovering just above my head. His arms come around to around where my hands are gripping the counter and places his own right next to mine, so I’m trapped against him. 

I clench my jaw and turn to face him. He looks gorgeous, as always. He isn’t dressed up as anything, just wearing his usual black skinnies and white v-neck. His hair has been cut since the last time I saw him, short enough that he can’t pull it back into his man bun. Other than his hair, he looks mostly the same, only he looks a lot less angry than he did the last time I saw him. His eyes are remorseful and his posture is slumped, his face is only centimeters away from me and every time his chest heaves, I can feel the cool metal of his necklaces against my own shirt. 

“Harry.” I nod, looking up at him with reservations. 

He looks at a loss for words, yet relieved; as he knocks his forehead against my own, “I-“ He stutters for the first time since I’ve met him, “I’m sorry for what I said to you, Niall.” He says and I’m flabbergasted. Did he just apologize to me?

“W-what?” 

“I’m not saying it again, princess.” He says, eyes closed as he leans closer to me. When I don’t respond again he sighs. “I- Can we talk?” He asks, jerking his head up towards where he came, the stairs. 

I’m hesitant, and when it comes down to it, I really do know that I shouldn’t have anything to do with Harry, but I go with him anyways. My heart flutters as he takes my hand gently and begins to pull me up the stairs. The fluttering stops when a familiar face stops Harry in the hallway on the way to his bedroom. It’s that brunette from the party all that time ago, looking extremely slutty in a “devil’s costume”. 

_‘Suits her pretty well.’_ Some snooty, jealous part of my brain whispers as she places her hands on Harry’s chest.

“Harry, darling, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” She crows as she basically leaps into his arms. Suddenly, I feel out of place. My hand is cold in Harry’s and I know its just jealousy but my chest still thumps wildly and my throat closes up.

“Funny, I’ve been avoiding you.” Harry retorts, pushing her away gently and moving past her, tugging me along desperately.

I hear her scoff in surprise and she grabs his arm, “What is that supposed to mean?” She asks venomously. 

Harry raises an eyebrow at her, “I’ve moved on.” He says and her eyes immediately focus maliciously on me. Harry seems to realize his mistake, stepping in front of me protectively and growling, “Back off, Kendall, we were never even a thing so get over it.” 

I wince at his harshness. 

“What, are you Niall? Huh little guy?” Kendall asks teasingly, her tone dropping to one you would use when speaking to a child. “This is the kid you were calling out for last weekend when I was blow-“ 

Harry cuts her off, shoving past her and basically throwing me into his room. Even though he slams his door and locks it, we both hear her call of, “Enjoy it while it lasts, sweetheart, because it won’t!” 

I don’t meet his eyes, but I don’t find myself particularly upset. Why would I be upset over something I already know to be true? 

I shrug at Harry when I meet his eyes, not sure what he wants me to do. “I mean… are you okay?” He asks hesitantly. Once again, I shrug. 

“Not like it’s something I didn’t already know.” I say quietly, feeling only a little bit guilty when his face falls. 

The air is awkward and I just want to go home and sleep. Then I can _actually_ go to my real home and see Greg and everything will be okay, at least for a few days. 

I jump slightly when Harry’s hands place themselves onto my thighs, squeezing them lightly. I look up and am surprised to see Harry in front of me. He grabs my hand and places it against his own heart tightly, and he’s clenching his jaw hard. My eyes sting as I look back into his eyes. I missed him so much. 

“Niall. I know I was an asshole and I know you don’t deserve this kind of treatment, okay? And I’ve only known you for, like, a few weeks, I think, but I feel like I’ve known you so much longer.” He says softly, sounding guarded and sort of embarrassed. “I know you can’t handle me not being yours and I understand that now—okay? After 2 weeks of you not being mine, I get it. I spent every hour of those weeks just wondering where you were and who you were with and if they were touching you or—“ Harry cuts himself off. “I get it, okay?” 

I nod slightly, urging him to continue. “And, I know I won’t be very good at it at first, but if you’ll be mine again, then I’ll be yours too.” He says uncertainly. I try my best to keep from smiling, but my emotions become a bit too much, a wide grin spreading over my face. Harry, seeing my grin smiles back just as wide. He lets my hand go away from his chest and grabs me around the waist to pick me up a little, then place me on the bed underneath him. “So it’s a deal?” He asks, a bit humorously. I giggle lightly and nod with hooded eyes as he presses us a bit closer. Hesitantly he brushes his nose along mine before kissing the corner of my mouth softly. My eyes flicker shut as he painstakingly makes his way to the center of my mouth, kissing me hard on the lips and immediately pushing his tongue into my mouth. 

I missed him and his mouth and his taste and this contact and there’s not a single stutter in my heartbeat even though it’s quickening and everything feels healthy and fine. We lay there kissing until late hours of the night, where I tell Harry in a rush that I have to go to my dorm and get ready to catch my flight in the morning. He shakes his head and tries to convince me not to go, but ends up driving me to the dorm anyway, seeing as Ashton and the group had left long ago without me. He sat on my bed and hummed the song “High Hopes” by Kodaline until I was ready to go and he drove me to the airport. 

As he hugged me goodbye, as far as he could go at the security check, He mumbled a quiet, “Be safe. You’re important to me.” And placed my hand against his chest once more as I stood on my tippy toes to kiss him. 

When I look back from my place in line he’s tugging at his hair, but there’s a small smile on his face. He look like he’s laughing a little bit as he walks away, waving to me one last time before I had to go through the gate. 

As I begin to feel the anxiety of flying in a giant metal death machine, I wonder if maybe Harry is in as terrifyingly deep as I already am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this wasn't my best chapter :( 
> 
> I'm sorry if it was too long of a wait for a not so great chapter. I would really love any comments/feedback you could give me :) 
> 
> Find me on tumblr here---> narrystroanwritings.tumblr.com  
> I write niall-centered oneshots/chaptered prompts.


	7. Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I KNOW ITS BEEN FOREVER AND I'M SO SO SORRY.
> 
> I think I've got my summer schedule now though, so that SHOULD help out a lot. Hopefully, I'll be able to update my two chaptered fics one week, and then the next I will write two/three one shots (over on my tumblr) [narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com] so every other week, updates can be expected, but not promised ;_;

When Greg had offered to bring me home, I had assumed it was purely because my older brother understood that I needed a break from the terribleness that was university.

Apparently, I was wrong.

“Niall, I don’t understand why you’re acting like this is such a bad thing.” He says, looking at me as if I was the one leaving him.

I don’t respond as I stand up abruptly, refusing to spare a look to the woman beside Greg. I leave the room quickly, feeling the tears of rejection and anger leaking from my eyes as my chest pounds. I hear Greg calling for me but I ignore his yelling for the first time in my life. I rush out the door, breathing in the rain after grabbing Greg’s keys on the way out. I start the car rapidly, before he can stop me from leaving. I get a glance of my brother rushing from the doorway as I pull out, but I don’t stop enough to let myself feel bad for the heartbroken look on his face.

I drive.

I drive for a long time, not having a real destination. I pull to a stop when I get to a familiar park, a decent ways from my house. The second I put the car into park, I burst into tears. All of the emotions from the past day hit me like a train wreck. Everything from the quick and terrifying feelings that have been constantly building for the past few weeks about a boy I barely knew and also the huge piece of information that Greg had told me today. My chest feels like it’s exploding as I pick up my cellphone. My sobbing stops just for a second as i realize that I can’t call Greg to comfort me

Because this time, Greg is the one I need comforting about. Almost deftly, my fingers type out a barely familiar number, and a sob catches in my throat as the dial tone rings. I let the sob out, tears spilling from my eyes as the lady’s monotone voice rattles out about leaving messages.

“H-harry,” I cry into the phone after the tone beeps. “My m’brother he’s.. he’s getting married H-harry and he’s leavin’ me a-and-” Another sob leaves my throat, making my voice pained and breathless, “I- I dunno why I’m even calling you. I’m- s-sorry.. bye.” I click the phone off, cries overcoming me as I think, _‘idiot, idiot, idiot.’_

I spend a good hour and half crying in the parking lot of a deserted park, the clouds pouring rain all around me. When I hear the first crack of thunder I immediately begin making my way back home, knowing that there’s no way I’ll be able to survive a night in the thunder alone. I shiver and snivel as I realize that I’m going to have to face Greg and his.. fiancé after the car ride.

More angry tears rush to my eyes and I dash them away quickly, trying to ready myself for the wrath that my brother will unleash when I get home.

Only– Greg isn’t there when I get home. Denise opens the door to my persistent locking, red rimmed eyes looking relieved as she opens her arms for a hug. Obviously seeing my shoulders tense, she drops her arms immediately, “Sorry-” She blurts, ushering me into the house and into the living room, where the fire is roaring. She has me sit down next to the fire after she makes me change into warm, dry clothes.

“Really, Niall, I’m so sorry.” She starts, handing me a cup of what must be hot cocoa. 

I open my mouth, immediately wanting to apologize as well, but she cuts me off. “I mean it. I don’t completely understand your.. condition- not that it’s a condition or anything bad bu-”

“It’s okay.” I interrupt and she gives me a thankful smile.

“-It’s just.. and I really don’t want to seem like I’m overstepping some kind of boundary here, but.. Greg deserves to be happy, Niall.” She says carefully. I feel 100 times worse. “He loves you so _so_ much, Niall. More than he loves me.” She retorts, not a single ounce of bitterness in her words. She smiles at him with tears in her eyes. “You know that if you told him- really insisted that he don’t marry me that he would break it all off?” She laughs, shaking her head adoringly. “That man loves you, Niall, and I know you love him just as much.”

I nod in agreement, tears fllling my eyes as I realize that she’s completely right.

“All I ask is that… you let him try to be happy, yeah? I promise that I’ll do anything and everything to make him and you as happy as I can. I promise that I’m not stealing him away from you, not that’d he would ever let me try.” She remarks, chuckling lightly. “Can you please, Niall? Let him try?” She says, her tone almost begging me.

I’m nodding before she can finish her sentence. “I’m so sorry, Denise.” I say, my voice cracking and she just shakes her head, looking like she wants to grab me up into her arms. I don’t tell her it’s okay to yet, because I’m still hurt and kind of wary around her. The second that she’s opening her mouth, Greg bursts through the door. He’s soaking wet and his eyes are burning with what may seem to be anger, but Niall’s knows to be complete and utter worry.

“Niall.” He warns, his voice low and his eyebrows furrowed. Denise looks like she’s about to step between the two, but Niall just stands, allowing Greg to get right up in his face. “Niall.” He says again, this time his eyes filling with tears, just like everyone else’s had this night, pulling me close into his chest. “Can you stop making me worry all of the time, please?” He asks, his voice a whisper.

I just shake my head, smiling when I hear him chuckle. When he finally lets me out of his arms, I see that Denise has left the room, giving us a moment to ourselves. “Niall, look. If you really don’t like Denise… then I’ll end it. It’s okay. You can move back here and work at the restaurant with me and it’ll be-”

“Greg…” I whisper, my eyes trained on the ground as I address him. “She’s really great. I want you to be happy, so please, be happy.”

I meet his eyes and see that they are surprised and a bit wary. “Niall, really?” He asks with a childish excitement lingering that I hadn’t seen in him for so long.

“Yes.” I agree, my chest still pounding, my eyes still stinging.

“Does that mean you’ll be my best man?” He asks, eyes lit up with joy.

“Yes.” I repeat, throat still burning, and hands still shaking.

Greg looks like he’s about to cry again, looking around the room for Denise and I let out a forced laugh, gesturing to the kitchen. “Go, celebrate.” I say, trying to sound like I’m joking. Greg usually would’ve picked up on these kinds of things but… what can I say? I knew that having her around would change him completely.

I trudge up to my bedroom, keeping in my own tears until I finally close the door behind me. With Denise around, Greg and I would never be the same. We would no longer have enough controllers for everyone to play Fifa and we would never again be able to buy just 1 box of hot pockets.

My heart jumps as my phone lights up with a buzz, and I rush to open a message from Harry.

**From: Harry**   
_Whats happened? couldn’t understand ya voicemail babe_

**To: Harry**   
_Not important. We can talk about it when I get back._

I reply, eager to start the new “relationship” that Harry promised.

**From: Harry**   
_are ya sure babe cuz ya kno u can always talk 2 me_

I blush, imagining his own thick accent saying that same words.

**To: Harry**   
_Yeah, I can’t wait to see you._

**From: Harry**   
_Baby!! can’t wait 2 see you 2. miss ur arse ;)_

My eyebrows furrow, not entirely loving the last part of his message before I can think about responding Harry’s sent another message.

**From: Harry**   
_When does ur flight land 2morrow? Ill come get you._

I give him my flight information, smiling as if that other message hadn’t even happened. Probably just regular horny college boy thing.. I shake my head and tell Harry goodnight, and go to sleep before I can worry about it.

* * * *

The following day is worse than the day before, believe it or not. I walk downstairs to some cheesy 70s song playing, Greg and Denise dancing like some old married couple in the kitchen whilst the breakfast burns away. I stand frozen in the doorway for a good two minutes until Greg recognizes me and blushes, apologizing. “Sorry about that, Ni, you ready for breakfast?” He asks, and Denise shuts the music off. I shrug, sitting at the bar, shooting Denise an estranged look when she sits next to me. _‘just because we had a little heart to heart last night does not mean we’re best friends.’_ is what I want to say.

Instead, I eat my toast.

* * * *

When Greg drops me off at the airport he hugs me, blabbering on about how he’s going to miss me but all I can think is, ‘no, no, no he won’t. why would anyone in their right mind miss you?’ Greg must sense the faraway look on my face because he snaps in my face, giving me a small smile as he hugs me once more. “I love you, alright?”

I shrug again. Greg rolls his eyes, shaking me a bit. “I love you, _alright_?”

I give him a laugh. “Alright, I love you too.” I mumble, allowing him to hug me again.

As I walk to my gate, Denise shouts ‘Bye Niall! We’ll miss you!’

For no particular reason at all, I want to flip her off.

* * * *

When my flight lands, my hands aren’t shaking nearly as much as they usually are after a plane flight. For some reason, not taking my pills had become somewhat of a habit for me. A part of me thinks that it might be a good habit. Like Harry said, when I didn’t think about it, it was kind of like my body didn’t notice it.

It takes shorter than usual to get my bags from baggage claim, and I easily make my way to where taxis usually pick people up. It’s a little before 6pm, which is the time I told Harry to get here, so I take a seat on the bench, preparing to wait a little bit.

* * * *

An hour later, my hopes are deflating. My hands are shaking again and it’s getting dark. Despite the lights and people surrounding me, I have never felt so unsafe in my life. I had called Harry twice and texted him three times, each had gone unanswered. _‘He’ll come’_ I try to reassure myself, sitting on my hands to try and stop them from shaking so much.

 _‘He’ll never come’_ the voices reassure my nerves and I feel like screaming.

* * * *

One hours turns to two, and finally I’m calling Ashton. Ashton doesn’t pick up. I call him three times and My heart is hammering against my chest and it feels like everyone is staring at me again. I don’t even know what to do at this point. I had never taken a cab on my own and I wasn’t too keen on starting now, when i’m already on the verge of a panic attack. I slowly but surely run out of options, calling Luke to no avail and even Josh. With wet eyes and a shaking voice, I swallow my pride and call the one person who I thought had probably completely forgotten about me by now.

Zayn pulls in within 20 minutes, looking confused as he asks me, “Why do you look all upset, did someone forget to pick you up or something?” He says this as he puts my luggage into his trunk like a gentleman and all, rubbing a hand down my arm as if he was the one who wronged me in the first place. He’s just so, so beautiful and so kind and his eyes are soft and I just fall into his arms, letting out a few tears as I sniffle out that Harry was supposed to pick me up. His arms tighten around me as I say the words and I can tell that he’s bothered by something. 

I eye him nervously as we finally get into the car and start driving away. It’s been a couple minutes now of silence and I can see his hands tightening around the steering wheel angrily. “Look, I- I hope I didn’t i-interupt your day… th-thanks for getting me, Zayn.” I say softly, hoping to ease his anger as much as I can. 

Zayn spares me a side-glance, looking apologetic. “It’s no problem, really, Nialler. I’m sorry if I was making you uncomfortable. I was just thinking.” he says, his voice sounding like he wanted to talk about it.

“Well… I’m all ears.” I joke, hoping to come off as friendly seeing as Zayn, out of all (not like I had many, but still) of my friends was the only one who would even pick up his phone.

“I just don’t get it Niall.” He says, and before I can ask what he means he continues, “Why do you let him treat you like this?”

I blink, because I honestly wasn’t expecting this from Zayn. “Who?” I ask, skeptically.

Zayn balances his gaze at me, looking unamused. “Harry, obviously.”

Once again, I blink at him, my face blank. Weren’t Harry and Zayn supposed to be best friends? I asked him the same question and he rolled his eyes. “Of course we are, meaning I know just how cruel and irresponsible he is.”

I open my mouth, trying to formulate words but none come out. There’s nothing I can say now to defend Harry, despite how badly I wanted to.

“I just don’t get how a boy like you ends up with a guy like him.” He says, shaking his head. “You’re just so… cute and harmless and innocent.” Zayn says, and Niall’s heard that one before. “And Harry- Harry is the completely opposite.”

“Well…” I huff, suddenly feeling a bit antsy. “Opposites attract?” I try.

Zayn chokes out a laugh, shaking his head. “Not this kind of opposites, Niall. You deserve to be loved. I’m not even sure that Harry’s capable of the emotion.”  
Niall doesn’t respond to that, and Zayn doesn’t elaborate. 

It’s goes unsaid that Niall isn’t sure of that either. 

It takes a few minutes for Niall to realize that they definitely aren’t going towards Niall’s dorm. Niall looks to Zayn nervously as he squeaks, “Um, I’m sure you probably already know, but uh, my dorm is not this way.”

Zayn laughs, moving a hand truffle through Niall’s hair affectionately. “I know, Nialler, I thought maybe you and I could hang out?” He says, grinning over at Niall. “Unless you don’t want to.” He says, looking as is he’s teasing, but there’s a serious, kind, edge to it that makes Niall immediately more comfortable with the tanned boy. 

Endeared, Niall nods, “Where are we going then?” He asks, confirming that he wanted to hang out, making Zayn smirk. 

“To the frat.” He says, noting my eyes widening comically, “Don’t worry. He- he wasn’t there when I left.” He says, his voice low.

I close my eyes, letting the information wash over me. Well, at least this meant that there was a chance that Harry didn’t blatantly fogey about me. Maybe he was… busy… with school..? 

I shake my head, demising the thoughts as Zayn pulls into the frat car park. He leads me by hand up to a room I had yet to be in. We get several shocked glances, a couple waves from Liam and Louis, and even a few cat-calls that make me blush and Zayn flip off the offenders. Zayn’s room is similar to Harry,s grey walls and large bed, neat and tidy as well. Despite the similarities, Zayn’s room is much more homey. There are several paintings scattered along the walls and floors, some famous and others obviously original, yet still remarkable. There are stacks of CDs and art books on Zayn’s desk and a sketchbook is open on his nightstand. Casually, I sit on his bed and admire the room around me. “Wow.” I say, smiling at the tanned boy in wonder. “I didn’t know you were into art.”

Zayn shrugs. “Not many people do.” He says flippantly. 

“Zayn,” I breathe, absolutely astonished as I peek at the open sketchbook, the open paged filled with unfinished drawings of a familiar blue-eyed, feather haired boy. Zayn rushes to flip the book closed, an adorable blush on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from mine. I almost want to coo as a smile spreads across my face.

I smirk at him knowingly, but don’t say a word.  
“Shut up.” Zayn groans, flopping onto the bed next to me, clamping a hand around my grin. 

“I didn’t say anything.” I remark, giggling behind his hand.

He glares at me playfully. “I draw loads of people. In fact I’ve done tons of you.” He says, smirking as I blush. 

I’m about to ask to see them when my phone begins to buzz. I look down at the caller ID and sigh heavily when I see Harry is calling. One part of me wants to answer immediately, hear his excuse and take it as the word of god, and forgive him immediately. 

The other part.. well, the other part of me wants to ignore it. The brave side rising again, I click the red icon on my phone, silencing the call. When I look back up at Zayn his eyebrows are raised, impressed. Before either of us can say a thing, my phone begins to buzz again. I repeat the process again, silencing the phone once, and then two more times after as Harry continues to call. Once Harry realizes that I’m not picking up, I get several messages. 

**From: Harry**   
_I know I know I fucked up, shit._

**From: Harry**   
_Are you still at the airport?_

**From: Harry**   
_Niall._

**From: Harry**   
_Please just pick up my call so I can apologize or come get you or anything. Please Niall_

**From: Harry**   
_Are you at the airport??_

**From: Harry**   
_Alright I’m coming._

I scoff as I realize that being worried must somehow fix his grammar. I pull up my messages, debating if I should actually let him go out to the airport for me to not be there, when there’s a heavy knock on Zayn’s door followed by the doorknob twisting vigorously. 

“What the hell?!” Zayn yells at whoever is behind the door, and Nial suddenly remembers that he’s in the older boy’s room.

“Zayn, mate, you gotta let me borrow your car.” Harry calls desperately from the door. Zayn levels Niall a look pushing the blonde into his closet and grabbing his keys. Niall is shoved into darkness, his chest hurting a little as he hears Zayn open his bedroom door. “Why do you need my car?” He asks, acting as if he doesn’t already know.

“Um- I-” Harry stutters and my eyes widen as I realize that he’s trying to come up with a lie. “My- dad. He needs me to help him move something for my grandma. So I can’t use my motorcycle.” He says, obviously lying through his teeth. Confusion and anger fills in my chest, hand in hand with the anxiety as I grip the sides of the closet.

Zayn is silent for a moment. “Since when do you give two shits about what your dad needs?” He asks, his voice angry and low. Harry doesn’t seem to mind, or maybe he doesn’t notice in his haste. 

“It’s for my grandma, c’mon, Zayn, please.” He begs, and Zayn sighs.

“Whatever.” He grumbles, disappointment in his tone and I can picture the look on the tanned boys face already. He hears jingling and the door closing and suddenly I’m being tucked into Zayn’s arms once more.

Zayn is shaking his head as confused tears fill my eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that weekend. “He isn’t good for you, you can do so much better,” Zayn is repeating over and over and I know he’s right..

So why do I only want Harry? 

Zayn walks me back to my dorm in the cloudy weather, a friendly arm around my shoulder as we talk about Louis and Liam and stupid shit that isn’t distracting me from Harry nearly as much as Zayn thinks it is. I shrug when Zayn apologizes, tell him its not his fault, because it isn’t, and hug him once more before returning to my dorm. I turn off my phone when I enter my empty room, not eager to read any of Ashton’s apology texts or hear Luke’s voicemails. I drop into bed after taking off my clothes, burrowing under the covers and try my best not to think about the shit I’m going to have to deal with tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are very much appreciated, I would love to hear what you guys think about the characters and/or what you all think should/will happen in this fic :)


	8. No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, these prompts come from my tumblr-- narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com

Going back to classes was not fun. Though I knew that when I went to bed last night, there were too many other worrying factors that were on my mind last night that this particular one didn’t even match up. Luckily, I didn’t have to go to Professor Beckham’s class ever again, and he had seemingly held up his end of the deal, seeing as I had gotten a 97 in the class and was then dismissed till next semester. I still woke up early, though, sure that Harry would be waiting outside my dorm, or my class, or something ridiculous like that. I turned my phone on as I was walking to my first class– for some reason, Ashton didn’t ever come home last night. I realized as I thought this that Ashton had probably mentioned why in his voicemails, so i hesitantly turned my phone back on. Once the white screen went away and I was met of the background, a cutesy picture of myself and Harry that he had taken just before I left. The picture leaves a painful feeling in the back of my throat. 

I have a couple of messages, most of them from Harry, but also a few from the people who i tried to call. I had a missed call from Luke, and a couple from Ashton. There were 5 from Harry, along with a voicemail that I pretended not to care about. 

**From: Luke**  
_Sorry I didn’t pick up the phone, what’s happening?_

**From: Ashton**  
_Niall, please pick up my phone calls what happened?? You sounded so worried on the phone…_

**From: Ashton**  
_Okay well, I’ll call you tomorrow but I’m doing something really important for the next few days.. i won’t be at the dorm till like Wednesday maybe_

**From: Ashton**  
_Sorry Ni, please call me back_

**From: Harry**  
_Okay, I’m at the airport. You have to tell me where you are so I can get you._

**From: Harry**  
_Niall, I know you’re angry at me but I don’t want you to be alone any longer, c’mon._

**From: Harry**  
_I promise not to talk to you if that’s what you want, just tell me where I can get to you._

**From: Harry**  
_Okay, I’m going to look for you._

There are no more messages from Harry. The only thing left is his voicemail, which I tentatively listen to as I near my ‘Music Theory III’ class. The phone beeps and there’s suddenly heavy breathing on the other side of the phone. “Niall.” His deep and raspy voice curls around my name, making me shiver involuntarily. “I’m at the airport right now, and this lady just told me that you- you were here for a few hours before you got into a big-black car with some- guy…” He huffs, and Niall can hear his anger seething through the phone. “Who the fuck was he, huh?” Harry asked, sounding frustrated and maybe even concerned. Niall almost felt guilty. “She said he had dark hair- car like mine–” Harry stops, apparently just realizing exactly what happened. There’s a harsh silence radiating through the phone until his dark voice growls. “Fucking Zayn.” Before hanging up abruptly. 

Niall lets out a quiet gasp, staring at his phone with a wide mouth. He walks into the near empty classroom- giving the kind old lady a sincere smile before making his way to his seat. Quickly, he types out a quick message to Zayn- who’s contact had been changed to a “Zenn (:” late last night. 

**To: Zenn (:**  
_Hi._

I sends it on impulse before biting my lip nervously, mentally smacking myself in the head as I send another message.

**To: Zenn (:**  
_I meant to ask how you were doing today. What’s up?_

That was better… right? That sounded normal.

People begin to shuffle in as the older lady starts class, droning on about how music changes emotions and feelings and that kind of stuff. Usually I was really into this class but with Zayn and Harry both on my mind, I could barely think straight. 

The professor dismisses the class a couple of minutes early like she normally does, and I practically run from the classroom. I check my phone as soon as I’m out, and I see that I have two messages from Zayn. 

**From: Zenn (:**  
_Nothing’s up, Nialler- why, wanna hang out?_

**From: Zenn (:**  
_I meant to add that no, Harry didn’t beat me up last night ;)_

I blush, even though I know he can’t see me and I immediately text him back that I’m sorry, and that I would like to hang out. Thirty minutes later, the exact time that Zayn said he would pick me up, he arrives. Mentally, I note how much better I like this than when Harry randomly shows up at my door, no notification of when I should be ready and looking presentable enough for him. Zayn smiles at me as I get into his car and immediately he asks several very impersonal questions, mostly about my day and my classes, and I answer them whilst trying not to bring up Harry. When we get back to the frat, Zayn seems to notice my frustration. 

“After he brought my car back last night, he yelled at me for a bit and then sped off on that motorbike of his. Nobody’s heard from him since. Trust me, I wouldn’t want you around him either.” Zayn says, a pitiful huff leaving his mouth. 

I scramble to follow him as he leaves the car. “So, he didn’t hurt you?” I pry, wanting to reassure myself that what I did didn’t end up injuring my new friend. 

Zayn scoffs. “No.” He gives me a side glance, rolling his eyes at the worried look on my face. “He couldn’t beat me up if he tried, Niall. And he wouldn’t try. I’m basically the only one who puts up with his shit– on occasion.” The amber-eyed boy replies, opening the door to his room and allowing Niall inside. 

Zayn’s room was just as clean and calming as it was the day before. “What do you want to do?” Zayn asks, tossing his wallet and his keys on the dresser. 

I shrug, shifting my bag uncomfortably on my shoulder. 

“Well,” The darker skinned boy states, sitting up and grabbing what I recognized to be his sketchbook. “I want to draw you.” 

Dropping my bag to the floor carefully, I made my way over to the bed, sitting down gracefully. “Alright.” He agrees. “Where do you want me?” 

“Any position that’s easy to hold. This is gonna be a good one, Ni, I can feel it.” Zayn says, smirking as I tentatively flop down onto the fluffy pillows that smell exactly like the amber eyed male himself. “Ace.” He murmurs lowly. 

I doesn’t remember when I closed my eyes, but soon enough I find myself drifting off to sleep to the sound of a pencil sketching across fine paper. 

When I jerk awake, the world outside is dark and the pencil scratching noise is long gone. I look around the room hesitantly, slightly relieved when I see Zayn, a bit hunched over his sketchbook, laying down adjacent to me. His dark lashes against his cheek, I can see why so many people are obsessed with Zayn. I coo a bit as he snores himself awake, nearly falling off of the bed in the process. I giggle lightly at the look on his face, astonished and confused, and I don’t stop even as he glares at me. 

It takes a minute for me to calm down, but even as I do, Zayn is glaring playfully at me. He gives me the silent treatment for a whole five minutes until he gets tired of me whining and poking his cheek.

“I need to get home.” I mutter unhappily as I see the clock reads 8pm. I’ve missed my usual dinner and study times, but the nap I had taken felt so rejuvenating that I couldn’t make myself care. It takes a minute for that to sink in. I had missed a part of my schedule. Usually, this thought alone could send me into a panic attack, but here, chuckling and rolling my eyes with a friend, I felt completely not panicked and utterly normal. It relieved me knowing that I could feel like this without Harry being with me constantly. _‘Maybe I don’t need Harry after all..’_ the happier side of my brain chirped. For once in my life. The malicious voice decides to stay quiet.

It’s raining outside, but for some reason, the quiet thunder in the distance isn’t freaking me out nearly as much as it should be. 

As Zayn drives me home, we listen to the 1975, both of us humming a bit in harmony, and I’m happier than I’ve been in a while. 

That happiness disappears when we both recognize Harry’s motorcycle, despite the pouring rain. We can barely see anymore through the constant flow of water falling from the sky, so we both let out little screams when the passenger door is jerked open, and I’m lifted out of the car. I’m almost immediately soaked and I yell out, pushing at the person who’s all of a sudden grabbing me and dragging me towards my dorm. 

“What the- fuck, Harry!” Zayn shouts as he exits his car, and of course it’s Harry. The brown haired boy pays him no mind, chest rumbling and eyes unclear as he manhandles me through the rain and into the dorm’s lobby. Zayn is still yelling at Harry as he finally puts me down under the cover of the dorm’s entrance. 

“What the hell was that?” Zayn asks, nearly breathless from all of his yelling. 

“What the- what the mother fuck are you doing with Niall? Huh, _mate_?” Harry spits, “Or are we even mates anymore? Seeing as you’re hitting up my boy while I’m away.” 

Zayn laughs, harsh and cold, it makes me shiver seeing as an hour ago I was hearing that same laugh, only completely different. “ _Your boy_? Are you sure you want to say that here, Harry? We are in public, you know? You wouldn’t want anyone to know that you’re actually falling for Greg Horan’s younger brother, huh?” Zayn growls, his words venomous. “He is not your boy. And he won’t be until you get the fucking balls to admit that you were wrong-”

“Shut the fuck up Zayn!” Harry roars. “You know nothing about our relationship- you know nothing-”

“Actually, I know everything, Harry. You know, seeing as I’m the one he’s been with while his shitty excuse for a boyfriend– oh sorry, I forgot that you weren’t able to fucking commit to a single thing in your life ever, let me use a more derogatory and hurtful word for Niall- while his shitty excuse for an ‘owner’ is off doing fuck all.” Zayn yells right back, not stopping for a single moment. “You know you don’t deserve him, you know you’re hurting him, so why the fuck are you doing this, huh?”

“Because I li- Because-”

Zayn chuckles darkly again, “Because you like him? Love him maybe? Why the fuck are you stuttering around this like it’s a bad thing? Are you that much of a fucking douchebag that you can’t even make… _your boy_ happy for 3 seconds?” Zayn seethes, his eyes narrow. “You’re so fucking pathetic yo-”

Harry shuts him up by punching him in the jaw, a single uppercut, making ZAyn reel back, hand clutched to his lower jaw in pain. 

Nobody’s dared to look back until I make a noise, a loud and pained gasp. I’m sure that by now my face is completely red and wet with tears, heavy sobs shaking through my body and leaving in disgusting, audible breaths that catch in your throat. I don’t remember when I got on the floor but i was leaned over on the floor as if I was the one punched. 

Zayn doesn’t say a word as he regains his stance. Harry’s eyes are back, trained on me now, but I can personally see the guilt and anger in his eyes. 

“Leave, Zayn.” Harry tries to order, his voice sounding defeated and in anguish. 

Zayn looks like he wants to. He really, really does. But he takes a short breath in, shaking his head. “No, I’m not letting you stay around him like this.” He says sternly. 

“I-” Harry looks close to tears as he chokes. “I would never hurt him, Zayn- I” Harry looks back at his best friend, wincing as he sees the cut forming on Zayn’s once perfect face. 

Zayn laughs completely devoid of humor. “Yeah. Though you would never hurt me too, but here we are.” He shrugs. 

Harry stands, already stomping over to get back into Zayn’s personal space and I cannot let this friendship be ruined because of me. _‘I’m basically the only one who puts up with his shit…”_ Zayn’s words return to me. I can’t leave Harry without a single friend in the world. Been there, done that. It’s not fun. 

“No-” I start, my voice croak-y and ugly. I stand shakily, moving back as I see Harry take a step to help me. “It’s okay, Zayn… he can- he can talk to me.” I sigh, rubbing my hands against my eyes tiredly. 

“Niall-” Zayn begins, not looking one bit happy. 

I shake my head, “No, really, he won’t hurt me.” I say. “Physically, at least.” I mutter quietly, but considering the quiet strangled whimper I hear from Harry, i think he may have heard. 

Zayn, looking uncomfortable and a bit angry, walks over and hugs me, purposefully slow as we can both sense Harry’s anger rising. By the time Zayn’s done, Harry’s near growling. Zayn places a kiss on the top of my head and Harry snaps, ordering the darker haired boy away and dragging me into the dorm. 

We get to the dorm in complete silence. I walk in after unlocking it and sigh, pulling out my pajamas and walking into the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it. After I finish getting ready for bed, I walk out into the room, where Harry is standing right where I left him. Now he’s wearing one of Ashton’s shirts. It’s a bit small and makes his arms look absolutely amazing, but I try not to linger on that thought. I sit on my bed stiffly, ignoring the way his gaze trails up my brief-clad legs.

I shake my head when he tries to get closer, “N-no..” I stutter, trying my best to sound commanding. Though I’m 100% sure I barely sound menacing, Harry knows not to mess with me right now, so he just sits down on the floor against Ashton’s bed, a good five feet from me. 

“Niall,” He starts, trying to look me in the eyes although I’m desperately avoiding his. “I don’t understand why you’re acting like this…” 

I look up, finally meeting his eyes, my face screwed up in what must be complete disgust. “You don’t… Harry, I-I know you’re not stupid so please, do-don’t act like it.” I stutter– in front of Harry, which is something that he doesn’t miss. His eyes shine with hurt, self-anger, and confusion. 

“I left you at the airport, okay? I understand that you’re angry, but-”

“I’m not even that mad about that!” I said loudly, once again surprising the both of us. 

Harry blinks. “Then what are you mad about?” He asks carefully. 

“I’m- I’m mad because you-you freaking lied about it.” I say softly, an angry lump in my throat forming. “You needed the car– and you felt the need to lie about why you needed it.. to your best friend.” I whisper sadly, tears forming in my eyes as I angrily swipe them away. “If you have to lie to your best friend about– about doing the littlest thing for me– then what the heck is going to happen when your fake friends and frat brothers want to know why you even bother to smile at me?” I whimper, thinking that I already know the answer.

Harry’s eyes have turned dark, apparently not hearing what I was really saying because his only response is a low, “He told you?” 

I roll my eyes and laugh wetly, seeing that all of my true fears were just undermined from both my brother and my boyfriend(??) within the same week. “He didn’t have to tell me.” I say, rubbing my eyes. “I was there.” I clarify with a sigh, not at all expecting his reaction.

He laughs. It’s dark and angry and very familiar yet not recognizable at all. He’s shaking his head and getting up from the floor, making me scoot back even farther. “Of course you fucking were.” He says, shrugging. “Probably were letting him fuck you, huh?” He snarls and I barely have it in me to be offended. 

I just sigh, because i've heard it all before. It’s all too customary. “No, Harry, I wasn’t.” I say softly. “We’re friends. He picked me up from the airport when you forgot, it’s not like I called him and got him to pick me up instead of you, Harry. I waited for two hours for you. Two hours, and you didn’t show up so, yeah, I decided to get another ride.” I say, running a hand through my hair, feeling absolutely done with Harry’s insults towards my infidelity (if you could even call it that?) 

“But you chose Zayn to piss me off didn’t you?” Harry seethes, pacing around my room and I’m baffled. 

“I thought you’d appreciate if I chose Zayn. He’s your best friend, why the hell wouldn’t he be your first choice to help me out?”I ask, and Harry doesn’t answer so I just laugh, shaking my head. “I-I called everyone I knew, Harry, alright? Keep in mind I don’t have nearly as many… “friends” as you. Not many people drop everything to come and help out the freak with the stutter.” I say, jaw clenched. 

Harry’s eyes break for a moment but stay stern as he ignores most of what I say, per the usual. “You knew all along didn’t you. You knew it would kill me if you chose him, so you did.” He repeats, making me laugh again, tears once again leaking from my eyes. 

“No, Harry.” I say, shaking my head and laughing. I realize that I probably looked like an absolute mad man. “I don’t like causing you pain with what I say and do, alright?” I sigh heavily. “No, I don’t like doing that because I’m nothing like you.” I say, and the room is unbearably silent. “I don’t personally enjoy seeing you upset, crying, or angry. It doesn’t make me feel better to see others in pain because I’m not a freaking– I’m not a bully like you!” I shout, and I can feel the brave part of my brain applauding me. 

Harry is silent, his eyes narrowed and hard as they glare at the floor. 

“I really- really– I feel something for you, Harry. And it’s intense and scary and I understand w-why you’re so sc-scared but- I can’t take this.” I whimper. “We’re too different.” I say, the dread in my stomach telling me that I’m too different for pretty much everyone. 

“No-” Harry starts, obviously understanding where the conversation was going. 

I nod, despite his protests, standing up, ready to show him to the door. 

“No!” He shouts, “I’m not letting you- Niall-” Harry says, jaw set. 

I sigh, turning back to look at him, ready to turn him down one last time but he- 

Harry’s much closer than I had expected, his nose bumping into mine when I turn. Immediately, I push myself against the door and he follows, leaning his his head so that his forehead is against mine. He takes my hand, gently into his own and presses it against his chest so I can feel his heart beating erratically against my hand. He’s shaking his head, an action I can only feel since I’ve closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy this moment. 

“I’m not-” Harry takes a deep breath, pushing against me even more, “I’m not letting you leave me.” He whispers. 

I can’t respond before he’s forcing his way further into my personal space, kissing me deeply as if it’s the last time he’ll ever get to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH WHY DID THIS TAKE ME SO LONG TO WIRTE ;_; 
> 
> Once again guys, I’m in summer school for another week so I’m afraid bad updates will be the norm for just a little longer. Then I have four books to read for school next year :) :) :) I love my lifffeeee
> 
> Also, any ideas of where the story is going or where you want it to go LET ME KNOW


	9. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com
> 
> School has started up, so yes, updates will be slower. Sorry guys :\

Kissing Harry was always game changing. No matter how annoyed or scared I was at the given time, kissing Harry always did something to me that was intense and confusing. 

His hands go to my lower back, forcing me off of my feet. My legs kick out a bit spastically at first, but eventually I get the hang out it, kissing him back with ferocity and allowing my legs to cling to his strong body. His hands are hiking up my shirt and making me moan out loud, into his own mouth, and I never want this to end… but-

“Stop, Harry, n-no.” I force myself to muster when he tries to kiss down my neck. I push his head away, making him blink wildly at me. His eyes are tired and broken and I’ve never seen Harry so vulnerable. It makes my heart pound and I can’t help but feel uncomfortable because I’m so used to being the one who constantly needs reassurance and help but now I’m faced with this decision.

One side of me wanted to hug Harry and stay with him until he felt confident again, but nearly every time I was met with a full fledged self-assured Harry, he would chip off another piece of my already injured heart. Another side wants me to just give this time and hope for the best, but the last part of me just wants it all to end. 

“I just… I- I think we need to take time…” I begin, sighing heavily when I see Harry get ready to argue with me. “No, Harry, l-listen. I’m not saying ‘never’, alright?” I try to reassure him in any way that I can but I know my words sound detrimental. 

Harry scoffs lightly, voice hurt as he responds, “So what, you just want me to wait for you to be ready for me?” 

I shrug, remarking. “I want you to- to prove t-that your worth all of this p-pain.” I say, hearing my own voice shake dangerously. “I just w-want to be able to- to trust you.” 

Harry looks borderline angry, but my words seemed to have had some kind of impact on him because of his sudden shudder. He nods mutely, taking my head in his hands and whispering. “I’ll make you see that I can be what you need. I _am_ what you need.” He says and _‘i know’_. He kisses my forehead tenderly before striding out the door, swagger in full check as if he hadn’t just had a complete breakdown. 

I flop onto my bed, still not knowing what i’m getting myself into.

* * * *

The next morning, I wake up to the blaring alarm. I groan loudly, wiping my eyes groggily before getting up and ready for the day. Once I walk into the bathroom, I’m met with my disgusting morning appearance. 

The lilac that used to be dyed into my hair was now faded, and inwardly groaned as I realized I would have to go get a haircut soon. In thinking about my hair, I completely forget to take my pills, but that seems to be becoming a trend for me. Ever I’ve stopped taking the pills, I feel less on edge and overall happier. Greg would probably kill me if he knew I was off my medication, but I ignore that thought and continue getting ready. Shaking my worries away for the moment, I brush my teeth and decide to conceal the mess that was my hair with a dark colored beanie. 

Before leaving for my classes, I send Greg a text, asking him if he could get me a hair appointment with someone here in London. He responds immediately, saying that he will and I can at least believe that he cares a little bit. 

Once again, I force myself not to think about the fact that the wedding is due in a month. I nearly jump out of my skin when there’s a loud knock coming from the door. I warily check through the peep hole, knowing that Ashton wouldn’t be returning for at least another day. 

I let out an involuntary surprised noise when I see the person on the other side of the door, and I open it quickly. 

“Um, hi, Louis.” I say, nervously. “A-and Liam.” I add, fidgeting with my fingers as I acknowledge him. 

“Hey Niall.” They both chorus and I shoot them both a small smile. 

I don’t want to sound rude or step on anybody’s toes but, “Um, why are y-you here?” I ask, and Louis lets out a loud laugh. 

“What? We can’t come visit a friend?” He asks, but there’s a nervous edge to his voice that immediately makes me suspicious. 

I shrug. “I guess, b-but I have classes to g-get to.” I admit. 

Louis and Liam share a look and nod. “Alright, well can you just tell me- Have you talked to a guy named Justin Bieber recently?” He asks and my eyebrows furrow. 

I shake my head, “I don’t t-think so.” I stutter, but then backtrack quickly. “Wait, is h-he from Alpha Delta Phi?” 

Both of their faces are solemn as they nod. “Oh. Th-then yeah. For like o-one second.” 

Once again, they share a look with each other and Louis leans in dramatically. “Look, Niall, that guy is… well, he’s-” 

“He’s no good, Niall. You shouldn’t trust him.” Liam interjects and Louis’ head jerks around, confusion clear on his face.

“Li-” He begins, but then the stairway’s loud, creaky door is resounding through the hallway. 

The unmistakable clomping of Harry’s boots makes its way down the hall and Liam and Louis have successfully moved to the other side of the hall, both looking guilty. My face is screwed up in confusion as Harry’s dark green eyes cut across the hall and look between the three of us. 

He looks angry right off the bat and I know the look in my eyes is one of a warning. He takes one look at me and sighs, walking over towards me with arms open wide. I hold back a smirk and allow him to hug me, glaring at the two boys across the hall over Harry’s shoulder. They get the memo, rushing down the hall before Harry has time to turn around. 

“Wait, where did they–?” Harry begins but I cut him off, walking down the hall as well. 

“I have to go to class.” I say when he rushes after me, and grabs my hand, as if he was going to drag me back to my room. 

He groans as I pull my hand away, thus pulling him along too seeing as he wasn’t letting go anytime soon. “Can’t you just skip this time?”

I shake my head, “No.” 

Harry whines the entire way to the annex building, trying his best to convince Niall to skip his classes so they can talk. 

Once they arrive to the main building Niall stops, an annoyed look on his face. “Harry, I’m not going to skip my classes. You do realize that this whole time that we’ve been walking you could’ve talked to me about whatever’s so important?” I say, completely pissed off until I realize that I said those sentences without stuttering once. 

Harry looks bit stunned and maybe a little angry, but I turn on my heel and walk away into the building. I sigh as I hear Harry’s boots once more chasing after me, but he doesn’t say anything. He just walks next to me, solemn look stuck on his face. 

Right when he decides to start talking, I see a terrifyingly familiar face that I had somehow forgotten about before. 

I stop dead in my tracks, making Harry jerk backwards and give me a confused look. He follows my gaze and his face instantly changes to a stormy, death glare that makes me shiver. 

I hadn’t thought about Professor Beckham for weeks. The last memory I have of him was from the nightmares that plagued me the days following his attack. Harry looks malevolent at best, nostrils flaring as he stares down the professor. 

Of course, just at that moment, the professor himself looks in our direction. There’s no bruising around his face at all, showing a testament to how long ago that day was. Professor Beckham sends me a smirk, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry. I clench my jaw, grabbing Harry’s hand tightly in an attempt to not only calm him down, but also myself. 

It all goes to shit when the professor winks, smirk still confident on his face. Harry lets out a loud growl, moving down the hall with me in tow, despite my scared yelp. “Harry NO.” I hiss, but he completely ignores me, immediately getting up into Professor Beckham’s space. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Harry asks, chest to chest with the affronted looking professor. 

Beckham obviously didn’t expect Harry to actually approach him, because a nervous look crosses his face. “Sorry, Harry, I’m not sure what you’re taking about.”

I wonder for a split second what kind of game this guy is trying to play, but then I meet eyes with an important looking man walking out of a large office, right behind Professor Beckham. Harry seems to notice this too, because a knowing sneer makes its way onto his face.

“What, you mean you don’t remember what you did to little Niall here?” Harry asks, and my nails are digging into his bicep, begging him to stop talking. He completely ignores me, and the man behind professor Beckham looks confused and intrigued, not saying a single word yet. Beckham looks terrified, but tries to keep his cool, shrugging at Harry warningly. 

“Harry…” I plead, because I _cannot_ do this again.

I can't be _that_ kid again, I can't do it, I can't.

To my absolute chagrin, Harry ignores me once again. “Like that time you tried to _rape_ Niall-” 

“That’s enough, Harry.” Professor Beckham says loudly, but the damage has already been done.

“Excuse me?” The man behind Beckham voices, a shocked look focused on Harry. “Harry, Is this true?” 

I don’t stop to think about why this man knows Harry’s name, or even who he is, because I’m busy trying to convince Harry to not completely ruin all of our lives. 

Harry spares me a single glance, jaw clenched, but he simply turns back to the man. “Yeah.” 

Beckham is frozen where he stands, petrified look on his face as the important man orders, “Beckham, in my office, now.” He then turns to me, asking, “You’re Niall?” His voice is soft, and I think it’s because he can see the tears in my eyes. I yank my hand out of Harry’s and I nod once. 

He nods, “Harry, Niall, stay here and wait for campus security.” 

Harry sits down in one of the chairs as the important looking man walks into the huge office and closes the door. The door is marked with _‘Chancellor’_ and I feel like throwing up. When I turn back to Harry, his eyes are still glinting, as if he’s prideful and happy of what he’s done. It’s all too familiar in the situation where he’s perfectly happy and my heart is breaking. I look away from him, sitting three chairs away from the one he had chosen and I pull my knees up to my chest. I close my eyes, trying to stop myself from the ultimate freakout that I know is coming. All of the jitters from seeing Beckham to Harry’s betrayal of my trust _again_ , is all too much. Not to mention the voice in my head reminding me that I didn’t take my pills today. 

I don’t even notice that I’m shaking until I feel a warm, steady hand holding me still. Harry’s calm and collected voice is cooing in my ear, telling me to calm down and persuade me that everything will be okay. Even though he’s the person that I least want to be comforting me at the moment, he’s the best at it. I hear voices around us, mostly from staff asking if I needed a hospital. 

Once I feel like i can breathe without my chest exploding, I shove Harry off of me. He gets that wounded puppy look on his face all over again, looking hurt and confused, but I just ignore him like he always ignores me. I get back into my own chair, facing my body away from where his is positioned in the chair next to mine.

Before Harry can go off on some rant, the campus security enter the building, each with stern looks on their faces. A couple of them enter the room where the man that must’ve been the Chancellor disappeared to earlier. The other officers stop in front of us with more stern faces. 

“Alright, the accuser, and the victim, right?” One of the woman police officers says with a dubious look on her face. Harry narrows his eyes and nods, standing in front of me protectively. 

“Niall got attacked and I stopped it.” He confirms, “And now I’m telling the truth about it.” He says defensively and I can’t eve nook at him. 

“Well, we’re going to have to talk to you both– separately.” She clarifies, motioning for Harry to follow her. I can sense Harry trying to look me in the eyes, shuffling extremely slowly into the room that the other officers left through, but I refuse to look at him. I can’t force myself to look at him because he’s the reason that we’re in this situation. 

I wait alone for about ten minutes before a new face enters the front office, a tall, familiar figure adorned with a preppy looking jacket. 

“Niall?” Justin Bieber asks, looking confused at my presence in the office. 

I send him a small smile and a wave in greeting, not yet trusting my voice. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asks, looking around the empty office before sitting down next to me. I give him a quick once over and I can’t really understand why Liam and Louis have a problem with him. 

“Um…” I mutter, not at all sure what excuse I could have for this. “Harry.” I decide, shrugging as if this wasn’t my problem. It seems like a viable option seeing how familiar the chancellor and Harry seemed to be. 

Justin nods, believing me instantly. “You know, Niall, you should really be careful around that guy.” He says and I nod because obviously, I know by now. “I mean, I heard about you guys and your.. relationship-” He rolls his eyes, “-and I’m just telling you that Harry is not as genuine as you think.” He says, and my heart stutters.

“What do you mean?” I ask, but before Justin can respond, the Chancellor walks out of his office and he begins to make his way towards us. 

“Here,” Justin says, pulling out a pen and paper and writing out his phone number neatly before handing it to me. “Call me if you want to find out the truth about Harry.” He says, getting up and walking through the office door, nodding to the Chancellor in acknowledgment. 

My nerves return full force and I stand up anxiously, greeting the Chancellor nervously.

“Niall, right?” The man asks, face looking concerned and I give him a small smile. 

“Yes. Um, N-Niall Horan, Mr, uh-” I stumble because I didn’t even know the chancellor existed until today. 

“Chancellor Styles.” He says and my heart drops. 

My face must explain it all because he lets a hearty laugh leave his mouth. “Yes, as in, I am Harry’s father.” He sighs. “Not that he likes to refer to me that way, but..” He trails off and I’m absolutely speechless. 

He seems to take my silence as answer enough because he moves on. “Look, Niall, my son has had a lot of troubles in this school. As Chancellor, I’ve been able to keep most of it on the down low, but this is serious, Niall.” He says and I feel like we’re making some kind of deal. “This could ruin lives.” He says, sombre look on his face and I nod because I’m aware.

“I’m not the o-one who brought it up.” I say sourly, and he clenches his jaw in agreement. 

“Harry has a funny way of showing affection.” He says softly, and honestly, I think Harry just has a smart way of ruining his least favorite teacher’s life. “Anyway, listen to me. If we take this to court, Beckham could easily get away with it, and it will ruin both your and Harry’s name, and that’s the last thing any of us want.” He remarks. 

I don’t know what to say, so I just nod along with what he’s saying. 

“So, we’re going to let him _‘quit’_ and then he’s going to work somewhere else.” He says, emphasizing the word ‘quit’ with air quotations. “And neither you or Harry will ever see him again.”

I sigh in relief, because really, that’s all I really wanted. “Ye-yes, please let’s not g-go to court.” I stutter, and he nods. 

We spend another few minutes reviewing the things that I would have to do to keep all of this out of the public eye. I would have to continue the music history class that I had previously dropped (with a new teacher, of course) and none of us could tell anybody any of what happened today. 

Halfway through our talk, Harry had come out from being interviewed and all of the officers left. He looked confused at seeing me talking to the chancellor– a.k.a. his father. I’m still stunned about that bit of information, but I can’t even begin to deal with it until I get through the rest of this day. Once again, I ignore Harry’s desperate looks, and he tries to butt his way into our conversation but Chancellor Styles orders him away. “Not now, Harry, you and I are going to have a talk once Niall and I are done. You can wait.” 

A few minutes after Harry stormed back into the room he was previously in, obviously annoyed and angered, an officer comes out from the chancellor’s office, and notifies us that professor Beckham would be leaving soon.

I instantly get up, and stutter my way through thanking them both and rushing off quickly. I forget the fact that I probably should’ve asked for permission before leaving, wanting nothing more than to curl up in my bed and cry. 

* * * *

After getting into my pajamas and having a good cry over the happenings of the day, I find myself cuddled back into my bed, little tears leaving my eyes periodically. There were so many thoughts running through my mind and so many of them revolved around Harry and the betrayal I felt from him. And now his _father_ is in the picture and 

My phone rings, shrill noise making me jump out of my depressed stupor. I look to see who’s calling and I pick up, trying to feign happiness in my voice. “Hey, Greg.” I say, trying my best not to fall apart at the sound of my brother’s voice. 

“Hey, Ni, how’re you doing, bud?” he asks and I sigh loudly. 

_‘my teacher tried to rape me and my.. friend(?) promised not to tell but then he did tell and now i know for sure that I can’t trust him even though I really really really really want to and all I want to do is go home but I can’t go home because you’re getting married and i- i-’_

“I’m doing alright, h-how’re you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to write but hey the plot is starting to thicken >:) >:) how do you feel about harry spilling Niall’s secret?? and HARRYS DAD???? OMG?? Also justin has info on harry .-. let’s hope its nothing too bad… or maybe its not even true :\ so many questions, poor little niall


	10. Crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com

Waking up to an empty dorm room was still something I was getting used to. The past few days had been so eventful I had almost forgotten about Ashton’s little trip. He said that he might be home today, but I don’t know exactly what to expect. 

During my phone call with Greg last night he had told me that their wedding was officially set at the beginning of December. that way, he and Denise would be home for my Christmas holiday (he also went as far to encourage me to bring a plus one– something I didn’t appreciate at all). Greg also said he would set me up a haircut, and then he told me that he and Denise had taken it upon themselves to set up an appointment with a therapist. I hadn’t seen a therapist since I was 13 when our mother was getting treatment. Of course I fought with him but eventually I got too tired and turned my phone off for the night.

Once I turn my phone back on, I instantly get a couple of texts from Zayn, Louis, and Harry. 

Zayn’s was a brief message asking if I wanted to hang out today seeing as we hadn’t seen each other since Harry’s episode, so I instantly agree, telling him that he could pick me up after I finished studying if he wanted to. Louis’ was another text asking if I wanted to hang out and I have never had this problem before in my life. I text him back, telling him I’m busy with Zayn today, but I could another day. And then Harrys… 

**From: Harry**  
_Can we talk Niall please? I know you know about Des._

Well, In all actuality I have no idea who Des is, but there isn’t a single part of me that wants to find out. I leave his text unanswered, and get to studying before Zayn comes to get me. 

Two hours later Zayn shows up, a big grin on his face as he hugs me tightly. “How’re you?” He asks and I don’t know how to answer. 

I simply laugh it off, telling him I’m fine and direct the conversation towards him. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. 

We spend a couple of minutes debating what we should do, but before we make a solid decision, Greg sends me a quick text, telling me that he had scheduled me a haircut like I had asked him to the night before. “Do you want to go to my haircut with me?” I ask timidly, secretively wanting him to come with me as my nerves rev up. 

Zayn looks a bit taken aback, but as he sees the look in my eyes, he agrees, “Of course, Niall.” 

The entire journey of going to the haircut place was a bit of a trip. My timidness is getting the best of him, all of the perfect looking hair dressers looking at me with what my mind registers as judgement. Zayn does most of the talking, which is embarrassing but necessary. 

“So,” The stylist, a nice looking guy named Dan, comments. “What do you want to do?” He asks, brushing his hands through his new canvas– a.k.a. my hair. 

I shrug, looking to Zayn with a questioning gaze. 

“Oh no, Ni, you’re not putting this on me.” He says with a laugh and Dan joins him. 

“You want to know what I recommend?” He asks and I can feel the dark blush on my cheeks as I nod. “You’d be a pretty hot blonde.” He says and Zayn instantly jumps to agree.

“Wait, yes, Niall.” He says, his eyes lighting up. “Go blonde babe!” He cat calls, making me huff as my blush darkens even further.

I take a minute to contemplate it because I've never been blonde. my hair had been brunette my entire life until high school when I finally went lilac. Since then it had always been the same, and this would be a big jump. “Okay. Please don’t mess up my hair.” I say, covering my face with my hands uncomfortably. Dan laughs, and promises that he won’t. 

It takes a good two hours* until Dan is ready for me to look at my hair in the mirror, and I’m petrified. Zayn had gasped out loud when he had first seen me, but the look on his face wasn’t one of terror, so I had my hopes. 

“Alright Niall, you ready?” Dan asks excitedly. 

I nod, eyes screwed shut until he gives me the word. 

“Okay, take a look then.” 

I open my eyes and, after the darkness blurs away, I’m met with my new self. My brunette hair is back, peeking through in my roots whilst the rest of my hair was bleach blonde. My blue eyes were much more noticeable, and I just felt more… comfortable in myself. “I love it.” I say instantly, and i blink away tears because I feel so content but I just lost a piece of myself. the loser Niall stuck in Highschool was gone… hopefully.

After paying up and thanking Dan a few more times, Zayn pulls me out of the building, and we’re both smiling big. “It looks so good Niall, oh my god.” He says for the millionth time. 

“I know, I love it.” I say, feeling confident for what feels like the first time ever. 

* * * *

Hanging out with Zayn always makes me feel amazing. I wish so badly that I had romantic feelings for Zayn, because the way he treats me is exactly what I want. We hang out in his room most of the day, talking about random stuff and laying around. 

He asks about Harry several times but I don’t have much to say. There’s no trust between us, he obviously doesn’t care about my feelings, yet I still want him. There isn’t a single part of me that doesn’t want to be with Harry all of the time– but it isn’t healthy anymore. I’m beginning to think that maybe I was the only one who cared all along. Zayn tries to defer my thinking, telling me that Harry does care about me, but even he sounds skeptical. I can tell that their relationship is still a bit strained. He gets a couple of calls from Harry himself as we’re hanging out, but he doesn’t answer any of them. 

Coming to think of it, he probably should have. 

I only think this as Harry walks straight into Zayn’s room, already halfway through his rant. “Zayn, I need your help. I know you’re still mad but I can’t do this on my own–” Harry looks stunned to see me sitting on Zayn’s bed. 

I close my eyes, awaiting the loud, angry slurs from Harry calling me a slut and a whore, but they never come. I open my eyes after a few second to see him just staring at me. I give Zayn a swift kick and he jumps up. “Yeah, hey bro.” He greets as if he isn’t a little bit worried about Harry’s reaction. 

Harry tears his gaze away form me unwillingly. “I– uh– hey, I wanted to talk.” He says, still glancing over at me periodically. 

“Sure, man, let’s just go outside..” Zayn suggests but I jump up instead. 

“No, no, I should be going anyway, actually.” I say, ignoring both of their protests. “Ashton might be coming home tonight so I should get back.” I say, slipping on my shoes quickly and making my way to the door. “I’ll just walk.” 

Harry grips my arm, and the room goes tense. As if he notices he blushes a bit, “I just– let me walk you, please?” He asks and I want to say no so badly. 

“I promise I won’t make any moves, okay? I just– I don’t like the thought of you walking home alone at this hour.” He says and I sigh, knowing that I won’t be able to say no. 

I tilt my head towards the door, “Fine. Let’s go. I’ll see you, Zayn!” I call as we walk out of the room. We’re silent as we walk through the fraternity. 

When we get outside into the cold, November air, I instantly shiver violently. I can see my breath and I roll my eyes. If I had known I was going to be walking home I would’ve worn a bigger coat. Harry seems to notice instantly because he eyes me closely. “Stay here, alright? Be right back.” he promises, running off into the house quickly. I consider running for a quick minute, but I know that I wouldn’t make it far– plus I was a bit scared of going alone to be perfectly honest. 

Harry returns with a jumper and beanie in hand and I hope that he can’t see my blush in the dim porch lighting. He opens his arms, offering it up. I sniff quickly and let him help me into the oversized nike sweatshirt. He gives me a quick once over and then comes closer to brush a hand through my tousled locks. “You’ve changed it.” He hums, letting his hand linger before he pulls the beanie over my ears. He looks me in the eyes for a second, “You look beautiful.” He says before moving down the stairs of the porch briskly. Before moving down the sidewalk he looks back up at me, obviously waiting on me as he gives me a look.

Looking down at him like that; his hands tucked into his jumpers pockets, hair curling around his ears underneath his own grey beanie, and tight skinnies tucked into his usual boots– I could never stop loving him.

….let’s pretend I didn’t say that.

* * * * 

The walk home is torturous and long. Harry is silent and I don’t know if I’m more upset or happy about that fact. It isn’t until we’re almost halfway there that he speaks up. 

“Why don’t we work?” He asks, and his voice is so sincere that I wish I could comfort him. I wish I could say that I didn’t know why. I wish I didn’t have a reason and I could just stop being so dumb for not seeing that he’s my soulmate and just let him do whatever he wants to me. I wish I could tell him that we could work. 

But I can’t. Because I know why we don’t work. 

“I don’t trust you.” I answer brutally and honestly. My voice is shaky but my resolute is strong.

“But, Niall, everything I’ve done is for you. All I want is for you to be safe and secure and happy, and it wasn’t safe here when he was still a teacher. Look, I knew that Des wouldn’t let this go public, I knew he wouldn’t. I know you didn’t want this to be public, I listen, Niall, I care.” He pleads and I shake my head. 

“I know you care, Harry. I know you care, and I know you like me, and you listen… _sometimes_. Only _sometimes_ you care and _sometimes_ you like me and _sometimes_ I’m yours and _sometimes_ you’re mine, but I can’t deal with sometimes anymore.” I say bitterly.

Harry is quiet again for a bit and I’m sure that he’s not going to speak anymore as we near my dormitory. I’m about to say goodbye as I hear a quite sniff that doesn’t come from me. I turn on my heel and come face to face with something I never thought I’d see. Harry’s staring back at me with red eyes and wet cheeks, breathing heavily through his mouth as he sniffles softly. My breath is taken away.

_Harry Styles is crying._

He shakes his head, reading my mind. “I’m trying so hard. I wish you could see just how hard I’m trying for you, Niall.” He says, voice quivering. “I wish I could be what you want– what you need. I want to be that so bad.” He says and my heart is breaking. “And I know you’re too good for me, and I’m just the bad boy that fucked up before I even met you, but I–”

I grab his arm and drag him into the dorm, sighing in relief at the warmth of the building. We quickly make our way up to my room, avoiding anyone that could potentially see Harry actually having feelings for once. 

We make it to my room and thankfully, Ashton hasn’t arrived yet. His side of the room is still untouched as I close the door behind us. “Harry, you know me. You know the stuttering side of me and the smarts side of me, you know that my favorite movie is Ratatouille and you hate it but you still watch it with me because, well, I like to think it’s because you like me. I know that your dad is the chancellor– I want to talk about the by the way– and I know that you hate a lot of things. I know that you like cats and me, sometimes, and I know that you’re favorite color is green. I know you and you know me, which means you should know by now that I am not– by any means– too good for you.” I say, flabbergasted. 

Harry opens his mouth to respond, but I beat him to it. 

“Harry. You are– I’m not too good for you. Why would you think that?” I ask, absolutely bewildered. This entire time, _I’ve_ been the one who’s getting dumped and hurt and now he’s insecure? “Look at you, Harry. You’re gorgeous and everyone loves you. Look at me. I’m… I’m Greg Horan’s younger brother with a stutter.” I sum up. 

Harry flinches, shaking his head in disagreement. “No, Niall, _look at me_. I’m just some rebel, bad boy wannabe. I’m just an idiot who’s trying to act cool so that people I don’t even care about will like me. But, Niall, you’re an angel and you’re perfect and you’re _everything_. You’re the sun and you’re warm and you’re love and I can’t comprehend how you see yourself the way you do.” Harry says with such passion that I can’t help but pull him down onto the bed with me. There are still tears on his cheeks and his cheeks are flushed with conviction. I tuck my face into his neck and crawl into his lap, hugging him tightly. 

“You mean so much to me.” Harry says sadly, as if he’s already lost the battle. 

I lean back and look him in the eyes. “Do you mean that?” I ask, and his hands dig into the back of my– _his_ sweatshirt. 

“You mean the world to me, Niall.” He confirms and I nod. 

“Then prove it to me.” I say. “Prove it to me that you’re worth the trouble.”

Harry’s sad expression lingers for a moment before realizing the seriousness of my voice. “Wait..” He mutters. “Are you giving me a second chance?”

“More like 8th, but yes.” I say, small smile eating away at my face. 

Harry’s face breaks out into a grin. His face is red and his nose is snotty but I’ve never been so downright fond of someone’s smile in the world. His eyes are crinkled and his nose is scrunched and he looks so genuine. He tackles me to the bed, making purr-like noises as he nuzzled my neck lovingly. “I’m going to be good. I swear. No more parties, no more secret telling, no more…?” He trails off as he counts fingers, looking to me.

I press down on a finger as I list, “No more abandoning, no more name calling, no more over-possessiveness… you’re out of fingers.” I complain and he sticks his tongue out at me. 

One thing leads to another and suddenly we’re in full fledged tickle battle and I can’t help but wonder how I go from my worst night to my best in about 20 hours. 

I guess that’s just the power of Harry Styles. 

A few hours later, we’re snuggled up in my bed and I think that maybe my university life will be looking up after this. Maybe we’ll get it all sorted out. That is, until my phone buzzes, alerting me that my first therapist appointment is going to be tomorrow at 4 p.m. sharp.

Shite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *usually these things take like 4-8 hours but I just didn’t want to take up that much time x.x also I had to rewrite this entire chapter so sorry/not about typos
> 
> SOO we hear the first time about niall’s mother :o also harry’s father? annnd Grenise (lol) wedding coming up soon
> 
> and um... where is niall's sutter??? :o :o :o :o
> 
> Idek how this one ended the first time I wrote it was so much better lol fml


	11. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com

Waking up next to Harry would always be one of my favorite things. 

I’m basically completely on top of him, our legs tangled together and my head on his chest. He’s calmly running his hand up and down my back, hand soothing down the hair around my neck. We’ve been awake for a while now, neither of us saying a thing, just enjoying each other’s presence until my god awful alarm goes off. 

We both jump, and I groan, rolling off of Harry’s chest and turning off my alarm. Harry makes an upset noise, grabbing at me and attempting to put me back into our previous position. 

I roll my eyes, but let him, nuzzling my face into his neck once more before pulling away and looking at him. I look him in the eyes for a moment before sighing heavily. “I have class.” I say, which earns a whine from him. 

“Skip it.” He begs, not yet opening his eyes. 

I mull the thought over, chest tightening as I remember the completely unnecessary therapist appointment that I have today. “No I have to go.” I decide, attempting to get up but Harry’s muscled arms pull me back down. 

“Baby…” He whines, but I shake my head, not allowing it. 

“I have a lot to do today.” I mumble, even though I only have one class in addition to the appointment, it felt like a lot.

Harry seems to give in, pouting in disappointment and finally looking up at me. “What do you have to do?” He asks, sitting up a little bit more along with me. 

“I’ve got uh.. two classes today. Um, 12-2 and 4-5.” I half-lie, averting my eyes so he doesn’t see uncertainty that I have. 

Harry doesn’t comment on it, so I count that as a personal win. “Then I’ll drive you, and we can get lunch in between.” He offers and my heart flutters as my fingers trace patterns down his bare back because he’s _really, actually, and truly_ trying to change. But I have no choice but to shake my head. 

“No, ah, Zayn is already taking me to my 4 o’clock class.” I lie once more and I don’t even really know why I don’t want Harry to know about these appointments. 

Harry doesn’t look particularly happy about it, but doesn’t says anything against it. My heart swells at his new attitude and I grin at him, kissing him quickly and getting out of bed to get ready for the day. 

When I’m in the bathroom, I hesitantly take the medication I had been avoiding for the past few days, just in case. 

* * * *

After Harry drops me off back at my dorm to get ready for my last “Class” I somehow convince Zayn to lie for me as he picks me up and drops me off at the therapy office. He gives me a proud kind of look, but also urges me to tell Harry after I tell him about everything that’s happened in the past 24 hours. 

I don’t respond, just nod vacantly as I get out of the car nervously, playing with my fingers. I walk in the office building with an uncomfortable look on my face, feeling shaky and terrified. The woman at the reception desk looks welcoming enough and she takes in Niall’s scared appearance she puts on a comforting look. “Afternoon, darling, how can I help you?” She asks, extremely motherly and kind. 

Niall tries his best to be comforted by it, but his voice is still soft and stuttering, “Um, H-hi. I’m Niall Horan have an appointment at uh, 4 with d-doctor Cowell?” I ask, reading the words off of the text Greg sent me. The woman clicks away on her computer and smiles when she sees the name. 

“Yes, Doctor Cowell is ready for you right now. I’ll take you back right now if you’d like.” She offers and I nod readily, trying to convince myself not to feint. 

Once we walk into the office– a big, clean and modern one that’s fit for a CEO of a major corporation– the nerves are at an all time high. The nice woman leaves and I’m left with this older, dark haired man with a inquisitive look on his face. There is no stereotypical lounge chair, just a sleek black couch in front of his large, glass desk. “Hello, Niall, is it?” He asks, gesturing towards the couch. There aren’t any pleasantries, and I’m extremely grateful. 

I simply nod, not yet trusting my own voice. 

“Alright well My name is Simon Cowell, you can call me Simon, or Doctor Cowell, whatever makes you most comfortable.” He says very genuinely. Despite his stone cold appearance, his voice is warm and encouraging. 

“Okay.” I agree softly, not feeling at all comfortable. 

Doctor Cowell sits up with a sigh, flipping through a large looking file on his desk. “So, your brother set up this appointment. I assume you don’t really want to be here.” He estimates.

I shrug and Simon sighs once more. “And your brother is getting married? How do you feel about that?” 

My shoulders slump a bit and I shake my head. “Uh, Greg and Denise are r-really happy. And I t-think they just w-want me to be ha-happy too.” I stumble, looking pointedly away from the doctor. 

Simon nods, “Do you approve of them together?” 

I shrug again and his mouth tightens, “So maybe not?”

“Th-they’re happy.” I defend, not wanting the man to think that I’m anything but ecstatic that Greg will finally have a life apart from taking care of his depressed little brother. 

“But you aren’t.” Doctor Cowell rebukes. “I’m obviously a strong advocate of therapy but let me tell you this, Niall, throwing someone into therapy sessions won’t make them happy.” 

And maybe he’s right. Maybe I am a little bit bitter that Greg isn’t doing anything for me right now. But for the past eleven years he’s been my stand-in father– and for the past five years he’s been my stand-in mother as well. “Maybe making me happy… m-maybe that isn’t what makes him happy.” I say and Simon hums in response. 

“Well, it says here that you’ve been to therapy before. After your mother’s death, I presume?” He asks and I flinch. Nobody had brought them up in a long time. Of course, they’re probably ½ of what I think about daily, but It had been years since anyone had mentioned them in conversation. 

I nod, throat already tightening. 

“Your mother died when you were barely a teenager… and your father was already long gone. I’m assuming that after that Greg became your primary care-giver?” Doctor Cowell assumes. 

“Greg and I we-were always close. But after that I-I guess he became my f-full time mom _and_ dad.” I say, and Doctor Cowell looks as if a light bulb went off in his head. 

“Niall, you do realize that family isn’t some ‘you scratch my back, i’ll scratch yours’ kind of situation, right? You don’t owe Greg anything. At least, he doesn’t feel that way.” Simon says, and I feel the first of the tears gather in my eyes. 

“But I d-do.” I say weakly, and Doctor Cowell looks at me sadly, writing it down in his little notebook. 

As Doctor Cowell is writing, I begin to get a bit nervous. “You’re… you don’t get to t-tell Greg any of this, right?” I clarify.

Simon clenches his jaw. “I don’t say a thing to anyone outside of this room unless you are implicating that you’re going to hurt yourself or someone else.” 

I internally let out a sigh of relief before gathering up the courage to ask a question. “Then c-can I ask you a question… a-about my anxiety?” 

The doctor nods and I exhale heavily, “Recently, I- I haven’t been taking my meds… and I-I haven’t been stuttering or feeling too anxious o-or anything.” I say, “But l-listen to me now and lo-ok at my hands.” I gesture to their shakiness. Simon looks perplexed. 

“Well, you really should talk to your doctor about this, but I’ve seen it before. This could quite possibly be your body changing in accommodation of college life, or your anxiety could just be weakening. Has anything prominent happened since you stopped taking your pills?” The doctor asks, “A pet, a new environment, a person, even?” Simon asks and of course, the first thing that comes to mind is Harry.

The first time he ever witnessed one of my panic attack and somehow, somehow got me through it, and then got me through the entire day with no pills. Simon sense my hesitation and looks open to my answer. “You can’t talk to anyone about this?” 

Doctor Cowell looks a bit nervous after that question but hesitantly nods. 

“Its… uh… it’s a p-person.” I say anxiously. 

Simon’s face seems to light up, understanding immediately. “Young love?” He inquires and I blush, not justifying that with an answer. “Well, why don’t you want Greg to know about her?” Doctor Cowell asks and a flaming kind of embarrassment runs deep through my stomach as i look at the ground.

“Because _she_ is a _he_.” I emphasize, watching Simon’s face for any change of expression. 

To my surprise, it doesn’t change. “Oh, sorry for the assumption, Niall.” He begins. “But I still don’t understand. Is Greg homophobic? Or does he not know?” 

I shrug, because somewhere deep down I always believed that Greg knew. I mean, most people could tell just based off of my appearance. I’d never known Greg to be judgmental, but then again, we didn’t know any (out) gay people in Ireland. But he and Louis and Liam were supposedly friends in college and they were both at least bi-sexual if their advances on me said anything. 

“I think you should consider telling Greg. Maybe even introduce your boyfriend to him, if it’s really as serious as you say.” Doctor Cowell. “But only when you’re ready, yeah? And as for your medication, I’d say to see a doctor before going off of it, but it sounds like you may not need it any longer.” 

I nod, ready to move on from this topic. 

“Anyway, we don’t have much longer to talk, so I’d like to touch on one more subject. Your father.” 

I freeze up, not at all expecting to talk about that. “There isn’t much t-to talk about.” I mumble, trying to seem indifferent but I know Simon sees right through me. 

“He’s been gone since you were what, seven?” Simon asks.

Completely by accident, I blurt, “Six.” Then I blush, “I mean– I it was five days after m-my sixth birthday so… i guess I never r-really forget.” I mutter, and Simon looks at me with pity that I don’t want.

“How do you think that’s effected you?” He ponders. 

“I don’t care.” I lie, “We didn’t n-need him.” 

Doctor Cowell tilts his head. “What about after your mother’s death? Surely, you would’ve liked someone to take care of you and Greg.”

Unable to take this topic any longer I stand to my feet. “N-no!” I shout, way louder than I had been all day. “Greg was there for me, and I was there for Greg and we didn’t need anyone else! We didn’t then and we– well he’s happy with Denise and I’m fine on my own!” I say, practically seething. 

I rush to the door, thankful that Greg had already paid. I stop at the door, already feeling guilty for my outburst. “I’m sorry– thank you.” I say gently, running out before my tears fell. 

I burst out of the office building’s doors, feeling like my chest was about to collapse in on itself. No thoughts go through my mind as I sprint out of the complex and down the road. I’m fully aware of how much I’m crying and how ridiculous I must look but I can only focus on one thing. 

_Home. Home. Home._

* * * *

I end up panting and sobbing on the lawn of the fraternity. I hadn’t run like that in a really long time. Even through the clarity and change that I had realized in the appointment, the talk about my parents and past was too much to handle. 

I pull out my phone, dialing Harry, not knowing what else to do. 

“Ni?” He answers and I try to keep my voice as clam as possible. 

My voice is still shaking when I respond, “Hey.” 

As if he can sense it, I can feel Harry’s voice pick up a bit at the sound of my voice. “What’s wrong?” He asks immediately and I shake my head, sniffing.

“Are you home?” I ask, my voice thick with tears. 

He responds instantaneously, “I mean, I’m at the frat.”

“Can you come down here?”

He doesn’t bother to respond, but I hear his feet pounding down the stairs over the phone and the door to the large white house opens quickly. There he is, hair tousled with a large jumper on that reminds me of just how cold I am. He jogs down the stairs, face full of worry as he takes in my appearance. “What’s happened? What’s wrong?” he asks as he walks quickly over to me. He takes me into his arms and I cling on to him tightly, “Who do I need to kill?” He demands and I can’t help but let out a watery laugh. 

I just shake my head into his shoulder, holding on to him like he’s my last lifeline. We stand there in the freezing cold for a quick moment before he takes in my coat-less form and shakes his head in disappointment. He takes my hand. “C’mon lets get you inside before you die of hypothermia.” 

I’m reluctant to go at first, not wanting to face all of his frat brothers, but he simply tucks my face into his neck and drags me in the house, not allowing anybody to talk to us. Some guys wolf-whistle and holler peers the usual, but I imagine that Harry is glaring each of them down according to how quickly their noises die down. We get to his room quickly and he sets me down on his bed, helping me pull off the cold, wet jeans and my tee shirt. I would usually be insecure about him seeing me like this, but he instantly helps me pull on his worn jumper and pulling the blankets over my shivering legs. 

He gets under the covers with me sitting up across from me and pulling my legs so that I’m in his lap. He sits in silence allowing me to warm up in silence as I collect my thoughts. 

After a few minutes I speak up, tears still in my eyes as I admit, “I lied to you.” I whisper, closing my eyes and preparing myself for his reaction. 

Instead of the viable, angry response I thought I might get, he just nods. “I know.” He says, a small, weary smile on his face. 

I blink, not expecting that reaction at all. “What?” I ask blankly, and he laughs. 

“Darling, you’ve never been good at lying. And… as creepy as this sounds, I kind of followed you– only to make sure you were safe! I just didn’t want you to be getting into any kind of trouble, but once I saw you were with Zayn and going to… where you went I left.” He admits and I let out a breathy laugh. 

“You’re… so creepy.” I laugh again, letting my head fall onto his shoulder. He hugs me tightly and laughs too. 

“And you’re so sneaky… thinking you could lie to my face.” He rolls his eyes, and I glare at him. He smirks, acting innocent for a minute before digging his fingers into my sides and inducting our second ever tickle fight. He’s pushing his fingers into my sides and up my arms, making me squeal in laughter. Five minutes later, tears are rolling down my cheeks (in the good way) and we’re both giggling uncontrollably. He’s hovering on top of me and there’s a bit of silence between us until he hesitates, shifting all of his weight to one arm and using the other to grab my own hand and place it against his heart. I sigh in content, and use my free hand to pull down his neck and kiss him. Harry smiles approvingly, kissing me back excitedly and passionately. ‘

We kiss for a while longer, laying in his bed and talking quietly. Then Harry goes and tilts his head and asks, “Do you wanna talk about what happened today?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY ITS BACKKK 
> 
> Also did y'all get it harry is his home aw aw aw 
> 
> Everything is coming into place also like how much character development did we see today? absent father and deceased mother :( poor Greg and Niall. 
> 
> Let me know what you think is going to happen/what you'd like to see happen! I'm always open to ideas and suggestions! Anyway, thanks so much for reading!!


	12. Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com

I sigh heavily, not wanting to completely spill my guts and freak Harry out. But, I know i can’t lie, so I opt to move around the subject lightly. “It’s just… I told or– I at least, I tried to tell you– my brother’s getting married.” I admit, watching Harry’s face morph into shock.

“Greg Horan’s getting hitched?” He asks, baffled, “To who?! When?!” 

I roll my eyes and shrug, “Some girl in Ireland. At the beginning of December.” I sigh, already exhausted just thinking about the wedding. 

Harry takes in my expression and frowns. “Is she a bitch?” He inquires lowly, as if it’s some kind of secret and I can’t help but giggle. 

“No,” I say guiltily, “She’s actually pretty nice. I just… i-it’s been Greg and me for a long time.” I heave out a breath and close my eyes. “And now I guess it’s just Greg and Denise…” 

“Greg and Denise,” Harry repeats, interlocking our fingers as he whispers, “and Niall and Harry.” 

A smile finds it’s way onto my face and I kiss his cheek, utterly impressed with his new attitude towards us. “So…” I mumble awkwardly. 

He grins. “So…” He scotches closer to me and leans in, kissing me in a quick peck before leaning away with a smug smile on his face. 

I roll my eyes playfully, sitting back against his headboard. “Anyway, I’ll be gone for like four days or something.” I say, tilting my head with a grimace. He seems to catch on and he frowns deeply, a crease forming in between his eyes, just above his nose. 

“Wait, four whole days? Back to Ireland?” he exasperates. I nod simply and he sighs. “Fuck.” He drawls, once again coming closer into my space. He pulls me into his lap so that his nose is imprinted against my cheek. “But, I’ll miss you.”

I bite my tongue for a moment, allowing myself to breathe before I blurt. “Greg said I could have a plus one.” 

Harry then pulls back, looking confused. “Okay…?” He whispers slowly as he begins to realize what I had just proposed. He looks away from my form, where he can see the mortification begin to take me over. 

Mentally, I punch myself, and I look away. “Um I mean, just.. G-greg said I could bring someone to the w-wedding. A-and I thought I could bring y-you?” I stutter.

Harry’s eyes are wide and his shoulders tense as he turns to look back at me, “W-what?” He asks, looking terrified. 

I want to shake my head, take the words from the air and put them back into my mouth and pretend they never happened. “I um… I…” I flounder, completely embarrassed, “I, basically, just asked if you wanted to come to Greg’s wedding with me?” I wince. 

The brunette seems to understand my humiliation because he sighs, rubbing a large hand across my thigh. 

“Babe, it’s- it’s not you… It’s just, your brother and I… we didn’t exactly– uh, get along.” He says vaguely, looking genuinely sorry. “I don’t think he’d want me at his wedding.” 

I give him a sad look, and I almost feel bad for giving him my ultimate puppy dog look, but it seems to do the trick. He grits his teeth as he continues to stare into my eyes, wide and hopeless looking and he sighs. “I just.. can I think about it?” He asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Do you want me to ask Greg about it?” I ask sullenly, wondering what could be so bad about their past relationship. 

“No!” He blurts, cutting me off completely. “I mean, just, it’s better if we get it on the down low… at least until I figure out if I’m going, yeah?” He says nervously and I nod hesitantly, still feeling distraught. 

* * * * 

Ashton comes home the next day and Harry fretfully leaves the two of us alone after leaving a long, sweet kiss on my forehead and promising to call later. 

Ashton doesn’t say much, just gives a vague description that his quick trip home was fun and that his family is doing fine. I don’t really believe him, though, if the red rims and purple bruises around his eyes have anything to say about it. I don’t push him, though, I just grin and shrug off the Australian’s chides about Harry and then I finally convince the boy to get some sleep. 

Harry calls thirty minutes after he leaves, asking me if I wanted to get lunch, and I accept, making a quick, mental note to myself to check on Ashton soon before I leave the dorm. 

* * * *

One week later, Ashton is still being extremely shifty about his trip back to Australia. The guy is distant and never at the dorm when I am, and nearly every time he is at the dorm, he’s actually working. I begin to get worried and confused at his new antics, but every time I mention it, Ashton just brushes it off and laughs. 

“Ash, I-I’m worried about you.” I tell him one day after he had gotten mad at my constant prodding. 

Ashton sends me a slightly guilty look, remarking, “I’m worried about you, too.” 

I give him a bewildered look, turning to him, “What? Why?” I question.

“Not only are you and Harry suddenly head over heels in love.” He utters snidely

And, okay, Ashton had caught Harry and I getting a bit too frisky in our dorm, but that hardly meant we– he was in love. 

“Ashton–” I try, but he cuts me off.

“Just shut the fuck up, Niall, I don’t want to hear it.” He sneers and I give him a hurt, confused look.

“What’s w-wrong Ashton? I don’t get w-why you’re so m-mad.” I ask with furrowed brows and Ashton shakes his head, leaving the dorm in a huff and leaving me with whiplash, wondering where my friend went after that trip.

* * * *

3 texts and four calls later, Ashton still hasn’t come back, so I allow Harry to come pick me up and take me back to the frat while I wait for Ashton to return some of my texts. 

Speaking of people not responding, Harry still hasn’t gotten back to me on whether or not he’ll come with me to Greg’s wedding– which is in two weeks, might I add. 

“Greg, hey.” I pick up, sitting around in Harry’s room while he takes a shower before we go to dinner. 

“Hey, buddy, how’s it going?” He asks in a yawn, voice gravelly over the phone. 

I sigh, looking at a framed picture Harry has of us in his room. It was a new addition, a selfie of the two of us looking like absolute goofballs, but I loved it nonetheless. “I have a question actually.” I decide, speaking lowly. “I kind of.. I have a plus one.” I mumble and Greg perks up instantly. 

“That’s great, Niall!” He says excitedly. “Who is it? Anyone I know?” 

I hum, “I’m not sure, Greg, but I just wanted to make sure it was okay? If I have a date, I mean.” I try, still not quite getting at what I want to say.

Greg snorts. “Of course, Niall, why wouldn’t it be?” 

I gulp loudly, and the phone goes silent. “Greg?” I ask meekly. “Is it… is it okay if I’m gay?” 

There’s a sharp inhale from the other side of the phone and tears instantly prickle in my eyes. 

The silence is deafening in my ears as the call’s long distance minutes begin to rack up. 

“Niall, yes.” He finally breathes. “Of course it’s okay for you to be gay.” He heaves another breath. “I’m so glad you finally felt comfortable enough to tell me.” He admits and I let out a watery laugh. 

“Okay, cool.” I say simply, worried that if I say anymore, I’ll cry. “Then, uh, me and my date will see you in a week.” I laugh, unable to control how happy I felt. 

Greg and I exchange our goodbyes, quite emotionally, and I hang up the phone just as Harry enters the room dressed in only a pair of boxer briefs. 

He takes in my disheveled appearance and walks towards me slowly. “Is everything okay?” He asks, and I nod, getting up and hugging his half naked torso to my own. 

We stand in silence for a moment before I murmur, “I just came out to Greg.” I chuckle and Harry pulls away, looking at me with a shocked look. 

“Really?” He asks, taking in my excited face. “I’m guessing it went well?” He questions hesitantly and I laugh, nodding into his chest. 

“He said it was okay.” I mumble happily, adding, “He also said I could bring my b– plus one.” I say.

Harry gives me a playfully annoyed look. “He’s not going to like it when he realizes its me.” He complains, “But, if you’re okay with dealing with his bad mood… then I can go.” He forces himself to say, and I know he’s uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to go.

“You’re the best, Hazza.” I squeal, jumping back into his arms. 

He laughs nervously, kissing the side of my head. 

“I guess I’ll have to tell Des I can’t make it to ‘family dinner’ on Saturday.” Harry says wearily and I perk up.

“Who _is_ Des, anyway, you keep mentioning him.” I ask, referencing back to the few times Harry had talked about the guy.

Harry gives me an incredulous look. “You’ve met him.” He states and I blink, confused. Harry gives me a concerned look for a second before realization seems to dawn on him. “Oh, oh, no, you met him as ‘Chancellor Styles,’ didn’t you?” Harry rolls his eyes. “Yeah, that guy, my biological father.” Harry spits as if the words left an acrid taste in his mouth. 

My eyes widen. “Oh yeah.” I give him an unimpressed look. “We still need to talk about that, by the way.” I say, nudging him and Harry shrugs.

“Let’s save it for another day.” He says and I decide to let it slide for now. “Anyway,” He begins, “I’d love to see just how appreciative you are that I’m going to this wedding for you,” He smirks, leaning back with his hands behind his head. 

Niall smiles slyly, crawling into Harry’s lap and kissing him with a confidence he hadn’t had before. “Tell me what to do.” Niall whispers as he tugs down Harry’s boxers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhhh Narrys getting down x.x should i write smut? Idk if it really fits into this story but i can :\ :\ Anyway, sorry if this is bad, it was basically just a filler. I KNOW ITS SHORT BUT THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS ARE GON BE DRAMATIC AND CRAY OK SO JUST BE PATIENT.
> 
> anyway, i have another oneshot in mind to be up soon, so get ready ;) thanks for reading lovelies :)


	13. Fight or Flight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com

I shook my head stubbornly, face bright red and jaw clenched as Harry tried to calm me down. 

“Come on, baby, you know I wouldn’t–” He tries from outside the closet once more, sitting opposite from where I was on the ground. 

“Shut up.” I mutter, still so completely embarrassed I could hardly think straight. 

Harry bangs his he’d against the cheap wood of the door. “Ni, come on.” He chides, sounding genuinely upset that I wouldn’t properly talk back to him. “It was just an idea. I thought it would be hot.”

I groan loudly and open the closet door, making Harry jump away in surprise. 

“You’re not going to.. to do that.” I say, shoving a finger at his chest and Harry is grinning now, much to my dismay. “Stop.” I glare, trying to withdraw my finger. He grabs my hand gently, not allowing me to pull away just yet. He takes my hand and kisses the palm lightly before holding it against his chest, as he does. 

almost instantly the anger fades away and I can’t help but sigh dreamily at him. 

“Seriously though, next time, you should let me take a picture of you sucking my dick.” Harry grins, poking at my red cheek playfully. My eyes narrow as he says the words, and I make a biting notion at his fingers as they slowly pull away from my face. 

He yelps, snatching them back quickly and I cackle, throwing my head back, “That’s what’ll happen if you ever try to do that.” I warn and Harry throws his hands up in defeat. 

“Fine, you say that now. You’ll change your mind.” Harry says, smirk on his face as he leans back against his headboard comfortably. I glare at him once more but he shrugs it off, patting his chest lightly, beckoning me to come closer.

“Doubtful.” I respond, rolling my eyes as I crawl up his bed and into his arms.

* * * * 

“A-Ash?” I call, walking into my dorm room with a yawn.

I’m not really expecting much of an answer. It didn’t seem like Ashton was coming home by the way he left earlier. 

Harry had walked me home but decided after dropping me off that he wanted to spend the night, seeing as I was 99% sure that Ashton was gone. He was following close behind, but he decided to walk back to get some clothes so he wouldn’t have to leave early.

I hear no response and in turn, flick on the light switch. 

It takes about two seconds for me to understand what’s happening. One look to Ashton’s bed says it all. Two people, under the covers, one with brownish curly hair and the other…

“Luke?!” I shout before understanding just what was happening and immediately shutting my eyes, screeching loudly, “What the fuck?!” 

I instantly walk straight back out of the door and out into the hall. In a huff, I sit against the wall, sliding down, feeling traumatized. 

After what feels like agonizing hours, Luke shamefully makes his way through the door, giving me one embarrassed glance before rushing off to his room. 

Well then. 

I basically tip toe into the dorm room, terrified of what I might find behind the door. Surprisingly enough, I just see Ashton, this time with pants on, sitting on his bed. 

“U-um.” I stutter unhelpfully. 

Ashton gives me an awkward smile, shrugging, complete opposite of how he was just earlier. “Sorry you had to see that, Ni.” He yawns, as if this was something that happened typically. 

“But-” I stumble over my words as I try to understand how I even feel about the situation, “Luke?” I manage, giving him a confused look. The last time I checked, Ashton hated Luke’s guts. 

Ashton shrugs once more, leaving me without an answer. “Ashton y-you’ve been acting so weird lately…” I try to begin but Ashton’s glare shuts me up.

In the blink of an eye, Ashton’s angry again. “Haven’t we already been through this, Niall?” He grunts, obviously annoyed with me. This is nothing like the Ashton I knew before– nothing like the guy I spent hours with cuddling and watching movies. 

Now I’m the one shrugging, not wanting to start another fight with my roommate. 

There’s a knock on the door and I brace myself as Ashton’s annoyed look turns back to me. “Who the fu–” 

“Ni, it’s me, c’mon babe!” Harry calls impatiently and Ashton rolls his eyes from his place on the bed. 

“He is not staying here tonight.” He dictates, glowering at me as if I had killed his cat. 

I give Ashton a completely shocked, disbelieving face before turning away and grabbing up a pile of clothes and walking to the door. “Where are you-” Ashton tries to ask before I slam the door, pushing Harry backwards as I do so. 

“Let’s go.” I say lowly, walking past Harry and down the hall. 

It seems to take Harry a minute to realize just what’s happening before he’s rushing down the hall after me. “Um, what just happened?” He asked, confused. I thought Ashton wasn’t at the dorm?” 

I give him a blank look. “I got back and him and Luke were–” I trail off, giving Harry disgusted look, to which he laughs out loud. 

“Aussie 1 and 2, at it again!” He crows, loud enough to wake up the entire floor of dorms. I shush him, trying not to let on that I’m giggling like a man person. 

We make our way out of the dorm building and make a point to rush to Zayn’s car, it looks like. “You took Zayn’s car?” I ask with another laugh and Harry simply nods.

“He said I could have it.” 

I give him an impressed look. “So you guys are back to talking?” 

Harry nodded, a small smile on his face. “Zayn’s my best friend. He always forgives me when I do stupid shit.” His face darkens bit, “Not that it was that stupid…” He mumbles.

I shake my head, not bothering to argue with him for just this once. 

The drive feels longer than usual with the silence in the car, but Harry soon breaks it, coughing. “So, um, I got some news.” He mutters and my eyes shoot over to him.

“What?” I ask, somewhat nervously. 

News never seemed to be good anymore.

“I called Des earlier, to tell him I couldn’t make it to dinner with him and my grandma, but.. he says its necessary.” He adds, “Not that I would ever listen to him over you, but my grandma asked… and now I kind of have to go.” He says apologetically. 

Upon seeing my face- which must be heartbroken despite how much I tried to stop it– he rectifies his statement. “Shit, I meant to say, I can still go to Ireland and everything… I just have to leave Sunday. The wedding is on Saturday, right?” He asks and I heave out a sigh of relief, shaking my head at him disbelievingly. 

I breathe out heavily a few more times, trying to regulate my breathing and Harry slows the car, reaching out a hand to rub my back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I should’ve started with that, I’m an idiot.” He apologizes, looking genuinely angry at himself for forgetting to say a simply sentence. 

I shake my head, wishing I wasn’t always so overdramatic. 

“It’s okay, I-I’m such a drama queen.”I sputter, leaning forward and letting out a few breathy laughs. 

Harry shakes his head. “No you’re not. You’re just now getting off of your panic attack meds, your bound to have a couple of moments, Ni, you’re fine.” He placates and I take the hand that’s now rubbing my thigh and squeeze it tightly in my own, dumbfounded that this was the boy that had once made me cry every other night.

* * * * 

A week later, Harry and I are at the airport, early on Thursday morning. Harry’s buzzing up and down and honestly, his movements are giving me a bit more anxiety than I already have in a crowded airport. 

“Harry,” I chide as if he’s a little kid, taking his hand in mine and intertwining our fingers. “Greg’s opinion of you isn’t going to change my opinion of you, okay?” I try to calm him down but he simply closes his eyes. 

“He really, really hates me, Niall.” Harry says nervously, playing with the fingers of my free hand. “You can’t believe what he says, Ni, I’ve changed since I knew him.” He says pleadingly, as if he’s trying to convince me. 

Of course I know that. Harry’s changed billions from even the day he met me. Of course he wasn’t the same person he was a year an a half ago. I wasn’t the same person I was a year and a half ago, either. Nobody is.

“Okay, Harry.” I say, kissing his cheek as lovingly as possible, trying to ignore all of the looks we’re getting. I clasp my shaking hand tighter around Harry’s. “I’ve changed a lot since then, too. But Greg has a hard time seeing past… well, the past. He still sees me as his 5 year old, mentally disabled kid brother.” I shrug. “We’ll both be dealing with stereotypes this weekend.” I give Harry a small smile. 

He returns it with a sad, somewhat sympathetic look of his own, kissing my forehead. “Well we’re better now, yeah? We’ll teach them about the new us.” He says with a nod, as if he’s trying to convince himself more than me. 

I grin at him, nodding as well. “Sounds good.” 

* * * * 

We arrive in Ireland around noon that same day. 

I thought that Harry was overreacting when he said that Greg hated him.

But now, watching my brother tackle my boyfriend to the dirty ground of the airport, I think maybe he was underestimating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:) mahahhahahahhahhahaha this was fun
> 
> FINALLY the plot is actually on its way yayyyyy I’m so sorry for not updating like, ever. Im in my junior year of high school trying to get into college and still have a social life and its NOT EASY. I promise it won’t be another two months until my next update. I’ll try to do it ASAP. Keep in mind I DO have a schedule though. Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Your comments are everything I love to hear suggestions of what you think is going on ;) ;)


	14. Back Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> narrystoranwritings.tumblr.com

“Greg!” I scream, ignoring the startled looks that the crowd in the airport is giving us. Denise looks on at the scene in front of her in shock, eyes wide and frozen like she’s paralyzed. Greg’s shouting something at Harry, something I can’t quite make out, but words of “baby brother” and “don’t you fucking dare” come out through the mix. 

I stand, completely unsure of what to do when Greg starts punching. Harry’s not fighting back, surprisingly, and I know it’s because it’s my brother and I just want him to stop but-

Suddenly there’s a loud, masculine shout and the crowd that had gathered around them disperses as a large security guard runs forward. “Hey! You two! Break it up!” He shouts and effectively pulls Greg off of Harry. Instantly I’m falling towards my boyfriend on the ground. Aside from a bruise that’s already starting to form around his nose, Harry looks fine, but his eyes are dark and angry, and I know it took everything within him to not fight back. 

“Harry, oh my god.” I sputter, shaking my head in apology because really, I have no idea how to deal with this situation. “I’m so sorry.” I say, ignoring Greg’s snort of disapproval, despite the fact that he was the one getting lectured by the airport cop. 

Harry shakes his head, still somehow finding it in him to send me a boyish smile, “Told you he hated me.” 

* * * * 

Harry and I end up getting a cab. 

Greg won’t even look me in the eyes and Denise keeps apologizing but I can’t tell if she even means it. My brother stays a good ten feet away from Harry, and glares at Denise when she tries to guide us to the car. So I take the hint, grabbing Harry’s hand in my own and turning. “It’s fine.” I say, in response to Greg’s glare, which moves over towards me. “We’ll just catch a cab home.”

“Niall that’s nonsense-” Denise begins but Greg’s indignant interruption solidifies my decision. 

“Not completely..” Greg mumbles and I just huff incredulously. 

“See you at the house.” I say, tugging Harry’s hand in the opposite direction, off to the cabbie lane. 

It’s not until we’re in the cab that I actually feel comfortable. I hold Harry’s hand close as I scrutinize the bruise around his eye. I make a small whimpering sound as he involuntarily flinches. “Oh, Harry… I’m so sorry.”

Harry rolls his eyes at my doting, and shrugs. “Doesn’t even hurt.” He lies.

I give him an unimpressed look. “I didn’t think he’d lose control like that. I don’t… I’ve never seen him act like that before.” 

The unspoken air of _‘What did you do?’_ is clear. 

Harry sighs. “Look, Ni. Greg and I just don’t get along. Can’t explain it. We fought over a lot in school. I’m dating his baby brother now. In his eyes, I’ve taken the innocence of his baby brother. So he hates me even more now.” 

I exhale heavily, “Yeah but… I _like_ you.” I whine and Harry laughs. 

“That’s all that really matters, then, yeah?” He responds and I tilt my head. 

“Yeah.” I respond lightly.

* * * *

Greg doesn’t speak to either of us. 

I’m his best man and he can barely look me in the eyes. Denise gives us sorrowful glances but its clear there’s nothing she can do. I still have yet to really understand why he hates Harry so much, or why he won’t speak to either or us, all I understand is that Greg is pissed. 

He says a few words to me on his wedding day and I want to say something meaningful, like “mom would be proud” or something, but the tremors in my hands and the anxiety still wracking my chest prevents me from doing so. I try to not feel hurt when Greg’s good friend from college mentions to some bridesmaid that he’s giving the best man’s speech since “Greg’s lil bro has those mental problems or whatever.” 

Later when he tells Harry, the brunette “accidentally” spills his drink on the same guy. 

The wedding is fine, I suppose. It’s in a church and I can feel the judgement that’s radiating off of half of the attendees as they watched Harry place a land low on my back and whisper delicate words into my ear that helped calm me down as I was about to spend an hour in front of a generous crowd of people. The whispers are almost too much to bare, even after the ceremony has taken place, at the reception. I can recognize nearly everyone– perks of living in a small town all your life. They all know who I am, and it’s easy for them to assume or gather that I’m gay. It was “obvious,” after all. 

Harry stays with me the entire night, not once leaving my side. He makes me laugh and giggle and he takes my mind off of the anger that Greg has within him. Even many hours into the night, as we’re all sending the happy couple off to some hotel they’re going to since they aren’t having their honeymoon until later in the week after I’ve left, Greg manages to send us a look. 

It’s not one of joy that I would’ve expected had I come alone. It wasn’t pure anger either. It was quite obviously directed at Harry, not me, but I could still see the intensity behind it. 

There wasn’t a clear emotion behind it, but Niall understood what it meant. He knew his brother. 

_‘Back off.’_

* * * *

Sending Harry off was harder than I thought it would be. 

It had been a large sum of days since I had spent time away from Harry. It had been days since I had spent a day without seeing Harry at least once. It had been days since I slept alone. 

I hug Harry outside Greg’s little house for a few minutes as the cabbie impatiently taps against his steering wheel and will myself not to cry. Harry pulls back eventually, kisses me hard and gets in the cab, waving at me until his face isn’t visible anymore. 

* * * *

It explodes when Greg returns home with Denise. 

They’re carrying their overnight bags and they look exhausted, but only Denise goes upstairs right away.

Greg sits next to me hesitantly and my heart rate immediately spikes. 

I didn’t want to have this conversation.

I didn’t want Greg to scare me away from the one good thing I had found in London.

“He is not the guy you think he is.” He begins and I close my eyes in acceptance. This is it.

I stay silent, unwilling to let my brain receive his words fully. 

“It’s a ploy, a bet, Niall, I know it is.” He says and instantly, my brain forces me to pay attention. A what?

I look at him and Greg nods as he realizes that I’m paying attention to him.

“His frat does it every year, Niall, last year it was one of our recruits. He dropped out a month after they were done with their little game, Niall. They’re fucked up.” Greg says lowly and my shaking hands pick at the frayed area of his sweater.

I shake my head. “No.” I deny. No.

“He’s using you. He’s doing it all for laughs, seniority, and maybe a little money.” 

I bite my tongue, face scrunching in confusion. “Why? Can you give me a single reason why he would do that?” 

“Because of me.” Greg mutters, almost like he’s sorry, at my stricken look, Greg sighs, “Harry and I butted heads a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Everyone knew about my baby brother and everyone knew you were gonna go to school there. There’s no way that Harry just coincidentally ‘fell in love’ with my little brother.” 

“I don’t believe you!” I shout suddenly, my brain not at all capable of understanding the situation at hand, and I shove at Greg’s chest angrily. “I don’t!”

“Then you’re being an idiot.”

“Me?” Niall sputters, laughing at his brother’s preposterous words. “You’ve been trying to get me to date for years, shoving all these girls at me even though you apparently knew that I was struggling with my sexuality? You’re the arse that’s getting married right out of college! Don’t talk crap to me about being too dumb or too young! You just got married to someone and you’re only 24!” 

Greg shakes his head, anger steaming through his words, Denise never made bets about screwing me though, did she? Nope, that was your perfect little Hazzy,” Greg mimics, voice going high. “And when it all comes out, when he fucks you over, I’m going to be the one that has to pick up all the pieces. Just like always.” Greg says and my heart cracks a bit.

“You don’t have to take care of me anymore then, it’s obvious you don’t want to.” I say bitterly, eyes narrowed at my brother.

“I shouldn’t have to!” He shouts. “I’m going to have my own family soon enough! Do you think I want to be spending my wedding weekend fighting with my pathetic little brother and his “loving, beautiful” boyfriend?”

I go silent, unable to control the hurt that’s now coursing through my body from his words.

“You know what, Niall?” Greg chuckles darkly, “I’m done. Just don’t call me when that _fag_ screws you over.”

And in an instant, I no longer had a brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah shit, guys.
> 
> What do you think?? Idk, it doesn’t feel like Harry’s pretending to me, but you guys tell me what you think is going on! What’s up with Harry and what really happened between him and Greg? And what’s going on with the family dinner that Harry had to go to??? And Justin? So many questions.. Sorry for the wait and the shorter chapter but things are starting to peak in this story and i promise there will be an update soon enough. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos mean the world! <3 :)

**Author's Note:**

> *hides behind the covers* I hope that was okay! Comment and Kudos if you’d like me to continue. Thanks! xx


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